I feel awkward seeing my friends naked

[Sundaycoffee]

How do you feel about seeing your friends walk around in the nude? Is it assumptious of them to think you would be fine with it? Or am I the prude?
One of my friends is perfectly comfortable whipping everything out when we are away together (e.g when she is changing she will just stand there chatting to me totally naked). It makes me feel awkward and I don't know where to look.
She's a size 22 so everything is very "out there" I don't think her being smaller would make me feel differently but it's definitely a lot harder to try and ignore her gigantic boobs 🤣
Would you be fine with this? AIBU?

No conversation is so important that it can't wait a few seconds for someone to whip on some clothes or a towel.
I really don't want someone standing there in front of me letting it all hang out, thank you very much. It's pretty exhibitionist really.

Weird! If I swim with a friend and we change in the communal bit afterwards, we are obviously naked, but we don't stop and face each other for a chat! We turn our backs a bit, get dressed and then engage. Not hiding stuff but definitely not flaunting it.......

This.

That's how you see it - not everyone is the same.

I’m in my 40s. Mum was very relaxed about nudity. She taught sister and l, when in our teens, that there is nothing wrong with bodies but to “be aware of bad people”.

If l had a pound for every friend who has seen me naked and one for every friend I’ve seen, l would be a very rich woman. l could well be the OP’s friend here, although a smaller version, but like others l don’t see size has anything to do with it. She is bigger but relaxed. That’s lovely, plus when you are talking to someone you should maintain eye contact.

l was born in the UK but brought up in France due to dad’s job. I think half of France has seen me naked.

l’ve shared rooms (and double showers) with friends on holiday, been naked in spas, communal changing rooms, saunas in mainland Europe and go topless at the beach, as did my now deceased mother. My body is far from perfect but nothing to be ashamed of.

Did I say they were?

I have a few friends from Scandinavia and it would not shock me at all- I remember the first time we visited we went to a sauna and you are not allowed any clothes in saunas, so we all sat naked and it felt a bit awkward. It's just a different culture.
I would not bat an eyelid now.

I'm the size 18 friend with the gigantic boobs and I'd try and hide my body or get changed in the bathroom if I'm away with friends! However, my friend who I've known forever and I know won't judge me, I do get changed in front of and she does me but I wouldn't stand talking whilst doing so! I don't mind her seeing a quick flash of my boobs but I don't really want her inspecting them 😆

Well you said that you thought she was "pretty exhibitionist really". I disagree. I think she just sees it differently to you.

This is definitely something that varies greatly by culture. Danes, Germans, Czechs, Austrians, Scandinavians all think nothing of heading to the spa and getting naked with friends. Generally, anyone attempting to wear clothing in a spa-type place will be frowned on mightily.

Don't visit such a place, OP!

I honestly don’t see how this is possible, unless you’ve literally never been to a gym or swimming pool. I get that people use cubicles where available and some do that weird towel dance thing, but surely not everyone does that every time?

Exactly this. When l go to the gym tits and bums hang out all over the place in the changing room and, shock horror, I’ve probably spoken to someone while naked! I can’t be arsed to cover my bits through fear of offending someone else.

This thread is wild. I've never seen any of my friends naked, nor anyone else in any UK changing room. Where are you all living where there are people letting it all hang out?? I've lived all over the country and am a frequent user of swimming pools and other sports facilities, not once have I seen anyone naked. In underwear yes, but not butt naked. If someone needs to get naked they always do it under a towel or in a cubicle. Maybe I've been living in really conservative places or something??

I'm not self conscious about my body but I think it's a matter of respect to not inflict nudity on others who are sharing a space with me and might not want to see it.
If a friend did what the OP describes I'd be mortified and would stop meeting up with her.

Same for me with public nudity. I don't think I've been in a communal changing room since I was a kid at primary school going to the swimming baths with the school. Anywhere I've been since then has had private changing facilities. I'm not saying they don't exist, just that it's not something I've experienced. Living in a major city and going to various places, it's not something that's seen as the norm. I think if there's the choice of both, most people would opt for privacy over letting a total stranger see them stark naked.

I'm gobsmacked! I'm a big, older girl & couldn't care less. I tell my girls it's a body, we all have one!

I didn't grow up in a Naked House; bathroom doors were locked when in use and everyone got dressed in private. I have seen a couple of people naked in the changing room at the gym but, in my experience, the vast majority of people use the cubicles or put their underwear on before removing their towel.

The only time I have ever seen a friend's boobs was on holiday 15 years ago, when her drink was spiked and I had to get her out of her dress and into pyjamas. She happened to be bra-less under the dress - I would have left it on had she been wearing one!

It's just a body, she doesnt care, nor should you.

I once saw a lady come in to communal showers in the gym ... separate cubicles with no doors. She had a full length raincoat on ... she kept trying to take it off to shower but she could not bring herself to do it and left, still wearing her raincoat. Needless to say, everybody noticed. If she'd been naked nobody would have batted an eyelid.

The thing that bothers me about the 'proudly naked' contingent is that there doesn't always seem to be that much thought put into whether or not other people are comfortable with having someone else's bits dangling in their eyeline. I'm sure some do exercise consideration for that, but many don't. And there's a lot of invalidation directed at those who would prefer not to see other people naked. (I don't mean particularly on this thread, but in the world generally.)

Fully naked for no discernible reason is very peculiar. I could see possibly being briefly topless around your friend if you were on holiday and sharing a room. But the only time you might be knickerless would be for less than a second while changing, but most people would put their bottoms on first while still in the bathroom I'd have thought?
Yeah, I would find it a bit much. I guess the larger they are the harder it is to ignore their nakedness as well. Unless you were naturists or having a sexual relationship it seems a bit bizarre.

I dont get it. Why does your friend NEED to stand in front of you talking to you, with no clothes on?

I'd tell her you'd rather she didn't

I once saw a friend naked in a shop changing room (years ago) and she had pubic hair growing down her inner thighs. Quite a long way down , towards her knees

I'd never seen anything like that before nor since, actually 🙂

It was quite something 😱
.

I honestly don’t see how this is possible, unless you’ve literally never been to a gym or swimming pool. I get that people use cubicles where available and some do that weird towel dance thing, but surely not everyone does that every time?

I think there’s a fair bit of competitive prudery on this thread tbh. All the “never seen anyone naked in my entire life” and “no thanks very much we are British and don’t bring your disgusting nudity here” stuff seems performative and trying to make a point.

Theres a middle ground here surely? I wouldn’t be massively keen on someone standing talking to me completely starkers for a long time either, it’s a bit aggressive. But the fits of vapour over the idea of a very short bit of occasional nakedness in a single sex changing room is ridiculous. And anyone saying they have never caught a glimpse of a boob in a changing room is talking out of their arse, sorry. No wonder we have so many sexual hang ups as a nation if people feel so threatened by accidental nudity!

My gym/pool, attached to a chain hotel, doesn’t have cubicles in the changing area, just separate changing rooms for men and women, l thought this was normal?

l have nothing to hide from the woman next to me.

Digressing slightly, there are still many places in France where you walk past the men’s urinals to get to the Ladies. That didn’t scar me for life either.

I don't want to see a male friend with his cock and balls out, and I don't want to see a female friend with her boobs and pubes out. As others have said, it's different if you're in a communal gym chamging room or similar, but not in other situations where you could easily and would usually cover up.

If you had visitors would you stroll around from the bedroom to the bathroom bollock naked? I'm guessing the majority of people wouldn't purely because of the chance of inadvertently bumping into someone on the landing and the likelihood of embarrassment ensuing all round. I don't give a flying fart if the Scandinavians are all doing their weekly shop in a pair of snow boots and nothing else.

elderflowerspritzer wasn’t questioning your dislike of it, she was just pointing out that you are wrong to call people exhibitionists just because they don’t feel the way you do about it.

Can't you make a joke of it?

Like 'Sandra, I can't look you in the eye with those knockers out' Then laugh so she knows you're a little uncomfortable.

I had a friend who did this but I used to joke like 'put it away, I can't take you seriously like that'.