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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you have thought of me at soft play today

78 replies

Whatwilltomorrowhold · 08/10/2024 22:15

As a parent?

Dd is 6 and in school, but had a Drs appointment today that ended around 2.30. She was then hungry and there was no time to go back to school.
A new ball pool type place has opened nearby and she’s been asking to go to it. We went and she was really happy to be running around, going down slides etc.
The few kids there were under 4, Dd chatted to a few and helped some little ones, but was happy climbing and doing her own thing, The other parents were all following their kids around and I sat more or less the whole time, with a coffee and on my phone. I obviously engaged with Dd, got us snacks and drinks and I went to look at the slides she was on/took a few pics of her.
What would you have thought of me? Just sat on my phone? Just felt a bit self conscious, but Dd really doesn’t need or want me following her around a place like that.

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 08/10/2024 22:17

I have a crazy toddler that likes to scale things and chuck herself off. I would not have noticed you to think anything! I think most people are probably caught up in their own children.

immy12 · 08/10/2024 22:17

I honestly wouldn't have thought anything at all. If your child is older, as you say, they didn't need you in there helping them. Probably if anything would have been slightly jealous!

TokyoSushi · 08/10/2024 22:18

As long as your child was behaving and not mithering others (sounds like she was fine) well, then, nothing!

Nicetocatchup · 08/10/2024 22:18

I’m not a parent but I do go to soft plays/similar a lot and lots of parents sit and have a coffee rather than follow their child(ren), I’ve never thought anything of it, it’s just different parenting styles and/or children personalities and needs. I certainly wouldn’t have judged you or thought anything negative about you.

OhBumBags · 08/10/2024 22:18

Why would anyone even really notice you, let alone form an opinion about you?

FlakyAquaQuoter · 08/10/2024 22:18

Honestly? As the mother of a three year old who's often dragging me around, I'd have been thinking "go you! You made it to the time where softplay is relaxing for you and great for them!"
On occasion, my daughter will allow a quick cuppa while she plays and I relish that time.
Don't feel self conscious, she was happy, you were happy. Perfect! Hope the appointment went well.

Changingplace · 08/10/2024 22:21

I don’t think I’d particularly have registered you to be honest, why would anyone be concerned with what another parent is doing in this situation? Unless your child was being a pain (which she wasn’t), or should’ve been supervised but wasn’t (which was unnecessary) I don’t imagine anyone cared what you were doing.

Itsmahoneybaloney · 08/10/2024 22:22

Most parents at soft play sit on their phones drinking a coffee. Why would you think that someone would judge you for that? Unless you have very young children you don't need to get involved really.

EngineStartStop · 08/10/2024 22:24

I doubt I would’ve even noticed you. I wouldn’t have thought anything.

KatieL5 · 08/10/2024 22:24

If your child is well behaved nobody would even notice. If your child is causing issues people would likely not take kindly to it.

Original poster
Whatwilltomorrowhold · 08/10/2024 22:28

Dd was behaving fine.

I don’t know, I suppose because I was literally the only one sat down at a table drinking coffee, on my phone 😅
It did feel weird, haven’t been to that type of place for ages and used to be all over the place too, felt more relaxing, also a bit sad-they grow up so fast

OP posts:
Cobblersorchard · 08/10/2024 22:37

I might have wondered for 30 seconds if you were a home educating type, or something dodgy was going on. But only for the briefest moment. I was in a supermarket in school
hours today and there was a parent in there with several school aged kids. I did notice them but I didn’t think much of it IYSWIM. There’s many reasons why they could be there.

Years ago I did spot a child in an unusual context and had to give a statement to the police (as they were on the news as a missing person), so I do tend to mentally clock things just in case.

Goldbar · 08/10/2024 22:40

If I had seen you shadowing a 6yo happily doing their own thing in the play frame, I would have thought that you were taking helicopter parenting to extremes 😂.

Tbh by 4 my child was going it alone unless the play area was a big one where I couldn't roughly keep tabs on where they were.

Parents do get it wrong sometimes. My DH once took DC1 (then 3 1/2) to a very challenging indoor playground (mostly wood and some steep drops) and let DC1 loose, completely missing the "please supervise under-6s closely' signs. DC1, luckily quite a risk-averse child, ended up having to be rescued by the staff and DH was rightly embarrassed. We've been back since and it's only lately that DC1, now 7, is happy and confident going round alone.

Cantgetausername87 · 08/10/2024 22:40

I'd have been jealous but wouldn't think anything bad. Crazy toddler mum here. I'd be yearning for a coffee and thinking I cannot wait to do that

BarbaraHoward · 08/10/2024 23:02

That's what I do at soft play if I'm with my 6yo. My 4yo too most of the time.

They don't need constant supervision at that age, and indeed it's best not to helicopter them somewhere like that. Unless your child was causing problems for others you're all good. Downtime for her, downtime for you. But adult and child downtime look very different. Grin

IceStationZebra · 08/10/2024 23:08

The only time I ever pay attention to other parents in that sort of setting is if they’re being loud or ignoring their children (NOT what you were doing, I mean refusing to engage with a young child who wants to play with them or wants their help).

NuffSaidSam · 08/10/2024 23:11

I'd have maybe wondered why she wasn't at school/was she infectious, but otherwise nothing. Six is plenty old enough to play independently at softplay.

Original poster
Whatwilltomorrowhold · 08/10/2024 23:13

@Cobblersorchard Something dodgy going on??

OP posts:
Dramatic · 08/10/2024 23:13

It wouldn't occur to me to follow a 6yo round at soft play so I wouldn't have given it a second though. By that age mine were all much faster than me in those places so it would have been pointless me trying to follow them

Original poster
Whatwilltomorrowhold · 08/10/2024 23:14

@NuffSaidSam That’s true, I used to wonder that in playgrounds when Dd was little and older ones were there in school time. I think that’s what felt so weird? being there in school time, like we were skiving 😂it’s been so long

OP posts:
Clumsy12345 · 08/10/2024 23:15

what an odd thread, i doubt anyone noticed you or cared. i did judge a mum today on the bus who let her toddler scream the bus down whilst she sat playing on her phone ignoring him but this is a different situation

Original poster
Whatwilltomorrowhold · 08/10/2024 23:16

@Dramatic Or even if I should be interacting with her more? I suppose if it was a weekend and a larger mix of kids ages and parents, there would have been more tables full of parents drinking coffees, on their phone

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatwilltomorrowhold · 08/10/2024 23:16

@Clumsy12345 Not really an odd thread…

OP posts:
SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 08/10/2024 23:21

You don't have to behave the same as everyone else and could go mad worrying about what everyone thinks of you!! You knew your DD was fine and enjoying herself, and that's good enough.

naemates · 08/10/2024 23:22

Cannot wait for coffee and phone time at soft play! DS is only two so some time still to go...