What would you have thought of me at soft play today

[Whatwilltomorrowhold]

As a parent?

Dd is 6 and in school, but had a Drs appointment today that ended around 2.30. She was then hungry and there was no time to go back to school.
A new ball pool type place has opened nearby and she’s been asking to go to it. We went and she was really happy to be running around, going down slides etc.
The few kids there were under 4, Dd chatted to a few and helped some little ones, but was happy climbing and doing her own thing, The other parents were all following their kids around and I sat more or less the whole time, with a coffee and on my phone. I obviously engaged with Dd, got us snacks and drinks and I went to look at the slides she was on/took a few pics of her.
What would you have thought of me? Just sat on my phone? Just felt a bit self conscious, but Dd really doesn’t need or want me following her around a place like that.

honestly probably wouldn't have even noticed you as busy watching my kid. I rarely notice other parents. If i did i'd probably just think "phew there is light at the end of this exhausting tunnel when i too can just sit and enjoy".

Saying that i usually see loads of parents sitting around in the soft play when their kids are slightly older. as long as your kid is behaving themselves and you can see/hear them at all times i don't see an issue. I often take my nearly three year old with my niece or nephew (8 and 9) who run round with her. they all have a blast, they're both well behaved kids and i could hear them if they called for me or cried etc. They often end up helping the other little ones up the stairs etc too. But they constantly beg me to take them to soft play with her so clearly enjoy it.

I had a similar toddler. He's over cautious now at 10, which seems so strange when I remember following him round up onto the big slide over and over before he was even 10.

If I thought about you OP it would have probably been in the context of wishing I could sit down too.

In most soft play places we went to when DDs were small you couldn't even see where your kids were on the equipment most of the time. You couldn't really supervise them if you wanted to. I remember when they were little I had to go up with them (and seriously worry about getting stuck somewhere 😅) but once they got to school age they were definitely ok on all the equipment. I'd just get a coffee and read, and obviously they knew where I was. Rounding them up to go home was always interesting!

As a parent to a 3 year old and a 1 year old I would have been jealous! And counting down the days until that will be me! Haha

As long as she wasn't in the toddler section that would have been fine. I don't really want to talk to random big kids in the baby section or worry about their "help".

What you might think is being helpful of your child with the other kids and their parents, might have actually been annoying for them.

You have no idea their backstory and they might not have wanted a 6 year old involving themselves in their group.

I absolutely wouldn't judge a Mum to be sitting there having a coffee etc but, i also wouldn't perhaps wanted a random kid to join me and my family whilst the parent was on the phone etc.

I wouldn't have thought anything. I let mine go round on their own before the age of 6 as they were capable on their own.

Absolutely fine, soft play encourages children to play, share, communicate etc, not all kids need to be followed around.

But, she is only 6. She is still so young and maybe she would like it if you watched her and interacted with her.

DD2 in particular was quite fearless and also very physically able (and tall, so could reach everything) from a young age.

I remember going down one of those wavy slides side by side with her when she was still a baby really, holding hands but not considering the laws of physics, and that my descent would be a lot faster, then panicking "Shit! Shit!" because I was going so fast and having to let go because she was going sideways, and us both landing in a heap at the bottom. DD2 laughing her head off, parents standing there patiently waiting for their kids to come down rolling their eyes. Not my finest moment.

If I was the parent of one of the small children your DD was helping, I would have thought that you are bringing up a lovely, kind little girl. Nothing more beyond that. I only get annoyed at parents who sit back when they have children who do not behave unsupervised.

Incidentally, I had the opposite situation to you a few years back. I took 2YO DC1 to a soft play one morning and it was the first time we had gone out alone since DC2 was born 6-7 months before. It was preschool session so all children under 4 but I was the only parent on the equipment with my child. All the rest were sitting and having a coffee. I did wonder what they must have thought of me but it was much needed 121 time with my DC and I refused to let the idea of them watching stop me.

What home schooling would you expect a parent to do in a soft play area? Free play and exercise is good for kids. A 6 year old doesn't need a parent hovering over them teaching them things while running round a soft play area.

My youngest is 7. If he goes to soft play I sit at the table with a coffee. I just get up every once in a while to make sure I know where he is. I stopped following them around when they were about 4.

I'd have thought they were living the dream 😂

I also probably would have wondered whether she was infectious and that was why she's not in school.

But I certainly wouldn't judge you for having a 6 year old who seemed happy to play independently.

I'm also finding the homeschooling comments odd. what's wrong with a homeschooled kid going to a play centre during school hours? I would assume homeschooled children have very different schedules, that's one of the reasons to do it.

I wouldn't think anything of it if your child was behaving themselves. My DC are 3 & 6 and one of the best things about this age is that they now feel confident enough to run round soft play by themselves and I can sit down with a coffee and my book/phone. I intervene if one of them is upset or isn't behaving very nicely but otherwise, enjoy your coffee!

@Bellaboo01 It’s ok, she wasn’t pushing herself into their group 🙄 She just picked things up or showed the little toddlers things, when they came walking up to her. Sadly, she doesn’t have any siblings, it was nice for me to see that. I did interact with her, but can’t go into the ball pit or down the slide can I.

I also don’t understand what would be wrong with a homeschooled child being there. I have a couple of friends who homeschool for various reasons and they often go to parks, okay places etc after the school work for the day is done

Absolutely!
I don't home school (yet...) but two of the benefits of it are (1) not being stuck to school hours/holidays, but going with your own schedule (2) when learning is one to one or in tiny groups then far more can be achieved in a shorter time. It's entirely possible for a home schooled child to learn enough in a few hours in the morning to have extra time to play in the afternoon. It's about what you learn, not the hours put in.

I'd have thought nothing much. If someone pressed me I'd have said it's great that your DD is confident enough to go off and zoom around, and great that you give her the space and time to do that.

Lots of parents hover at soft play, sometimes they have no choice, but adults in the play frame directing and protecting DOES change the dynamic and remove some opportunities for kids to explore and negotiate and rub up against other kids, get a bit lost and find their way back again, etc.

If you don't need to be on top of her you shouldn't be, that's healthy.

I'd have thought perhaps you're busy with work or just relaxing and that you deserve to be able to. It's a very modern idea that parents must be engaged in play at the soft play centre or playground just like the kids!

It's soft play, it's not really a "spend quality time with your DC" kind of place, it's a "let the kids play uninterrupted" place.

Besides, I don't think a 6yo would have let her mum sit quietly over a coffee if she wanted her to play.

But wouldn’t the train of thought also go to- maybe her school finished earlier today, maybe it was a teacher training day, maybe she’s just been to the dentist/optician/routine appointment, maybe she’s home-schooled and this is play time/exercise time, maybe she’s homeschooled and finished all of her work for the day considering it’s the afternoon.

As long as you knew exactly whst your daughter was up to that's fine. I hate it when I'm in soft play and I aquire someone else's kid to follow me about.

I also hate older girls that try and mother my toddlers in soft play.

Oh and children that are too big to be in there that rave sound sending small kids flying.

I'm a bit bitter on soft play behaviour on reflection 🤣

🙄

I didnt say it needed to be "quality time" but, i suggested watching your child and interacting with them whilst they are playing is good. Much nicer for a child to look over and see her Mum looking and smiling at her rather than immersed on the phone.