What would you have thought of me at soft play today

[Whatwilltomorrowhold]

As a parent?

Dd is 6 and in school, but had a Drs appointment today that ended around 2.30. She was then hungry and there was no time to go back to school.
A new ball pool type place has opened nearby and she’s been asking to go to it. We went and she was really happy to be running around, going down slides etc.
The few kids there were under 4, Dd chatted to a few and helped some little ones, but was happy climbing and doing her own thing, The other parents were all following their kids around and I sat more or less the whole time, with a coffee and on my phone. I obviously engaged with Dd, got us snacks and drinks and I went to look at the slides she was on/took a few pics of her.
What would you have thought of me? Just sat on my phone? Just felt a bit self conscious, but Dd really doesn’t need or want me following her around a place like that.

@naemates But then you kind of miss the old days…motherhood is messed up!

Sometimes they need to interact with their parents, sometimes they need to interact with their peers. Soft play is definitely the latter!

I wouldn’t have noticed you, I would have been busy with my head in a book as my dc are also older. We home ed and from my experience it isn’t that unusual to se older dc at soft play in the day.

I wouldn’t have judged you, mines 4, I let them go round wacky warehouse slides and ball pit by themselves, it’s too knackering and I tried the slide once and got stuck! I think most parents sit and watch

My train of thought would be….

1. why isn’t she in school
2. she better not be ill
3. maybe she’s home schooled
4. the mum isn’t doing much home schooling whilst on her phone, drinking coffee

@Moveoverdarlin Just shows how wrong people can be and not to judge when you don’t know someone’s life.

I think people will only judge if your child is running amok and generally being mean to the younger kids. If they were genuinely playing nicely I doubt anyone would have noticed or cared.

I wouldn't think anything of it. I sometimes take the kids soft play places on teacher training days and there are no other school aged kids there.

I don't follow my 6 year old round and haven't for a couple of years!

Toddlers need more supervision.

I let my kid do his own thing, unless he asks me to join in.
He’s four, and always makes new pals wherever he goes.

Really? there always one isn't there!

OP, four a prime age to let your child have a bit of freedom in soft play. I took my DD to soft play on Monday and was jealous watching the parents able to sit down and drink their coffees.

When my kid went to soft plays, I'd take my phone and earphones. She'd run off and play, I'd sit somewhere out the way with music on and my phone.

So you are me.

I bet a great many people are exactly the same.
So if anyone noticed you, I doubt anyone would think anything.

There might be 1 sanctimonious arse with their head up their rectum that would tut or roll their eyes etc, but fuck em. What random people think of me is none of my concern.

I know what you mean, OP. There's a soft play type of place we go to on holiday where it's actually expected parents will sit and have some time to themselves (sofas along the walls, free magazines to leaf through etc) while their kids play and when DC was younger, I was the weird one for interacting with them.

If your DC was well-behaved and being careful of the smaller kids then I wouldn't have given you a second thought.

I don’t think I would have noticed you honestly! As long as you checked up on DD every so often.

I might have wondered why she wasn't at school, but nothing more than mild curiosity. I'm certainly not chasing my almost 6 year old around the soft play anymore!

Yes, I’d do a quick mental check that things looked normal. As I said, I once saw an adult with a child that was in the news as a missing person. I’m a Safeguarding lead, I do a quick mental tally that there’s nothing suggesting anything amiss.

I'd have been jealous 😂 mine are both under 3 - no phone and coffee for me yet!

I’d be jealous chasing my 18 month old

It is a bit. You're asking if anyone would judge you for entirely ordinary and unremarkable behaviour. It's like asking if anyone would judge you because you were the only drinking a soft drink instead of coffee, or wearing a green jumper instead of a blue one. Nobody would notice because there's nothing to notice.

If anyone’s thinking anything, it’s probably “I can’t wait until I can do that!”

I take my 12 and 9 yo to soft play fairly frequently. I go so I can have a break from interacting with them. It's not a bad thing for them to learn some independence and entertain themselves!

I home ed mine, so it's a bit full on. I've been criticised for being on my phone at the park too. Fuck them.

Well I probably would look at you and think "I can't wait until my DC can play independently".

Other than that I wouldn't think anything. If you feel self-conscious though I find having a book in your bag is really useful, reading a book feels more relaxing and "me-time" rather than scrolling on your phone too and tends to be perceived differently.

I used to go to parties at soft play and all the mothers would watch the kids and chat over a coffee.....I would order myself a meal and eat in peace while DS was running around wearing himself out - he would come to me if he needed anything - did this between the ages of say 6 - 9 until they became too old

Six is the magic age where they suddenly don’t always need 100% of your attention and can mostly avoid killing themselves in soft play, I’d have been jealous if I was there with my then toddler DS!

I probably wouldn’t have noticed OP because I have a school aged child and this is what I do whenever we go to a soft play. I tend to sit and read a book and if he needs me, he comes back to me. You don’t need to hover over your kids the whole time once they’re old enough to run off and play

I wouldn't have given it a minute's thought.