To feel rubbish about this - breastfeeding groups

[Fiftycents]

I go to a local mother and baby group, it’s very casual and usually friendly. Made quite a few friends there.

Before the mother and baby group there is a breastfeeding group, there is a 30 min gap between the two but some mums stay on for the baby group.

Went to baby group as normal yesterday and about halfway through a lady stood up and announced some ‘good news’ and proceeded to hand out certificates for some breastfeeding mums, for 6 weeks and 3 months breastfeeding. We were then all asked to give them a round of applause for all they had achieved.

AIBU to think this is a insensitive to those that wanted to breastfeed but couldn’t? I tried for weeks to bf dd, we saw multiple lactation consultants, had tongue tie cut tried nipple shields etc but as she spent time in SCBU after she was born and was tiny she had always had formula and I ended up switching as she wouldn’t latch at all. I stopped expressing after 2 months as my own mental health was suffering.

YANBU - it was insensitive and they could have just waited for the next week to give out certificates
YABU - get over it

Shouldn't be happening at a general baby group, no. The round of applause is cringeworthy.

That’s just odd frankly.

And I say this as someone who breastfed her youngest until she was 3/ex-midwife/health visitor 😂

I think it was a bit weird that they gave it out in the M and B group and not the BF group. I would hate to have been given a round of applause for breast feeding <cringe>.

I presume the lady is part of the breastfeeding group. She said she had forgotten to give the certificates earlier on.

I think 'certificates' for anything (other than professional or academic qualifications) are a bit naff and pointless beyond year 1 sports day, so yes, this is slightly bonkers. What goes on in bf group should stay in bf group.

Should’ve been done in bf group if at all! I bf for extended time and a cert is really odd in general.

Well you don’t know what struggles they may have/have had? Maybe they need the encouragement? It’s like being offended by the olympics or something?!! Just because I can’t run and I’m fat I’m not getting offended when athletes get medals and applause and we all have bodies so should be capable of the same things we just aren’t ! You need to be less sensitive

I’d have been mortified if I’d got a round of applause and a certificate for feeding my baby 😬

This would have gotten my goat too, and I would have spoken with her about it - the toxicity of guilting mums who cannot breastfeed for any reason (I couldn't due to needing life-saving medication for a long time following a traumatic birth) needs eradicating. It's insensitive, unnecessary, and could have waited til the following dedicated group session or, if it was very, very important to get certificates to these women then she could have posted them.

It’s a bit naff but someone getting a certificate for whatever doesn’t make me feel bad personally.

It's just so cringy. I'd have felt massively patronised if someone gave me a certificate. There was someone on the radio a while ago talking about how she has cards printed saying congratulations on breastfeeding and would go round cafes etc handing them out. She'd have got short shrift from me if she'd dropped one on my table.

Christ that's odd all round, never mind at the baby group. I breastfeed DS but I certainly don't want or need a certificate for it! How bizarre

I understand not everyone can get a certificate for everything but feel breastfeeding is quite an emotive topic particularly in a room full of newish mothers. Unlike not getting a certificate for the olympics or playing the piano etc there is (to me) the undertone that you’re not doing the best thing for your child if you don’t bf.

I get where you're coming from but honestly, certificates for breastfeeding is so ridiculous I'd try to laugh it off. Plenty of the women getting them were probably embarrassed if anything

I understand not everyone can get a certificate for everything but feel breastfeeding is quite an emotive topic particularly in a room full of newish mothers. Unlike not getting a certificate for the olympics or playing the piano etc there is (to me) the undertone that you’re not doing the best thing for your child if you don’t bf.

So if they didn’t get a certificate would you have felt better?

I think it’s silly tbh. Someone getting praise or feeling proud of something doesn’t mean it’s putting you down.

Well the scientific fact is that that breastmilk is the optimal way to feed a baby. People think formula is so inferior but it’s actually a really close second. It’s not the best but it’s not the worst it’s not as if the choices are breast milk or gravy ! Breastfeeding has protective factors that can’t be replicated in formula but it’s not anything that will
have a long term detrimental effect from not having so don’t worry about it! It’s like two mum feeding their toddlers fruit - one has an organic apple the other a regular one - one is very slightly better but the difference long term is negligible there’s hardly anything in it. If anyone judges you they are just an idiot !

@Fiftycents fed is best. I say this as a mother who breastfed three of her children. Did it make me the perfect mother? No. Do I know perfectly healthy, thriving, academic children who were bottle fed? Absolutely! Breastfeeding your infant can be great when it works but it’s not a shortcut to moral superiority.

Im all for participation medals (ir certificates in thist case) but I’m so fed up of the constant division between breastfeeding and bottle feeding. My oldest is almost 23 (years, not months) and I thought we’d have come together by now.

I don’t know about insensitive, but it’s incredibly cringey. I breastfed for an extended period with both of my children, and I would be beyond mortified to be given a certificate.

I don’t really see the problem with the certificates themselves. At a breastfeeding support group many of the women will have had struggles breastfeeding as well and will have worked hard to keep going. I think it’s fine to celebrate that. Though I do think it was a bit odd to hand them out at a general baby group. If she’d forgotten she should have waited for the next breastfeeding group.

Agree