Aggressive child and parents don’t seem to care

103 replies

Herewegoagain5 · 08/10/2024 15:20

I mind 3 children in my home part time, the three of them have been the sweetest kids, they are not related but I have been minding them for just over a year.

one has now become very aggressive, throwing toys at walls and the other kids, kicking them, hitting them.

he doesn’t listen when I tell him to stop, throws a tantrum if I remove him for the situation.

I have told his parents each time at collection and their response is oh that’s not nice but we do try to encourage gentle hands!!

it’s not working and they don’t believe in time out and asked me not to do it but he’s now becoming a danger to the other kids as he kicked one in the head yesterday as she lay on the ground playing with dolls

they are all 2

AIBU to say I can’t mind him anymore unless I can punish him (time out)

OP posts:

Soonenough · 08/10/2024 22:49

I think it is absolutely ridiculous to think that the OP has any obligation to do any thing on the scale @DefyingDepravity is suggesting . She is a childminder not a child psychologist or the child's parents. Considering the relatively low wage and the high demand for childcare why would she persevere with a child whose parents are unwilling to address the issues. I would just give them notice . No explanation needed as she actually doesn't have any moral obligation as @DefyingDepravity stated. But she does have an obligation to the other kids to keep them safe from harm.

OhDearMuriel · 08/10/2024 23:03

I would get rid of him as he is a great danger to the other kids.

Kicking a little 2 year old in the head is not on. Ever.

She could have suffered a brain injury

His parents sound utterly crap. I wonder what they would do/think if their little darling got kicked in the head??

Dramatic · 08/10/2024 23:41

Goldbar · 08/10/2024 20:08

I think 2 is definitely old enough for a firm "No, don't throw those blocks please. We don't throw blocks because we might hurt our friends'. Followed by a sharper "No, the blocks are not for throwing please. If you throw the blocks again, they will be put away". Then if the bad behaviour is repeated, follow through with the consequence - in this case, removing the blocks. For an older toddler (nearer 3 than 1), I would also make them come and sit next to me for a couple of minutes to help them 'remember' to play nicely.

The reality is that carers in communal childcare settings don't have the time or resources reliably to predict or avoid everything that will trigger individual children. The children need to understand, fairly quickly, that certain behaviour is unacceptable, both for their own safety and the safety of the other children. I am far from being a dragon of a parent and would actually put myself at the indulgent end of the spectrum, but childcare with other children is unsuitable imo for parents who do not ever want their children to hear the word 'no' or face consequences for their actions. They'd do better to hire a nanny, if they can find one who is willing to bleat 'gentle hands' when hit in the face with a wooden shape-sorter!

Absolutely agree with all of this, there has to be a hard boundary where violent behaviour is concerned and "gentle hands" just doesn't cut it. They have to understand that it is never acceptable and that can mean a harsher consequence than what he might receive at home, particularly since at home it's only going to be his parents on the receiving end of it whereas in OPs home it is other unrelated children whose parents have entrusted with OP.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread