Aibu to be so irritated by this boy

[Thirdusername]

I can't work out if this boy is rude or if I'm tired.

I have 2 dc - age 2 and 5. I'm a single parent who works full time but with one afternoon off a week which I spend looking after a neighbour's son. My neighbour looks after my eldest dc in return once a week.

The boy asks for things a lot of the time which i find quite demanding but not sure if im being unfair.

For eg:

Him: What's for dinner?
Me: chicken and rice (I know he likes this / eats this)
Him: can I have something else instead?
Me: you can have some bread/ fruit but that's what we've got for dinner
Him: thats a shame. Can't you make fish fingers instead please?
Me: no not tonight, maybe next time
Him: can I have the spiderman plate pls?
Me: yes
Him: can I have that paw patrol cup please
Him: actually can I have that plate instead
Me: yep
Him: can you put on some music?
Me: yep (puts music on)
Him: Is there any more food?
Me: yep extra rice but no more chicken
Him: I wish I could have extra chicken. Do you think your dc will eat all theirs? I wish I had theirs
Me: there's lots of other food you can have
Him: no, I only want chicken. What's for dessert?
Me: yoghurt
Him: can we have those biscuits instead / can I go in the garden / can you get that toy down from the shelf / can I do painting/ can I have an ice cream / can I borrow some clothes and get changed / can you fold 10 bits of paper up / can you get some scissors

Etc etc.

I've usually got a lot of tolerance for kids. So I don't know why this gets to me so much! He sometimes says please and thank you, sometimes not.

Ps should add I hope he has no idea / think I do a good job of hiding it

Yabu: he's a kid and you're being unfair on him

Yanbu: he Sounds a bit entitled/ demanding

How old is he?

He sounds like he sees you as a second mum? He sounds very comfortable in your home. And he does say please and thank you right so I don't think he sounds "rude" just a bit straight forward and honest.

Just be polite and consistent, firm but fair.

How old is he?

I would also find that irritating but I'd also assume that he's either testing boundaries as he is somewhere different to home or he's pandered to more at home. Neither of which are his fault as such. Just have a strategy on hand for that afternoon with what to do to keep them all occupied!

Nothing wrong with suggesting a please here and there. "What's the magic word?"

Or "Your food is already on the spiderman plate."

He does sound a little too comfortable in your home, enforce some boundaries and stick to them if you don't want him doing crafts, playing in your garden, etc. "No we're not having paints out.. I can't fold paper for you."

Sorry he's 6

That would drive me up the wall, he sounds really annoying

Well that sure sounds like a six year old. I'd say he feels comfortable in your house and so is badgering you as if you're a parent rather than being on his best behaviour. I certainly wouldn't mind you reminding mine to use their pleases and thank yous and ask nicely etc, so unless the parents would be weird I think it's fine to correct him as you would your own.

I feel a bit sorry for him and his mum that you've posted about him. He hasn't done anything wrong and is clearly very polite.

It is good that he is comfortable around you. I disagree that he is “too comfortable” or sees you as a substitute mother. I baby sat for years and this is how 6 yr olds are. Nonstop questions. He actually sounds really adorable as he is asking questions politely.

What an odd thing to say

That would both drive me up the wall, and impress me at his confidence. None of it is rude, if a bit lacking in please-and-thank-you. It’s great if kids have the confidence to talk to other adults and express their needs (or annoying whims).

I am also annoyed by the ones who go completely silent and wide-eyed in panic when you ask if they want ketchup or do they like peas.

The boy asks for things a lot of the time which i find quite demanding but not sure if im being unfair.

He is being polite! Would you rather he just took what he wanted? Helped himself to scissors, ice cream, clothes?

My son is very much like this. Talks a lot and seeks a lot of engagement and asks a lot of questions.

He sounds quite polite, if I'm honest, and he's only 6. But you're not unreasonable to find it irritating – I find my son quite irritating for this reason too!

He's testing your boundaries

That's all

Yes you’re tired and yes he’s annoying, but he’s only 6. It’ll be good for him to learn your boundaries asap. Good luck

I think it's cute. My DC is really shy and wouldn't ask anything, I like when his chatty friends come round.

It sounds like his mum gives him a lot of choices all the time, and he expects the same from you. He also like to talk and engage you, which is good. Try to turn it around a bit. Let him know what's on the menu, but there are no changes, and maybe ask him about his day or what game or cartoon he likes to watch.

Quite right!

This line from a previous post "He does sound a little too comfortable in your home feels unbelievably mean.

I agree on one hand I am hugely impressed as his ability to ask for what he needs and think it will serve him well in life.

He sounds like a young primary aged child who doesn’t have any siblings.

Kids are all different. He sounds a bit like my dd (same age). She tries to keep me engaged by asking/ telling me stuff a lot. But I’m used to it and I know how to deal with it. It can still be tiring sometimes though. There are often really good qualities that go with this personality type that balance it out, but that’s when they’re your own kid. But I don’t think he sounds rude, no and “entitled” (even “a bit”) is ridiculous, he’s six years old. Sounds like you just don’t want to look after him, maybe you think you’re getting the raw end of the deal? She might feel similar about yours though. I find any other kids harder to deal with than my own and I think a lot of people are the same.

If someone felt the way you do about my child I wouldn’t want them in your company as life’s too short.

Im a “child” person so it wouldn’t bother me and be very little effort gently l steer if I thought manners could be improved. I couldn’t find it irritating as he’s still very little and learning.

Sounds slightly annoying but you do get childcare in return so I think I'd suck it up. Maybe pre-empt his questions by laying out how the afternoon will go " so Jack, dinner will be spag bol, you and (your dc) can play in the garden for 15 mins until its ready, if you want to get the paints/scissors glue out, you can do that when the table has been cleared after dinner, all good?" He will probably still mither you a bit but it sounds like he likes to know what's next.

Why is that so odd? The op and her neighbour have a childcare swap arrangement? Im assuming she wouldn't like her dd being posted about? This child is only 6 and hasn't done anything wrong. I think you finding my comment so odd, is odd!

Annoying but cute at the same time. I think it's fine to show exasperation and just tell him to be quiet and eat/play/whatver he's supposed to be doing.