How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?

[Allthegoodnamesaregonegone]

When you don’t live in London and have very average expenses?

for arguments sake, I googled and saw the average mortgage is £1400
average heating for 4/5 people is £200 a month (British Gas website)

assume no ‘bad debts’ and no private school

id love another kid, if possible, but I do see on here often on the cost of a third and that being a large factor, so I’d like to understand what is the amount people think you need to earn pre tax to live comfortably with 3.

^ I think I worked out my childcare costs for 3 and posted it it’s around £500

Yes you could get a nanny for just 3 days a week to take the heat off. What you have described sounds quite insanely manic. What time does wrap around care finish at school for reception and year ?

Presume you and / or wfh?

, it’s 4 bed but we wfh, so we’d some creativity and then likely have to move.

you both work from home? And has 1 double 1 small double and 2 singles?

where would the two of you work?

Is it?

we work condensed hours and a family member helps once a week?
I feel a nanny would be waaay more expensive than £500 a month

We have a conservatory, at the mo we use the double as a spare/ office but that could be moved to the conservatory

If I were you op, I’d start a thread asking for input from parents of 3 nursery and school aged where both work full time.

I am a mum of 3, and honestly - I genuinely can’t think of anyone who has consistently worked full time along with their partner and 3 very young children. Unless the one I recall that had a nanny

And I have known a lot! We tend to gravitate towards each other!

I fear that’s cart before horse as I’m not pregnant, I know that I’ll go back to work FT, I know a few ladies that have 3 and work FT. Helped tremendously by a wfh DH and wfh in my job 50% of the week and one site for drop off and collection

I wonder how school holidays would work with you both wfh

Why did you change from 9/10 days and 1 day in lieu? You said that worked really well

We changed back because we don’t need it anymore the kids both do school hours with school nursery, so we just finish early now one day a week each to get them

so how it’s worked this year and how it would work going forward DH has 38 days AL and I 30, we use that for school hols and our hols, but for school hols only one takes it off. Then we use summer club for 2 weeks in the summer. The rest were able to manage. It’s worked quite well. Still kept a few days back for emergencies

as i say, in your shoes, I would start a thread asking for experiences of full time working parents WFH with 3 very young children.

What you describe sounds doable but hectic, rushed and a bit fraught. Especially when so little.. they get home utterly pooped and often want to talk, share, play with YOU.

Anyway good luck but please do start a logistical thread!

It’s what we did with two, is what it is, maybe I will start a logistical thread but I’m not sure what it would tell me, as I know the routine we had for 2 and it would be the same

On the basis of this post alone, I really do hope you do start a thread

Probably 4k+ and that's not accounting for holidays and any unexpected costs. Their hobbies etc. also add another cost

perhaps I will if / when I do conceive again

we’d put the youngest in 3x a week, a family member would watch the youngest at our house one day, eldest would be in wrap 3 days and we’d take 30 mins out in the day to collect the older two and the family member would supervise til 5, and then 9 in 10 for both of us to have a lieu day.

so youngest in nursery 3x a week (what hours?) then family member at your house with youngest 1 day a week whilst both you and husband work in the conservatory.

and then!

Eldest 2 in after school care 3x a week (what time does this finish?) and then you or husband take a 30 minute break to collect and then family member entertains all 3 children whilst you and your husband carry on working in the conservatory.

you can’t seriously think that is going to work

And wow…. Does that family member know that you have lined up for them.

How the heck do you think you’ll work op with both of you in the conservatory and a family member plus a baby plus 2 young primary aged children.

I am the mother of 3 and I can tell you right now…. This says disaster written all over it!!

It worked before.

after school club finished 6pm.

one day a week my mum/ MIL would gladly watch my kids. They constantly offer, tbh my mum would do the school run too. Neither of them work.

maybe we’d need to use the dresser in our bedroom when the kids are back as a wfh space for the last hr of the day. Or there might need to be some room sharing for a bit. The logistics on that one day aren’t really a concern it worked before. I guess if it is SO much of a trouble we’d ask to do 4 in 5 through work each so we both have one lieu day a week rather than every other week

As well as worrying about holidays - you should consider how you would cope if you had to go down to one salary if sadly the 3rd DC had significant disabilities and one of you was required to become a full time carer or the 3rd became twins so you actually have 4 DC. Both of these scenarios are entirely possible - what would that do to your finances / quality of living for you , DH and existing DC ?

I’m not worried about twins.

we have insurance for us, through work (both of) that would pay off the mortgage in light of a disability that requires care for us or our dependents, the policy includes congenital conditions.

Can you do it financially? Sure on the basis of no private ed, the holidays you take and fact you’re not looking to move.

Could I do it? No

but even putting aside finances… what you describe sounds hectic, tiring and stressful. You don’t already do it op. Because you don’t have 3 kids! The idea of working full time in the conservatory along sharing with my husband … and then in the Lounge I hear my family member with my baby and then run for school pick up, walk back in and immediately have to leave the kids to return to the conservatory… well it sounds bloomin awful. And prob why all my friends with 3 are either SAHMs or work part time (or one works full time
but husband is SAHD). Me? I went part time and then SAHM and now back part time that my youngest (of 3) is 12. What you describe sounds financially and logistically possible.

but whether it sounds pleasant for either you, your husband or any of the kids? Well no

And you have ivf included in your work too?

wow… that’s great benefit for pretty modest paying roles

last year I earned £60k and my husband £70k (bolstered through bonuses) his base is 60 and mine 55k not sure they are ‘modest’ but I guess it depends on your definition.

my husbands company is fantastic for benefits. I won’t give the name away but it’s in finance, 6 months pat leave , 38 days annual leave, 12x salary LI, cic and disability and non underwritten health insurance (meaning it covers pre existing conditions as well as ivf) they even do free meals at work. And it’s for all employees from contact centre staff to exco. 14% pension, car scheme and big bonuses. I shared the policy docs I think on the thread.

mine less amazing but still better than the average, 14% pension, 30 days al, policies are smaller and my health insurance is a co pay one where for hubs, he pays £30 and covers the whole family