To not want to be called a cunt when I'm chatting to my dog?

[Limth]

There is a woman living on the street parallel to me who has psychosis. We're in Victorian terraces so out back gates back on to each other.

She hears voices, she sees things and she has paranoia. Last summer she spent a lot of time in her back yard shouting awful things at the top of he voice. Police, social services, family, mental health team all got involved. They got her medication under control and things calmed down a bit.

Although she is often still in her yard swearing and making threats, the agencies seem to think it's sorted. As good as its going to get basically.

But 9/10 times that I take my dog out, she's outside up to her shenanigans. If you make a noise or say anything, she responds to that. Her social worker told another neighbour to essentially keep noise to a minimum in the back lane so not to start her off 🙄

The trouble is that my dog's almost blind and relies on us talking to know where we are, what she's meant to do and that everything is okay. So I can't keep quiet (aside from the question of why should I). Don't get me wrong, I'm not yelling at the dog, just talking in a normal voice. But the woman reacts. I've just been called a smelly cunt, a whorebag, and told that I should die in my sleep tonight. Nice.

None of the relevant agencies seem bothered. I feel sorry for the woman because she clearly needs help. There are a few houses along the road with young kids and I know one of the mums doesn't let her kids play in their back yard because of the abuse from the woman over the way.

Not sure what I'm expecting by posting here really. Just have no idea what to do.

Sorry, that's so long.

TLDR: Neighbour with mental health problems shouts abuse every time anyone makes a sound outside. Agencies don't care. What can I do?

It’s a horrible situation for all of you but personally I think I would deal with this as I would do with anyone verbally harassing you and I’d report it to 101 every single time. It may be that they have to reach a threshold of evidence before they do anything. No one should have to live with someone calling them a cunt - and I say that as someone who is married to a dh with severe mental health difficulties and a Mum that had schizophrenia.

What can you do? I would say nothing .

This woman is unwell

What can you do? Not a lot as it sounds like all the relevant agencies have done what they can reasonably do.

Maybe take your dog for a walk out the front door rather than back gate. Ignore her as you know it isn't personal. Thank your lucky stars you dont have the same illness as her.

I know you shouldnt have to but can you go in and out of your front door instead so as to avoid her?

We have a woman like this across from us. She is always shouting at folk up and down the street and tourists who obviously don't know her don't know to turn a blind eye. Some engage and make it worse.

If I smile and wave she is actually very pleasant. She can hold a "normal" conversation but if she isn't engaged, then she is swearing etc.

Have you tried saying hello in passing?

You're not in a ne Scottish town are you? Your summary is 100% accurate to where I live!

Do nothing? So, where do this woman's actions become problematic, and worthy of action, in your view?

Or does she have free reign to do exactly as she pleases because she's unwell?

What can you do? We used to have a similar neighbour. We were towards the end of the street so her garden was at a right angle to ours. She would stand out there and shout about how everyone could get to fuck and the police were out to get her etc. I just ignored her. It only lasted half an hour or so and was never a big problem.

Sorry I should've said - I can't take the dog out front because we have really steep steps up to the front door. As well as being blind (so can't see the steps), she also has bad hips (so can't actually walk up/down steps).
I can't carry her up/down the steps because it hurts her hips and she's a bit too big. I worry I'd fall and break my neck.

Knowing that psychosis is uncontrollable, and the woman is likely saying to what she thinks she is hearing/seeing so is not fully in reality. None of what she says is directed at you, so why are you letting this bother you? She isn’t calling you names, she likely thinks part of her garden fence is alive and she is telling it off.

All you can do is move or wait for her to die or go into care. She’s not going to change.

A fee neighbours tried being friendly with her and saying "hello". It did not work. At all. All our yards are separated by 6ft fences so you can't actually make eye contact

Not in Scotland

It's difficult. The woman on our street doesn't take her meds. I guess it can't be enforced but it does cause a lot of anti social issues

Neighbour with mental health problems shouts abuse every time anyone makes a sound outside. Agencies don't care. What can I do?

You just carry on with your walk and your life and remind yourself that we have to share the world with all types of people , unless you move away somewhere with no neighbours..

It’s difficult as she’s clearly very unwell, if she was well and saying these things, you could rightly be outraged, but she likely has zero control over what she’s saying. I know it isn’t nice for you, but it’s just as horrible for her. My DP’s auntie has paranoid schizophrenia and is the loveliest woman on the planet when she is well; when she is unwell, she is totally unrecognisable.

No winners here, I’m afraid.

I understand the woman is unwell but my feeling is if it is impossible for you to ignore what she is saying to you then you should report her abusive language every time it happens. I can't believe that there isn't some medication that can help her and modify her behaviour.
You, and your other neighbours have rights too.
You have to look after the welfare of your dog. And you have a right to go about your normal day to day life without being abused.
Horrible situation for all concerned.

My mum was a paranoid schizoprhenic. She used to sit on the outside toilet with her knickers down, the door open and talking to her voices. Neighbours constantly called the police, nothing happened but it was very stressful for us kids having the police around all the time. Your poor woman has a horrible illness and probably an awful life - be supportive if you can.

What can the agencies do? This isn’t bad enough to section her and lock her up. She is not going to give a shit about the police telling her off. The police arresting her isn’t going to stop her either if she is mentally ill. I assume she’s already on medication, and if she isn’t taking it, then again this wouldn’t meet the threshold for sectioning her.

We tolerate a reasonably high amount of mental illness in society before we lock people up. Thirty years ago she would have been put in an institution for the rest of her life, we don’t do that any more. This is the result.

Yes, this.

She is ill, she isn’t in control of what she is doing like none psychotic people are.

Her shouting isn’t pleasant but it isn’t actually about you @Limth , as you said, she can’t even see you over the fence.

It’s just a symptom of her illness and unless she is actually threatening you in some way then just ignore her (or if you want to help then repeatedly contact social care and keep flagging up that you think she needs help).

Could be worse...you could be her. Perhaps imagine what it is like living inside her head and it will help you to have more empathy.

I know it's difficult but I think unless she does something physical you're just going to have to ignore it.

If there's 6 foot fences and you can't even see each other and you're safe, I'd just completely ignore it. There's nothing you can do. Sounds like a difficult life for the poor woman.

Can you change your route? Can you not speak to the dog for the few seconds you are within her earshot?

I think you need to ignore and have sympathy for this poor woman. I’m sure it’s moderately unpleasant, but she’s not doing you any harm.

The threshold for intervention from agencies is VERY high. If she is not a danger to herself or others then not much can be done unless you are lucky enough to live in an area where there is good adult MH support.