To not want to be called a cunt when I'm chatting to my dog?

[Limth]

There is a woman living on the street parallel to me who has psychosis. We're in Victorian terraces so out back gates back on to each other.

She hears voices, she sees things and she has paranoia. Last summer she spent a lot of time in her back yard shouting awful things at the top of he voice. Police, social services, family, mental health team all got involved. They got her medication under control and things calmed down a bit.

Although she is often still in her yard swearing and making threats, the agencies seem to think it's sorted. As good as its going to get basically.

But 9/10 times that I take my dog out, she's outside up to her shenanigans. If you make a noise or say anything, she responds to that. Her social worker told another neighbour to essentially keep noise to a minimum in the back lane so not to start her off 🙄

The trouble is that my dog's almost blind and relies on us talking to know where we are, what she's meant to do and that everything is okay. So I can't keep quiet (aside from the question of why should I). Don't get me wrong, I'm not yelling at the dog, just talking in a normal voice. But the woman reacts. I've just been called a smelly cunt, a whorebag, and told that I should die in my sleep tonight. Nice.

None of the relevant agencies seem bothered. I feel sorry for the woman because she clearly needs help. There are a few houses along the road with young kids and I know one of the mums doesn't let her kids play in their back yard because of the abuse from the woman over the way.

Not sure what I'm expecting by posting here really. Just have no idea what to do.

I agree wholeheartedly. The reality is what became care in the community for those with severe mental illness, does the patient a disservice. As well as costing the tax payer far more with social work, police, ambulance staff and A&E having to mop up the problems when there is a crisis.

At least when they were in patients in suitable hospitals there were people there to deal with crisis issues.

In the same vein, we have seen several cases recently of people with severe mental health issues going on to commit horrific crimes. OP, I think you should carry on reporting it.

Thank you so much for all the responses.

I absolutely am empathetic. It's a horrible situation for the woman concerned. I can't even imagine what's happening in her head to make her behave this way. Awful for her.

And I do get that she's not directing her swearing and abuse at me as such. But she is reacting to people in the back lane so it could feel like it's personal if you're not used to it. That's why one of my neighbours has stopped her kids playing out in the yard - they were getting very upset because they felt like the woman in question was calling abuse to them directly.

I don't take it personally but its a horrible experience nonetheless.

Thanks to PP who suggested writing everything down and letting agencies know that she could be in danger. You're right that calling the wrong person a "cunt" over the wall could get her into all sorts of trouble.

I'm not sure what her living situation is - definitely not HA, might be private rented. Another neighbour reckons the woman is owner-occupier.

Wear headphones

I vote you don't alter your routine one bit and just ignore her outbursts. If she's psychotic, she genuinely has no control. It's not personal against you, it's just the ravings of a tortured mind. Since authorities have already been involved and she's been medicated to the extent that she doesn't pose a danger, this is probably as sane as she's going to get.
If you can't ignore it, you'll have to move as there's nothing else to be done.
It sucks, but it is what it is.

Great idea. I love listening to music on dog walks.

I don't reckon you would react in this way AT ALL if you were in this position, any more than the pious individuals telling the OP to "be kind" would if they were.

One day this woman is going to yell at someone who won't take kindly to it. I would keep reporting it but I would also wear headphones when walking my dog and just keep acting entirely as normal. If you see her, give her a wave and a big smile and say hello - she might stop, she might not, but at least you've behaved in a way you can be pleased with. I'm sorry though, it's horrible and nobody should have to put up with this.

If she is having these outbursts it is clear that she is either not taking the medication prescribed or that the medication is unsuitable. In no way should the OP have to move home. As a PP said it is the way the lady is being managed that is failing her. To ignore it and not report risks her condition getting worse.

Medication isn’t infallible. It might well be that she’s on all the meds she can be and they don’t control her behaviour fully. Or that she chooses not to take meds because of the side effects (which are pretty grim for many antipsychotics) and as she isn’t considered an danger to herself or others, she can’t be forced to. Sometimes there isn’t an answer.

She may not be a risk to herself. But her behaviour definately falls under a public order offence. Health issues are not a get out of jail free card. The only option is for her to be taken into residential care until a medication regime she can tolerate is found.

As I said previously, a seismic shift is required in how we deal with mental health. I think residential instead of care in the community needs to return.

How does that help the OP now, given that (quite rightly in my view) the bar for sectioning someone (confining them against their will) is an awful lot higher than them shouting in their garden?

Very tricky, could you take her if she wanted to fight you?

What? If someone ‘tried to fight you’
That would be assault.Which isn’t, this situation.

The bar for sectioning may be higher. The law still applies. If she is swearing and causing fear or distress then she is likely guilty of a public order offence.

Has anyone, even considered this lady might have Tourette’s syndrome?

The woman has mental health problems. It's really difficult for neighbours to put up with this. BUt the woman can't help herself. Maybe she should be in residential care.

The days of locking people up and keeping them semi comatose on Largactil are gone I'm afraid. I'm sure it was convenient for the community, but not so nice for the patients.

I think we've come a long way since then. Residential care or sheltered accommodation isn't locking people up or keeping them comatose on largactyl.

Nobody should have to be subjected to verbal abuse In their own back garden. This lady clearly needs more support and living independently needs reviewing. The various agencies are obviously hoping neighbours will just put their headphones on and accept it. They shouldn't have to

No, the various agencies can’t legally do anything to stop this happening. They can’t forcibly medicate her or force her into sheltered housing or residential accommodation if she doesn’t want to go. And there are very good reasons for that.

I’m not sure what the criteria would be for someone to go into residential care.
I understand it’s distressing for neighbours, to be shouted at, repeatedly sworn at, unless the person is deemed to be at risk to others or themselves, they wouldn’t be admitted into hospital, for mental incapacity, or placed in residential care.It has to be mentioned, due to austerity measures, residential settings are few and far between.It’s very much based on care in the community, primary care, support workers, social workers.

Thing is i can see uts difficult but if ut was me it wouldn't upset me she can't help it. I woukd just laugh and go dam right I am yiu know it and say her name. When you see her just say are you OK let her mutter under her breath. I have seen people like this ranting yo themselves its very sad but as long as she's not being violent then just laugh it off

Yes I said similar just laugh and be like ok such and such. I used to know a man who thought he was jesus he could be aggressive but if you laughed with him not at hom he was OK yo chat quickly while claiming he was jesus

Not necessarily. Medication does not cure a psychotic mental health problem, it only manages it to some degree. How helpful it is varies with the individual. As I said, this may be as sane as she gets. OP did say she has been treated and that she is better now than she was before. If she had stopped taking the meds, the former behaviour of shouting at the top of her voice all day would likely return. It sounds like she is not shouting at the top of her voice now, but is making obscene remarks. So it's entirely possible this is as good as it gets, unfortunately.

This thread is finding dissent in an empty paper bag. I think everyone agrees that this is shit for the OP, but as the neighbour is not in control of their actions and mental healthcare provision is so utterly inadequate, the prospect of finding a solution is dim.

The only real division is between those who think putting pressure on the authorities might make a difference, and those who believe it won't. I think the latter, but that doesn't make me less sympathetic to the OP. Psychosis is utter shit both for the sufferer and for those around them.

Just ignore.

Or smile and wave and say "how are you?"

Or as the previous poster said, laugh and say yes I am a cunt, never mind, eh?

You are making the mistake of taking it personally.