To not want to be called a cunt when I'm chatting to my dog?

[Limth]

There is a woman living on the street parallel to me who has psychosis. We're in Victorian terraces so out back gates back on to each other.

She hears voices, she sees things and she has paranoia. Last summer she spent a lot of time in her back yard shouting awful things at the top of he voice. Police, social services, family, mental health team all got involved. They got her medication under control and things calmed down a bit.

Although she is often still in her yard swearing and making threats, the agencies seem to think it's sorted. As good as its going to get basically.

But 9/10 times that I take my dog out, she's outside up to her shenanigans. If you make a noise or say anything, she responds to that. Her social worker told another neighbour to essentially keep noise to a minimum in the back lane so not to start her off 🙄

The trouble is that my dog's almost blind and relies on us talking to know where we are, what she's meant to do and that everything is okay. So I can't keep quiet (aside from the question of why should I). Don't get me wrong, I'm not yelling at the dog, just talking in a normal voice. But the woman reacts. I've just been called a smelly cunt, a whorebag, and told that I should die in my sleep tonight. Nice.

None of the relevant agencies seem bothered. I feel sorry for the woman because she clearly needs help. There are a few houses along the road with young kids and I know one of the mums doesn't let her kids play in their back yard because of the abuse from the woman over the way.

Not sure what I'm expecting by posting here really. Just have no idea what to do.

Yes, and a social worker cocky enough to tell neighbours to "keep it down" is going to have no hesitation in getting the police involved (they will pay attention then because that becomes a potential "assault" rather than a "mental health related call out")

Can you get nice scented flowers for your dog to be able to find a path around?

Well the Citizens Advice website advises people to report verbal abuse to the police.
At the very least it is anti social behaviour.
I understand the sympathy with this woman and her illness but OP and the other neighbours have rights too.

OP has said police have already been involved.

Unfortunately if she can’t be offered any more help then your only options are to wear headphones or earplugs, or move. You could call the police and say she’s verbally abusive or make a noise complaint to the council, but realistically there won’t be much they can do as she can’t turn her mental illness down.

I assume you would ideally like her to move out (as would I) and I assume she’s a council or HA tenant, but she needs to live somewhere and I think they would argue it’s as good a place as any. It must be quite stressful for you to have this every day. Personally I’d move as the situation won’t change

I'd suggest you put it in writing to all concerned that this lady is endangering herself and is a safeguarding risk, because it's a racing certainty that one day someone is going to react badly to her swearing at them and attack her or her house. Point out that, if that happens, you will have no hesitation in ensuring that the authorities know they were warned and did nothing about it.

Yes and she said after the intervention of the police and other agencies things calmed down.
But OP still has this problem. And the point with the police is you just have to keep reporting each incident as it happens. They only take things seriously if you keep on reporting things and the sheer volume of reports means at some point they need to intervene again. I speak from experience of reporting vandalism to my property. They only took it seriously because I kept reporting.

If the police and other agencies helped the situation earlier they can do so again but only if OP keeps reporting.

That's a difficult one. It must be so hard for the lady and she is clearly unwell, but at the same time I also feel for you and your neighbours. You said your dog is wobbly on their back legs and too big/sore to carry. But have you thought about using one of those temporary ramps people use for getting their old dogs in cars? It might give you a solution for taking her out the front and giving you and your neighbour a bit of a break. You can often find them 2nd hand. Or I guess a sturdy wide piece of wood would work as long as there was something wrapped on for your dog to grip on to.

I don't think anyone should have to accept verbal abuse and harassment regardless of mental health issues.

I would keep on complaining to her social worker, the council etc and see if more suitable accommodation can be found. She may well be scared alone, she is obviously vulnerable and may well need sheltered accommodation.

Nothing you can do. I'd just shout hello over the fence and get on with your life. The police and social services have done all they can. Not everything can be fixed.

It can if neighbours keep highlighting the problem. Services will be hoping people will just put up with it and they shouldn't have to. It must be incredibly intimidating.

i would walk in a different direction personally

or wear headphones when you walk past

I feel your pain. My immediate next door neighbour is similar. I have empathy for her as it is an awful illness but equally it can be very hard for me and my family to deal with. I have tried various things over the years and I have got to know her patterns pretty well.

I know when she is ramping up and that she uses certain music to calm herself. So if she is ranting I blast Fleetwood mac at her and she quietens down. I have also found a clear polite note through her door has an impact too. I also say hello to her in the street.

I will stress this though- it's much easier to be compassionate when you are not living next door to someone with a mental health condition such as this.

She’s ill. I think you just ignore her completely and carry on.

If I were you, I'd just be grateful for your own health and ignore her. She can't harm you by shouting from her garden.

If it were me I’d be wearing headphones and playing music too loud to hear her and then switch off once away from the house.

There's no guarantee that she's even responding to you - she could just as easily be responding to her voices, as they would be no less real to her than yours, or she's vocalising one of those voices. It's not fun, no, but it's absolutely not her fault that she is so unwell but not unwell enough to need involuntary removal to hospital for assessment/treatment.

The life expectancy of people with psychosis isn't great - 10-15 years lower than somebody without - so she's got a vastly shortened life full of unpleasant feelings and experiences.

Similar situation occurred in our smallish community.
we the six or so houses agreed to ring the police (a call handler not a web report) every single time.

we made about I guess 300 individual reports.

they did basically nothing and had to give up.

The problem is mental heath services are virtually none existent, adult social care is virtually none existence. Care is a minimum wage job primarily staffed with people who couldn’t actually care less about the people they are caring for (thinking about the one that dressed my son in a pyjama top and swimming shorts during winter) with the exception of some absolute gems. So what’s the answer?

My adult son is severely disabled and without me providing most of his care I dead to think what the outcome would be as services just don’t exist anymore. The Tory’s obliterated them all but that’s what people voted and now they don’t like the consequences.

This is going to be unpopular but I'd imagine most people on here saying 'be kind' and 'have some empathy' would not feel that way if this were their neighbour.

OP, you have my sympathies. I would find this awfully unsettling and intimidating and I imagine many others would.

I would be reporting to 101 . Every time.

It's not the woman's fault but that doesn't mean you should have to put up with it. Why have we resigned ourselves to tolerating so much just because the NHS isn't funded properly. We need to demand more from the services we pay our taxes into, quite frankly.

Not at all, I was offering practical suggestions. Of which I'm certain would be more prudent courses of action than some of the other suggestions above like growing scented flowers and moving house.

Seems you are more concerned with virtue signalling than helping the OP.

If she’s not deemed to be a danger to herself or others, she wouldn’t be sectioned. There are very few beds and too many people needing them. I say that as somebody who has been sectioned multiple times.
I think you just have to ignore her.

I'm confused, she's behind a tall fence and is triggered by hearing you talking to your dog?
Put your dog on a short lead, pet it's ears or similar as you pass her garden and resume the reassuring talk once further away, see this small inconvenience as a kindness to the poor woman.

I think you are bringing your own issues into this. I was trying to help.