Neighbour snores loudly enough to wake us up

[tortoisewoman]

Title says it all really: our downstairs neighbour snores so loudly that we can hear it at night, and it regularly wakes both me and DW up (DW moreso than me as she is a light sleeper). For context, neighbour is on the ground floor and we live on the first floor of a converted Victorian building, so the walls are reasonably thick! This week has been particularly bad, to the point that it actually sounded like he was in the room with us. What on Earth do we do?! Sometimes I'm tempted to put a letter through the door saying we can hear the snoring and suggesting he go to the doctor, because it can't be healthy to be making that kind of sound while trying to breathe in your sleep...

Oooh maybe I listed the wrong magnesium 😂 I take a magnesium supplement every night to help me sleep (I have work induced anxiety which causes insomnia!) and it helps me sleep all night

It doesn’t help me shite though. Although it would be useful if it did 😂😂

If you read other threads on here about partners snoring it would appear the guilty partner is usually in denial.

How about mentioning it to the wife, gosh is 'snoring neighbour' ok? We've been hearing him for a few weeks now. Very worrying. I assume he has an appointment with the GP to check for sleep apnea? Such a dangerous illness and so easily rectified. Just blather kindly. She will surely tell 'snoring neighbour' and help him get over his denial of snoring. His life will change when he gets a a diagnosis and a cpap machine.

And under lay and carpet. I know you're renting but a carpet shop can organise 'whipping' the edges of whatever size carpet you like. So no need for gripper or anything likely to upset the LL.

I would buy a massive rug and place on the wooden floors… get one that is big enough to cover the whole floor! I’d also pop a little note under his door suggesting that you’re concerned as his snoring is so loud it sounds like he’s struggling to breathe! And mention that it keeps you wake

Neighbours snoring, colleagues typing, tradesmen pooing. Is there no end to what people will be irritated by on here?

Get thick rugs if you can't carpet... You can put underlay under them too... Wood floors have really really bad sound insulation..
Or those foam mats they sell for kids instead of underlay..

That’s horrible, you feel helpless. It’s happened twice on holiday to us with someone snoring their toys off whilst we are disturbed. I can’t wear earplugs due to an issue with my ears/sinuses. At least if DH snores I can elbow him and tell him to shut up.

Maybe a fan or noise machine to drown out the noise ?

Indeed.
I don't claim to be sane when others aren't though. 🫣

Not wanting to constantly be disturbed isn't being 'unhinged".

Exactly. Snoring comes in the same category as children playing, washing machines rattling, occasional noisy repairs etc. Just part of life.

As someone with sleep apnoea and snoring, yes 100% you should talk to the neighbour or his wife. It might be what he needs to stop denying that he has a problem and actually get a sleep study done.

I was stopping breathing 35-50 times per hour. No wonder I always woke up with a headache. Much better with my CPAP machine and no snoring. DH also has sleep apnoea and snores incredibly loudly. He also has a CPAP machine. Still snores a bit but it’s so much less and quieter.

DH was in denial about his snoring even though it woke me up 3-4 times every night. I ended up recording his snoring and gasping for breath. That worked.

My father has sleep apnoea, snoring and now had a CPAP machine. He was in denial for decades. Not sure what happened to get him to finally take it seriously. Might have been pissing off total strangers while camping with his loud snoring. He felt so much better and was less sleepy once it was treated.

Snoring is a health issue. It’s not a judgement of a person’s worth. If he’s snoring so loudly and so persistently every night that he’s disturbing his neighbours then he’s in denial about it. He needs to know the impact he’s having on people. I’m sure his wife and daughter have told him a million times and he’s ignored them a million times. This might be what he needs to hear.

I'm glad you've managed to get the treatment you needed! It sounds like it makes your life seriously difficult to struggle for breath while sleeping. That's what we're concerned about, just as much as for our own disrupted sleep.

You say you’ve tried white noise - really surprises me that you say you can still hear it over that. I’ve had issues with noisy neighbours (and also a very loud snoring relative), and I find that the right type of white noise from a decent white noise machine covers everything except door slamming and bass. (White noise through headphones sorts those.)

As well as the rugs and earplugs, I’d experiment with different types of white noise and volume if you haven’t already. A dedicated machine is best. I like grey and brown noise for covering noise and my own ability to mentally tune them out even if the volume is high.

I have a similar problem with my upstairs neighbour, not so much snoring , more that she is mainly nocturnal and sometimes brings back strange men and I could hear everything!
Within days of her moving in I moved rooms as I knew it would drive me crazy.
You shouldn't have to move rooms, bit if it gives a better quality of sleep it's worth it.

The CPAP makes a big difference to quality of sleep. Breathing consistently is good! The stop-start breathing of sleep apnoea increases the risk of heart attack, stroke, memory problems and falling sleep while driving. It’s a serious health issue. Every time the person stops breathing their brain is getting starved of oxygen. It adds up.

If you approach your neighbour with genuine concern for him hopefully it goes over well. Do it before you hate him and his bloody incessant loud industrial level snoring and you find yourself almost wishing he that he doesn’t start breathing again. Not that I’ve ever thought that…

For those suggesting a white noise machine or putting a fan on, they obviously don’t know just how loud and piercing some snoring is. It can vibrate through the walls and floor. A fan or white noise isn’t going to do shit. You’ll still hear and feel the snoring. It will pretty much penetrate your bones.

@BinsinBonson can you recommend a decent machine? I've been looking at some on Amazon for my own sleep issues and there are so many and such a range of prices I have no idea what to get!

Seconding the suggestions about children's mats or acoustic underlay underneath rugs plus a robot floor cleaner to keep the rugs clean.

I agree with you about hard floors being easier to clean but it's a case of what bothers you most and is most disruptive.

I wondered if this was our old upstairs neighbours time travelling from when exh and I lived together in a similar flat set up.

He actually managed to wake their baby some nights. Didn’t do anything about it though.

I think you really ought to be able to tell him. Whether he does anything about it is another matter!

Sympathy here op, I remember my Dad's snoring growing up, I'm a v light sleeper and struggle to get to sleep if there's much noise so use some decent earplugs called Aurora by Soundbloc that I get from Amazon. They're the green silicone ones and are softer and smaller than their main dark blue Soundbloc version, I found those too hard and too big.

Or noise cancelling headphones and white noise / audiobooks / music? Plus rugs and possibly underlay if you can't carpet the room.

Yes I would seriously consider moving if my sleep was being disturbed every night by a snoring neighbour, sleep deprivation is the worst and it's not like music or loud Tv that can be controlled or turned off!

In certain types of buildings you will hear noise and that is to be expected!

Being constantly disturbed by loud music in the early hours and antisocial behaviour etc, that would constitute having a word but someone snoring, nope!

I would hope you live in a detached property in the middle of nowhere tbh.

It’s not the person snoring who is the problem, it’s the lack of adequate soundproofing in a building! I can hear my NDN snoring and at one point I heard him coughing in the night for what seemed like weeks, would that also be something you’d ’have a word’ about?

@Ivyy We have an Alexa that will play brown noise (through an app called sleep sounds). Also plays rain noises, white noise, pink noise. My DH has a CPAP so I like to keep the brown noise running through the night to offset the squeaks his mask makes when it gets a bit dislodged, or street sounds in the night (we're in London).

The person snoring is part of the issue. Having lived below neighbours who turned their flat into a nightclub every weekend I agree that there are worse disruptions, but any consistent disruption to sleep is unpleasant.

Turning a flat into a nightclub and a person snoring are poles apart!

They are both disruptive.

Speaking as someone whose partner (only sometimes, thankfully) snores like an adenoidal warthog, I have found the solution:

Earplugs AND sleep headphones are the answer.

I use these https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B06Y6B8YMD/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_image_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1]]
and this https://www.amazon.co.uk/WU-MINGLU-Bluetooth-Headphones-Headbands-Adjustable/dp/B07PMRG7HG/ref=sr_1_4?crid=3LN9RAVW0C96R&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.j_TLnIbdrAt5Udqz7T3CQld2Hi2Uu-R24GfEWfQPi11lHyvG1vaS8t_2IkzQry2CHXnnXLRGTu0n8otnTdhcV4ziYduWkLy4yoBCRunqmIcwLtjkqPKJi0cMkIFO6AoShGnquO6RuCFYRrxuFPAUCGXHtmLotdZaJuONVdpreHTx0XJvyjDyuKaXXAeji98_iHghMni6TJSqtwkJReQQ4-TwAyajI9ARyKJa-

Earplugs in, then sleep headphone over the top. The sleep headphone is connected to the white noise app on my phone, which I then play at top volume.

Even with DP doing his concrete breaker impression right next to me, I can't hear any of it.