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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sacrifice my career for my family

128 replies

Flumpi · 02/10/2024 20:04

Long story short, I am training to be a Nurse and DH works for a small private company which my family run. They are going to merge with another company and DH has been asked to be a company director.

he does school runs when I am on early shifts and pick ups when I’m on lates. He takes the kids to sports clubs so I can study.

If he becomes a director he won’t have this sort of flexibility any more and would have to spend a lot more time working. I really doubt I will be able to continue with my training.

it would mean a huge step up in finances for us and we would be able to send our children to private school and move within the area we want to be.

But really love my job and don’t know how I would feel about throwing all that work away. However it would be so wonderful to spend more time with my children while they are small.

AIBU to even consider it

OP posts:
Whatafustercluck · 03/10/2024 11:34

yikesanotherbooboo · 03/10/2024 07:48

I think you should qualify at the very least. You can use increased income for extra child care needs; you have said yourself that DH might have more flexibility in a couple of years and your DC will be a little older by then and their needs will be different. It isn't a question of having DC never for parents to be with them , it is a question of all of your personal development.

Exactly this. 'Family' doesn't mean one person putting their wants, needs and desires on hold to ensure the wants, needs and desires of other family members are fulfilled. It means working together, sometimes compromising your ideals in favour of a middle ground that is acceptable to all. Op, if you enjoy your work then my advice would be to continue with it. So often women lose themselves to the needs of their families.

And for what it's worth, nobody really has children 'for someone else to raise them'. I don't believe or feel that, as a working mum. My dh and I are raising them. Our cm cares for them while we are working - for us, for them. For the family.

It's ok to decide to be a sahm. But do it for yourself, because you will feel fulfilled. It sounds though like you'd miss your work/ career. And that would be a great shame and end up feeling like a sacrifice. It's more difficult for women to just pick up where they left off, too, no matter how many will tell you that you can.

Original poster
Flumpi · 03/10/2024 13:07

category12 · 03/10/2024 11:32

I'd love if you answered whether you and dh have really looked into the liabilities you're exposed to as a company director.

its a business that’s been going strong for nearly 40 years, with a good reputation, although you never know how things may work out. That can be said for a lot of things though? They have mainly government/public sector contracts, more when the company they merge with brings their client base with them too. It’s something that there will always be demand for.

OP posts:
jay55 · 03/10/2024 16:51

Get your training done. You don't want to return and find the requirements have changed and it's going to take longer/cost more.

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