Details that made a wedding

[Gopin]

Please can I ask what details at a wedding you have really liked? Big or small.

I remember going to a wedding as a child which had a treasure hunt set up for the kids in the reception hall. And the prize was the unveiling of a treat table. As a kid it was amazing.

Im getting married next year and just thinking about those nice thoughtful touches.

We have made sure there is no waiting around and PLENTY of food.

any input would be much appreciated

No hanging around and waiting for photos (we just had our friend’s dad take candid shots)

Save on stuff like favours etc and instead focus on… really good food, open bar or at least a free on the bride and groom, and a good DJ.

We had 48

oh and not in the arse end of no where. We had central london so people got public transport in and those who weren’t londoners (most were) stayed in hotel (and we paid for 50%)

Something to do is appreciated. Because yes there's having a drink, and a chat, and the meal and speeches and the like. But particularly if you don't know that many people present, or you're just a little bit awkward and sparking up conversations again and again can feel a bit intimidating, then having some activities you can do gives you something to do and something to talk to people about. Like some giant garden games - jenga, horseshoes, cornhole, etc, like the treasure hunt activity, putting instant cameras or poloroids out, maybe origami instructions and paper on the tables, that kind of thing.

A wedding,especially if the ceremony is in a separate venue to the reception, that runs without massive gaps.
I've been to weddings where the couple got married at about 11am (usually church ones), then on to a hotel for the meal with an hours gap and sometimes onto a 3rd venue (usually cheaper than having the hotel all day) with another hours gap.

For this reason we had a 2pm wedding and had a cheaper reception venue so that we could afford to have the meal and the evening do in one place and not have any time when guests were just hanging around.

One wedding I went to had disposable cameras on the tables for guests to take informal shots, another had little wind up toys on the tables to play with.

Genuinely, no details make a wedding. You just remember the bits that struck you as a child. The wedding industry gets peiole to part with great wads of cash under the delusion that favours or seat covers or photo booths or hog roasts will make or break a wedding, but they really won’t. Think the day though from the POV of the guests, and think about longeurs, times when they might be hungry or bored, and eliminate them.

A good schedule and free drinks.

Best wedding I went to was a church wedding and a walk back to the parents house where there was welcome drink and photos, followed by a marquee in the field, posh toilets, and catered food and stacks of free booze and soft drinks.

Tables were thoughtfully grouped and no table faff. Extra wine pulled out regularly so noone was forced to drink the red wine that is inevitably left on the table. Bottles of prosecco everywhere. A band after the meal. Everyone was invited to everything.

A crisp wall 😂

Friends had a photo booth and a box of silly hats, feather boas, comedy specs etc. Was fun, ours are still on the fridge.

Early ceremonies can make for a very long day. I recall a family wedding we went to that had the very short ceremony at 12 noon, then (I kid you not) an hour and a half of photograph’s, then everyone sat around in a lovely but rather isolated place just talking, maybe the odd drink until around 6pm where we were finally fed. Except………they had forgotten about people that don’t eat meat😱 We had a tiny bit of salmon, some salad and a bread roll. And a McDonalds on the drive home🤣 We love the family members dearly, and it was nice to see their happy day, but they got some very important things wrong.

Last two family weddings have been great, but our personal trick is to take our motorhome. We can take the dog, have a rest, get away from things for a bit, go for a walk, change clothes, even feed ourselves.

Bride and Groom will probably decide what is important for them the most. But for most guests it’s going to be the food, the chance to get together with other friends and family, not having hours of doing nothing, possibly a quiet area.

I agree with PP that no "details" make a wedding.

Yes, providing amusements for children will go down well (with both the DC and the parents who will be glad to see them amused). Games that adults can play too can go down well (I was once at one where there was a croquet lawn, and there was a totally vicious series of Pimms-fuelled games at sundown)

But the real things that make a good wedding are the basics - enough food at a normal mealtime, enough to drink (with normal bar prices if it's a cash bar), enough places to sit and chat and hear what the other person is saying, no long hanging around, and good speeches that everyone can easily hear and don't go on for too long.

Late ceremony, all in the same place, no wedding favours, no giant flowers on the table so you can’t see anyone, good band, quick food, wide selection of drinks, easy to get a cab home from.

Edit - short speeches!!

Personally I am a fan of a child free wedding, but each to their own!

You’re not going to please everyone, so make it about the pair of you, it’s your day.

Not a nightmare to travel to
Not ages hanging around starving while photos are going on
Babysitter/something to keep kids entertained. Kid specific wedding favours
Not millions of speaches from everyone 2 is enough

From the point of a non-alcohol drinker - plenty of drinks that aren't alcohol but also aren't J2O or coke. Or, even worse, sparkling bloody water.

We might not drink alcohol but we like to have something that we wouldn't otherwise have, some nice mocktails or interesting flavours of tonic water or something. I've lost track of the events that I've been to where everyone else is getting blasted on free wine and we non-drinkers are sitting in a corner with some squash from the kids' table because we're so sick of sparkling water!

Totally agree with this - I got married at 4pm for precisely this reason and because I bloody hate getting up early in the morning, even for wedding! and lots of people said how good it was that there was no waiting around. We also got married in one place and had the reception 500 yards away so there was no extra travelling and made sure that bubbly was available directly after the ceremony while we took photos (and I limited that to 15 minutes).

A couple weddings I went to include 11pm snacks for those who will still going, I really enjoyed it and it soaked up some of the alcohol.

My worst wedding was 12 hours long, started at 12 and ended at 12, bus back to hotel so impossible to leave early because the area was rural and we couldn't get a cab. They had a band instead of a DJ, the music only suited a handful of people, the rest sat around bored out of their minds waiting for it to finish.

I think others have nailed it- plan the day without lots of waiting around. Plan a sensible time for food then work backwards.

I went to a wedding where the bride and groom plus some others had taken all the posed photos before everyone got there.

Something for kids to do if they are invited, even if it is just an outside space to run around in.

I think your wedding’s going to be GREAT because you’re thinking like this already! The best ones I’ve been to have been the weddings of people who know how to host guests and want to celebrate WITH them not be celebrated BY them.

They’ve always had an open bar (at least for a large portion of the evening), and gone for plentiful, tasty food rather than trying to do a fancy dinner.

I think one of the biggest mood killers has been when the room capacity was far greater than the number of guests. Another is when the music has been too niche, which means no one’s dancing, to the irritation of one or both of the happy couple.

Having a civil ceremony that didn’t start to 3 and had a really funny celebrant who just completely set the tone for the day. Only 1 hour between the ceremony ending and getting people into the dinner hall.

Oh and being a relaxed bride. I was so chill and honestly it made the day so much better. People could see how happy and chilled out I was and then they were happy and chilled out.

A convenient location.

Good food and plenty of it. Doesn’t need to be fancy.

Good drinks and plenty of it, inc non alcoholic.

Thoughtful touches

• our best man’s wife had a birthday so we had a cupcake with candle come out (ie we told the restaurant we had a birthday happening and this is what they did).

• Seating plan. Nice one for the board, functional one for the staff including birthday girl, camera people and camera set up, wheelchair and pram locations. Clarity, clarity, clarity. You could include the vegetarians etc on the staff one.

• MC’s run sheet. A copy goes to the kitchen. And MC needs to keep everything moving to time so a bit of strength of character is good.

• Proper seating outside.

The best wedding I went to had a board games area in addition to the band/dancefloor. We had the best time playing twister, uno, etc. Not everyone wants to dance and this was such a good laugh!

Childrens entertainer for the boring bits

I really like to see the bride and groom’s personality and story come through in the details. We went to a very expensive wedding a few years ago and I thought it was such a shame that they’d spent a huge amount of money and yet the wedding could have been anyone’s, it felt almost corporate.
I also think throw as much money at the bar as you can possibly afford to. The weddings with a real party atmosphere are the ones where guests don’t need to worry about paying for every single drink they have, particularly if it’s a long day! I’ve been to some where you can tell people aren’t drinking and therefore dancing as much as they might have because they’re in an expensive venue and paying £8+ for every drink.

We put all the children on one table, near a door so they could go in and out, to their hearts content

Honestly I think people would do themselves and their guests a favour by thinking (and certainly talking) a bit less about the details of weddings.

As a PP mentioned there’s a vast industry that takes advantage of this sort of fuss and none of it matters to the guests (and it’s exceptionally boring to talk to someone planning a wedding about all this).

Put on a short, efficient party with good food, plentiful drinks and keep the speeches as short and free from self indulgence as possible. And avoid making people wait around for you to sign documents and have photos.

The ideal as a wedding guest is to miss the actual wedding and just go for the party. Weddings are only really enjoyable to immediate family. To the rest of us they are fun in so much as they offer an opportunity for a get together with friends. Most of the actual wedding is a snoozefest.