Details that made a wedding

[Gopin]

Please can I ask what details at a wedding you have really liked? Big or small.

I remember going to a wedding as a child which had a treasure hunt set up for the kids in the reception hall. And the prize was the unveiling of a treat table. As a kid it was amazing.

Im getting married next year and just thinking about those nice thoughtful touches.

We have made sure there is no waiting around and PLENTY of food.

any input would be much appreciated

All of this. Also if the venue says it’s accessible be sure that the lift is big enough for a wheelchair and carer. I couldn’t actually get inside one wedding venue so DH and I went out for a meal instead dressed in all our finery!

There was another wedding where the only route from the accessible lift to the wedding seating was a narrow path across the room which had loads of flower arrangements around the edges. I accidentally ran over a few flowers which was a bit awkward

The best weddings I’ve been to are those where the bride and groom consider themselves as hosts and prioritise the comfort and enjoyment of their guests. Basically all the things that have already been mentioned (plenty of food and drink with dietary needs catered for, no hanging around, convenient location, etc.). It may be an old-fashioned attitude, but I don’t believe weddings are ‘all about’ the bride and groom, they’re about celebrating with your nearest and dearest. And no-one feels very celebratory if they’re hungry/thirsty/bored!

The other thing that makes a huge difference is how relaxed (or not!) the bride and groom are. No one cares if things don’t go exactly to plan, but there will be a very awkward atmosphere if the bride goes into meltdown over it.

When it comes to details, things that I appreciate are detailed instructions about the logistics of the day (timings, parking, etc) and a thoughtful seating plan. For example, when we got married the venue was unable to provide drinks or snacks before the ceremony so I made sure that guests were aware of this and the timing of the meal so that those who were travelling some distance had the option to stop for a quick bite on the way if they wanted. We also made a real effort to ensure that everyone was seated with people they knew.

If you’re having a DJ or doing your own playlist, you could ask each guest in advance for a request. My brother did this at his wedding and there was some fantastic music, much more eclectic than the standard wedding playlist stuff.

Interesting that so many PPs are saying 'no gaps'. I agree 100%. Once went to a wedding where there was a 'lull' built into the day – bride and groom went off and had endless arty photos taken – where we were all expected to go and amuse ourselves for a couple of hours. I think the bar was open but it wasn't free and there was no food or entertainment of any sort. Some people went to the pub (not sure if they came back…), others went to get something to eat etc. It killed the vibe stone dead and the reception never really recovered.

So the couple have lovely photos as a memento of their special day, while the rest of the friendship group laugh over the 'lull', even now 25+ years later, it has become a symbol of what not to do at a wedding.

I'm getting married (in 2 weeks..eek!) I personally don't give a shit about details at other people's weddings and think people remember more about the flow of the day.

So we aren't having any photos, just having a buffet and a free bar as I think that's what people care about (or maybe I do...)

For the love of god, do the speeches AFTER the food and not before. Nothing worse as a guest than sitting there starving and wanting a drink while the father of the bride drones on for what feels like forever. Much, much better to do them when everyone’s fed, relaxed and well oiled, makes for a far more enjoyable atmosphere!

Oh and if you are providing hot drinks, please offer decaf options, some of us have sensitivity to caffeine but do like a warm drink

Amen! Was so excited to have a child free wedding as I was really looking forward to catching up with friends I never get to talk to properly (bc we all have kids constantly interrupting). Instead I spent four hours next to people I'd never met before and will never see again. Was so disappointed.

Single venue is good
Meaningful ceremony
Thoughtful decorations that aren't overdone
A good dinner
An old fashioned iced fruit wedding cake
Great music
Quieter areas to sit that aren't too far away
Really important... bar and main reception area very close
Rooms onsite so that guests can freshen up/take timeout
Relaxed couple, I love seeing them going round together chatting to everyone
Clear cake cutting and first dance
Right sized or definitely not too big venue
Place names and favours etc but nothing to fussy/twee
I love a lineup so that everyone can congratulate the bride and groom
Short speeches including the women if they want to
Something that occupies but doesn't segregate the children
Opportunity for family/friend groups to have pictures together
Lots of laughter, not too much posing
Individual teas/coffees available on request
Good non alcoholic drinks
Generally nothing that looks as though it might have skinted the happy couple!

A free drink token was a nice touch at a wedding recently.
I like scratch cards as a favour aswell

Magician, one that mingles with the guests and brings people together, doing card type tricks etc. the wedding we went to that had one timed it straight after ceremony whilst 1st drink was being served.

Me too but if you have lots of children attending, they're amazing. The parents enjoyed the whole evening as the kids spent the whole time playing in it. They loved having the prints to take away. It really depends on your audience.

Plenty of booze. That really is the key.

Another vote for flip flops. I've been to a wedding that had this... Great idea!

Make sure you say hello to every single guest at some point throughout the day. We went to a wedding where the Bride stuck with the same small group of friends all day and ignored everyone else. Rude!

A relative, on the other hand, put a personalised handwritten note on every guest’s place at the reception. That was a lovely gesture.

Just make people feel welcome and included and all will be good.

Another vote for this! Forgot to add it to my list!

This! With bells on! 👏👏

Good food, comfortable chairs, and easy access to water. It’s amazing how hard it can be to get a glass of water at a wedding.

guests remember that they were taken care of. That can happen in many ways, but ultimately that is the point. Walk through the day from the guest perspective. If it doesn’t sound enjoyable at some point, make adjustments.

But nothing worse as a member of the wedding party than ruining your dinner because you're nervous about your speech. I definitely think speeches before dinner is best, but keep them short (I went to a wedding with 5 speeches - it took well over an hour!) and as I said, I put bread and butter on the tables for guests to eat during speeches.

PP has said a magician, which was one of my major hates from a wedding I went to, so it just proves you'll never please everyone.

A curry at the end of the evening do.

I think we’ll have to agree to disagree, I’d personally put the comfort and enjoyment of my guests first and if any of the wedding part were so nervous about making a speech it would ruin their dinner then surely they just wouldn’t make one! Surely it’s also far less nerve wracking when everyone has been fed and is relaxed and enjoying themselves as opposed to making a speech to a room full of people who are mostly thinking “bloody hell just get on with it so we can eat!”. Bread often doesn’t cut it when people have travelled long distances, already sat through the ceremony etc. it’s just good manners IMO to make sure guests are well fed and watered first.

I do agree with you on the magician though!

I'm on team "speeches before the meal". Defo for the people who have to make the speeches and their nerves. Also I was at one wedding where everyone was very drunk by the time the speeches came around after the meal so there was a bit of commentary from the crowd. And aswell as that, I feel like after the meal people are ready to get up and stretch their legs or move a bit before the tiredness hits.

No two hour break for photos.
Enough food.
Enough drink. Doesn't have to be a free bar but not half a bottle per person on the table with no option to buy until the meal is over.

The best wedding I’ve been to:

-Started at 4pm.

-No speeches or formal meal. As soon as the ceremony was over all guests went straight to the free champagne and canapés served.

-Pizza oven and chips served later on into the evening.

-Saxophonist playing modern dance/Ibiza tunes which got the crowd going and dancing.

-Large communal seating areas both inside and outside the venue which got people chatting and mingling.

Best ones I've been to have had good food, and ceilidh or good disco. It helps if you know more than one other person there.....

We have made sure there is no waiting around and PLENTY of food

You're most of the way there, then.

If there's a buffet element make sure food is clearly labelled and invite anyone with special diets up first. Remember everyone eats the special options - not just the people they are intended for - so make sure there is more veggie/vegan/gluten free etc than 1 portion/person who requires it, or keep it under the counter to hand out as needed).