Details that made a wedding

[Gopin]

Please can I ask what details at a wedding you have really liked? Big or small.

I remember going to a wedding as a child which had a treasure hunt set up for the kids in the reception hall. And the prize was the unveiling of a treat table. As a kid it was amazing.

Im getting married next year and just thinking about those nice thoughtful touches.

We have made sure there is no waiting around and PLENTY of food.

any input would be much appreciated

I think it's a very personal thing. For me, I find a lot of weddings, especially in summer, have quite a generic theme in terms of flowers etc. It's all very beautiful, but in my memory they're all the same. So that was something I really prioritised at my wedding - we had unusual flowers and quite statement displays. But while it made ME super happy, I'm not sure anyone else would have noticed or cared!

One thing I do remember was a wedding where the there was a big wicker basket of mixed flip flops next to the dance floor, in different sizes and colours etc, for female guests to select during dancing if their feet were sore (and take home, obviously). That was fun and far more practical than a bag of candied almonds! Another wedding I went to that had a lot of children in attendance didn't do dessert but instead had a "make your own sundae" bar which was fun.

Ours was a Covid wedding so very small. I hope the things we did made our guests happy so we had our couple wedding photos taken before we actually got married then guests didn't need to wait around. Photos of the day were taken by our photographer wandering around taking candid shots. Lovely intimate venue for both 3.30 wedding and meal after with lots of budget was spent on beautiful food and wine. Because of the lockdowns many of the guests were just delighted to dress up and go out, especially as we locked down again four days later !

It will be different for everyone but for me it's a relaxed event with children welcome and something to entertain them. Dancing for those who want it but not compulsory for those who don't. Somewhere where people can properly catch up and chat without listening to loud music. And an event focused on the people rather than a showcase event.
But I know that would not be to some people's taste.
Only you know your guests and what would appeal to them and to you.

Really? Speak for yourself.

The ceremony is the most interesting/ valuable bit to me. I could often do without the party.

I have enjoyed weddings with things like croquet on the lawn, mini golf... the meal served not too late and no silly type of entertainment. Live music is nice.

To contradict what i said about silly entertainment we had a photo booth at a party and it was an amazing hit with the kids especially.

Awesome seems like we are hitting a number of the points made - free bar, central location (London), no large gaps etc.

I don't care that much about location - once i'm in, I'm in whethe ryou're marrying in central london or the middle of the French countryside.... But I do HATE a long journey between church and venue. It so often makes logistics so much more complicated.

A choice of nice soft drinks for people who don't drink, including over the meal. As a teetotaller, I cannot tell you how my heart sinks when the only drinks options are wine or water.

We had a magician and hunt for the kids which seemed to go down well. Also I wrote letters for each of the bridesmaids which were on their place setting for the meal. It was a little thing but seemed to go down really well with them (this was in addition to the gifts).

Feed your guests decent canapés while the photos are being taken otherwise everyone ends up hungry and pissed.

I'm mid-30s so have been to A Lot of weddings recently (including my own). Honestly, everyone tries to be different but they're all pretty samey. Having been through it myself you can see the time, money and effort spent on the details (pizza van, Poloroid place settings, typewriter guest book, magician...), but it doesn't matter to anyone but the bride in all honesty. The things that really matter are the food, the drink and the company.

If you can get a good wedding coordinator it makes a difference, it means you can hand everything over to them and be fully present on the day. Ditto choosing a photographer (+/- videographer) who take mainly candid photos and won't be pulling you away all day to pose. I personally don't think a free bar is an essential. I'm Scottish and one half of our guests were massive drinkers, so we didn't put on a free bar. We put half a bottle of wine pp on the table. Otherwise we'd have spent a fortune, and half the guests wouldn't have got their share as the big drinkers would have got in there first. Good (and plentiful) food is essential. I asked for bread on the tables during the speeches because I'm always so hungry by then. Canapes are extortionate, so it was more realistic than serving 10 canapes per person. For the evening buffet, consider cheese on toast or rolls and sausage or pakora rather than a classic buffet. Serve tea and coffee after the meal and with the buffet.

Some people will say you don't need flowers, centrepieces etc - I disagree. You don't need to go mad, but if you skimp too much people will notice. Also a good band always go down well.

Baby goats in the garden for the kids!

Actually good food. Quality seems to vary a lot more these days. Lots of canapés. Constant food tbh! comfort and fun. Some decent places to stand, sit and things to do. Guestbooks but fun style like drawing/writing on a map, stamping something, things like that. It’s nice when it feels warm and personal.

Couldn't tell you any details about any of the weddings I've ever been to!

Just decent food, a bar with enough staff to actually serve people quickly, and a good band or DJ.

I was at a wedding a few years ago , where board games were provided, think simple like connect 4 and snakes and ladders such fun and a break from the dance floor. Irish weddings go on for hours so it was something different

Oh also outdoor space! That makes a huge difference. Nothing worse than being trapped in a loud hall when you want to catch up with someone, people like having some space to move around and go outside with their drinks.

I agree that tea and coffee (and water!) available at all times.

I love all the details in people's weddings, they can be in proportion with one's budget. Our budget was small so we did an awful lot ourselves and I enjoyed it.

It sounds like you've already thought of a lot so I'm sure it will be lovely.

Places to sit, different rooms, beautiful things to look at/talk about if you don’t know what to say. One venue I went to had a cocktail stand and they were lovely!

Plenty of food and no waiting around is a good start, I would also do let people know what drinks if any are included and if money is required, whether cash is needed and a drinks list so people know what they need to budget. Ensure there's decent non alcoholic options for the toast and on the table if applicable, some of us can't drink orange or apple juice!

Make sure evening only guests can go straight in

Yes!

Every wedding I go to has flip flops , sewing kit for emergencies, deodorant sometimes Sally Hansen for tan emergencies mostly in the ladies loo I'm not sure what the men get but the flip flops are so appreciated by the ladies

And decent info about parking, taxis etc. can often be an issue and it gets stressful.

and please don't go child free, it's so unfair on parents. Only exception being evening guests when the venue is local as it's far easier to get an evening sitter at your house for 4-5 hours than a 3 day sitter for travel, 2 overnights

I went to a Greek wedding as a child and I loved all the dancing.

As an adult, I'm sorry to say, guests don't actually care about details. It's only the person organising it (usually the bridge) who cares. What I would appreciate as a guest is a location that is not a field in the middle of nowhere, short speeches, a free bar and edible food (doesn't have to be expensive). Oh, and no DJ (they're always crap); just spotify with your favourite dancing songs on it.

Everything on one site (ceremony, reception, overnight accommodation) is really fab as it just takes all the headache out of the logistics.

One family wedding I want to had a table near the top table that had lovely black and white photos honouring relatives who had passed away.