Frightened

[IveGotToGoToMeDads]

Just been into the local cemetery walking my dog, and felt uneasy about a man who seemed to be watching me.
He went to one grave down the bottom of the hill, went to another all while watching me, he didn't have any flowers or nothing for anyones grave. He appeared to be talking to himself.
He slowly made his way up towards the hill towards me, at this point my back where to him. I felt really uneasy, so faced towards him and he was staring at me and I felt really intimidated he stopped at another grave and then faced me again staring. I felt is was not quite right and my gut instincted was going, so I decided to abandon my walk with the dog and run back to the car. Got in the car and locked myself in and come back home.

Kind of weird that he’s not allowed to be having a walk around a graveyard but you are?

@JellyTotsAreYum yes dog was on a lead and on the pathway.

If your gut says something is off that should be enough reason to leave. A school was raped at knife point walking to school in my twon last week. Let's not pretend that bad stuff doesn't happen to women and girls at men's hands.

Maybe he was a,wonderful human being and you was somehow totally in the wrong, but risk his feelings over yours?

Women feel off around men in these situations for a reason. Let some other who feels more secure in that situation stay and walk past him. I'd listen to my gut. Like I'm going to tell my kids that the local woodland is not safe.

I can give you loads of reasons why I choose the cemetary for a walk.

• My dog was attacked in april by a bull breed and and shepherd breed, this was on my road. Irrelevant. Go to a park

• I suffer anxiety near people.* Irrelevant.* Go to a quiet park

• I have family in this cemetary so feel peaceful when I am walking around with my dog.* So sod everyone who feels upset by your dog's presence?*

I am not going in there to disrespect anybody. I clear up any mess made and am respectful to those I see.* No dog should be shitting in a cemetery whether you clean it up or not.* Do you jetwash the tree it pees on too? No, you don't. Many of the trees and shrubs are planted in memory of an actual person. So upsetting to see dogs doing that. *
*
None of your reasons are good ones. You also stared at this man as he probably reflected on his bereavement.

There might have been a small risk and as a woman you should trust your instincts and stay safe. That doesn't take away from the fact that it is horrible that entitled people think their dog trumps bereaved parents.

@berksandbeyond I never said that he should not be walking around the cemetary.

Then what is your point?
You felt uncomfortable and you left.
Who do you want to play you in the movie made about this traumatic event?

If your dog could potentially bite, it's best for safety of people and your dog's life that it is muzzled.

If it bites anyone, it will be serious for you and dog could be PTS.

If a dog is that unreliable, it shouldn't be around people at all.

I have noticed that ''nervy'' people have 'nervy' dogs.

A confident dog doesn't bite. {Old man's dog bit someone and it was very nasty}

Things like this are NEVER worth the risk. Sadly, we have to be vigilant, and take no chances whenever we get that gut feeling. A decent bloke would stay clear, not move towards you, and definitely wouldn’t stare. I’d have been on my phone to anyone I could reach, describing him as I calmly walked away.

Do you think he might have been looking for a particular grave? I walk a lot in the cemetery near me as it's a lovely spot, and I often see people acting like this and they're searching for a relative's grave or trying to work out which section they're in.
Mind you there are always a few people around so I'm not alone so it's not frightening. I don't blame you for leaving, it's different if you feel uncomfortable and alone.

@ItWasOnAStarryNight your not understanding that a park would be the same for my dog getting attacked and my anxiety would be high, there are all kind of dangerous dogs off leads in my local park and it is never quite in the park.
Can your please stop telling me where to walk my dog, if I feel I need to walk my dog in the cemetary then that is what I am gonna continue to do.
I am very respectful at all times.

@oakleaffy the dog does not bite, it was an isolated incident, many years ago. The muzzle is just a precaution.

Could have been praying, could have been talking to a dead loved one. My friend sits and talks out loud to her beloved late dad (fairly recent loss) and she is in as good MH as anyone else under the circumstances

Not saying you were wrong to trust your impressions but the post was alarmist about people with suspected MH issues

Well recently I looked at lots of graves in order to get an idea of what kind of headstone I might like to put on a loved one's grave.
Perhaps he was watching your dog to make sure he didn't poo on anyone's grave. Why walk a dog in a graveyard?

I'm not bothered about your dog getting attacked in a park or your anxiety. You're not bothered about me or any other mourners so why should I be?

Find a suitable place to walk your dog. If it needs to be quiet then find a quiet place, a hill, a field, a quiet street, woodland, a quiet corner of a large park, a private dog field, a beach. Anywhere but the place people bury their loved ones.

Your dog should be muzzled. The man was well away from you initially but you were watching and staring at him because you have a potentially dangerous dog in a place it shouldn't really be anyway.

I think you’ve done the right thing to phone 101. I’ve chatted to our local PCSO before and this is exactly the kind of thing they want to hear about. In the days when there were enough police around then random men hanging around cemeteries are exactly the kind of thing they would have noticed. These days they’re spread to thin to notice, but they still want to have a feel for what’s happening in the local area. This one thing is certainly not something they need to take lots of action on, but it could be that multiple women are feeling unsafe walking there.

Obviously he could have been absolutely innocent, and phoned 101 about the random woman staring at him with a fierce looking dog! All we can do in these situations is follow our gut.

Also...people are much warier of a muzzled dog!

The old man had an Irish terrier X that bit someone outside a shop and dog was seized- owner was taken to court- it caused a whole load of stress- his dog was spared destruction, but he had to be muzzled when out in public.

I only know this as this dog and mine adored each other - if they saw each other out on the fields, they'd rush towards each other like long lost lovers -

But one day his dog was muzzled. {and he told me the story}

Ha! This happened to me in a church yard too. But as I left the guy approached me and said "I hope you're not planning to hang around here young lady. This is a place for grieving not socialising' I was on my own and in my 40s at the time. Seriously though, I'm sorry you had this experience OP it shakes you when random men act oddly like this.

Having the muzzle with you but not on the dog is pretty pointless in preventing a bite, and if I was visiting a loved ones grave and I was grieving I would not want to be dodging dog shit or having an unmuzzled dog with a bite history pissing up gravestones, sounds like you were staring at the man as much as he was you

@berksandbeyond its okay I was just asking for people opinion on weather I am or am not being unreasonable to feel unnearved about the wat this man was acting in the cemetary.
Some people found it strange or others don't.
The police are doing a patrol round the cemetary as I phoned 101 and I am going back to the cemetary for a walk tomorrow with my dog and a friend who has agreed to come.

Only you know why you were watching the man. He doesn't. He could well have been wondering why on earth you were staring at him.

I like to wander round graveyards and look at the headstones. Some of them are beautifully carved. Sometimes I wander round gathering information for a puzzle linked to a hobby.

@Casuallydresseddeepinconversation Like I said my dogs mess is cleared up. He mostly likely would not bite, and I keep him away from people.

"Like I said my dogs mess is cleared up"

The problem is you taking him there to make a mess in the first place.

If I was visiting relatives in there, I'd also be death-staring anyone bringing their dog to piss on the gravestones.

because I didn't have my dogs muzzle on and he has bitten and drew blood on a cyclist

FFS muzzle your dog! Now I'm really feeling for this poor man. JC you called 101 - fuckng hell, the dangers of AIBU!

@Casuallydresseddeepinconversation also I was not staring at the man, I would glance then look away then look back.
He was the one staring intently, it was frightening.