Frightened

[IveGotToGoToMeDads]

Just been into the local cemetery walking my dog, and felt uneasy about a man who seemed to be watching me.
He went to one grave down the bottom of the hill, went to another all while watching me, he didn't have any flowers or nothing for anyones grave. He appeared to be talking to himself.
He slowly made his way up towards the hill towards me, at this point my back where to him. I felt really uneasy, so faced towards him and he was staring at me and I felt really intimidated he stopped at another grave and then faced me again staring. I felt is was not quite right and my gut instincted was going, so I decided to abandon my walk with the dog and run back to the car. Got in the car and locked myself in and come back home.

Likely it was nothing, but always best to trust instinct and be cautious.

He might have been talking to loved one at grave side watching you as he felt awkward, is nervous of the dog.

But equally could have been more sinister so leaving quickly was sensible. I wouldn't be going back with or without a friend.

Excellent point. The OP must've been looking at him every time she saw him looking at her. Maybe he was wondering why you kept looking at him.

I don't like being near dogs to the point of phobia. People like looking at gravestones, there are even YouTube videos of people doing it. If I had been in a graveyard I wouldn't have anticipated a dog being walked and would have kept a very close eye on where you were.

It could be totally innocent, my dad and I spend a bit of time wandering the cemetery as we're still deciding what to plant for mum and are looking for ideas. I often think we must look a bit odd if anyone's watching us. But if you're instinct is telling you to run, run. Always. Much better to look like a weirdo fleeing hysterically from an imagined danger than to remain and find yourself in real danger.

If you’re on Facebook it could be worth checking any local dog walking groups to see if anyone’s mentioned the same guy, or seeing if the cemetery has a Friends of… page and seeing if anyone has posted about similar things

It's the way she's gone on and on about this danger that never materialised and it being linked to MH. OP thought someone was a potential risk, wanted to ask opinions and reported it. Fine.

But going adding details about how scared she was and how this scary man in the graveyard probably had MH problems with no proof, about him talking to himself, his exact movement. To me it is stirring up both drama and stigma. Language is important.

She's the one who saw him and identified a risk to himself or others. No problem. That's what the police are for.

I didn't like the tone personally. She left safely by car and is confident enough to go back tomorrow so why make such a fuss? He did nothing wrong in the event.

I think that some men get off on intimidation. A bit like flashing. Walking a bit too close, following a women or staring is easily deniable but will cause a reaction so they can feel powerful.

'Always trust your gut'

I'm not sure that is advisable. There are so many extremely anxious people around, gut trusting is not reliable.

If someone struggles being alone when out and overanalyses other people's behaviour then they should always have someone with them for support.

@ItWasOnAStarryNight some people don't have a problem with walking dogs in cemetaries.
Some people like you do have a problem with walking dogs in cemetaries.
There is no right or wrong opinion on the matter.
You can not go around telling people not to walk there dog in a cemetary.
You are coming across as disrespectful to the people like me who go in the cemetary to walk there dog.
I can give you loads of reasons why I choose the cemetary for a walk.

1. My dog was attacked in april by a bull breed and and shepherd breed, this was on my road.
2. I suffer anxiety near people.
3. I have family in this cemetary so feel peaceful when I am walking around with my dog.

I am not going in there to disrespect anybody. I clear up any mess made and am respectful to those I see.

There are four members of my extended family in the cemetery where my DDad is. I always go and see all of them when I'm there.

I think you were right to follow your gut instinct. But if I were walking between my family graves and a dog walker suddenly turned and stared at me, I'd think they were the one acting strangely.

The police may or may not be interested, depending on what else they are aware of in the area. Cemeteries can be quite isolated and secluded, as can other places where people walk dogs; and yes it's possible that a mugger or other criminal might go for an opportunistic victim when there's no-one else around. (I'd be more worried in places other than cemeteries, as visiting several graves isn't inexplicable to me; but wherever that gut instinct strikes it's worth getting away from)

A flasher was arrested in our local cemetery. Report it OP, he doesn't sound as if he was just visiting a grave.

Those saying "I always pick up after my dog" and there are dog poo bins are completely missing the point.

The cemetery has had to provide that because of people thinking it is an acceptable place for their dog to go and do a shit. Whether you pick it up or not, I don't want your dog shitting whilst I'm trying to reflect. Take it to a dog field or the woods or something.

There are plenty of examples in the media and many cemeteries do ban dogs so maybe stop and think about why that might be. Why the need to take your dog there??

www.lancasterguardian.co.uk/news/environment/shame-of-dog-walkers-fouling-a-lancashire-cemetery-657125

petitions.parliament.scot/petitions/PE2087

lifehacker.com/is-it-ever-ok-to-walk-your-dog-in-a-cemetery-1849171034

This is quite likely.

I do visit a Cemetery and bring dog.

Luckily when visiting, dog hasn't pooed in the cemetery, as it's a 20 minute walk to get there.

As for 'talking to himself' could he be on bluetooth?

HOWEVER- I completely agree that if someone sets your radar off, believe it, and get the hell away from them.

I was followed once on a dog walk when in my 30's- the man {younger than me} was definitely following, as I was taking a twisting course to see if he was following.

I think he was trying to scare me, so I caught dogs up and had them on short leads that made them ''keener looking''.

It was unpleasant.

'I suffer anxiety near people'

I think this is the crux of it op .

I get you felt uneasy OP but I have two graves to visit. I also talk to my relatives out loud (if I think no one can hear). I also have a wonder round the cemetery because it's peaceful. Personally I find it odd that you go there just to walk a dog and I may well be watching you wondering what on earth you are doing. What you also have to realise is whilst you realised he kept looking at you, he also noticed you kept looking at him. 50/50 I'd say.

Perhaps he was too scared to come up the hill to get where he needed to go because of your dog? I’m assuming it was off lead if you were worried about it not wearing a muzzle otherwise you’d have been close enough to ensure your dog didn’t bite. I’d not get too close to a person who had an off lead animal with them, regardless of if it’s a collie or a Rottweiler

You felt unsafe/uncomfortable & left, fair enough.

Re your dog though - was it on a lead and were you walking on main paths (not in and out between graves)? Just thinking I know a number of people who would be looking to avoid contact with a dog or who would worry about dog behaviour in a cemetery (and who would mutter about it).

Re walking looking at different headstones - I've been doing that lately as trying to choose a headstone for a deceased family member and trying to see real-life examples for inspiration, so I probably look pretty odd, although non-threatening.

There are some strange characters that sometimes hang around our local churchyard. I'd never feel comfortable going there alone. Maybe he was watching to see if you picked up after your dog if he did anything, but talking to himself etc sounds worrying. Don't go there alone again.

Why do dog owners drive one mile to walk a dog? <misses point>

Very true. He may have a fear of dogs. Maybe he had been attacked by one.

I will say that the various graves thing wouldn't be anything to worry about to me as in one of our local graveyards I have 6 relations spread out & we help attend their graves, & as for talking to himself, maybe he was saying a prayer or talking to his loved one which I do at my mum's grave,I talk to her as if she's there,it's a comfort to me & don't necessarily think that makes me a weirdo. If you felt uncomfortable that is fair & did as you saw fit which is great & if it is anything well you have done all you can

'The cemetery has had to provide that because of people thinking it is an acceptable place for their dog to go and do a shit. Whether you pick it up or not, I don't want your dog shitting whilst I'm trying to reflect. Take it to a dog field or the woods or something.'

Yes they are peaceful sanctuaries for visitors. Even if there aren't any by laws people should follow the lead of many if not most cemeteries that ban dogs.

There are so many other places more appropriate. No one wants dog poo or smelly dog poo bins in such places.

@DoIWantTo he was not of a lead no. It's just that the pathway is narrow and if he got to close dog could potentially bite.

Everything @yousexybugger is saying.
OP is determined that she was in danger and being stalked by a maniac yet is happy to return to the scene of her terrifying ordeal tomorrow.
The “talking to himself” could very easily have been him muttering to himself under his breath “why is that bloody woman staring at me constantly?”

YANBU for trusting your gut and leaving if you felt uneasy.

Chances are he was just a busybody as others have mentioned watching to make sure you picked up any dog poo.