Would you take on c. 10K debt to have one chance of another child?

[ohcrapimuseless]

Just it really.

Would you take on c. 10k to have the chance of having another child? (likelihood of one round working less than 20%, would need ICSI, multiple health / age risk factors associated with pregnancy loss / infertility / high risk pregnancy).

A friend told me they wanted to do 'everything they could' do assure themselves they had tried to have another baby hence doing rounds of IVF. But they are loaded / piles of inheritance / no mortgage so not needing to take on debt. It's made me feel like I'm not committed to giving my child a sibling and that I can't be sad because I'm not trying hard enough. I can't think straight on this and feel utterly overwhelmed.

YABU - I wouldn't take on that debt for less than 1/5 chance
YANBU - I would take on that debt for less than 1/5 chance

yea it would be under consultant care / lots of scans etc, planned early c section to avoid spontaneous birth. I think that it would be better than the previous pregnancy because I'd be prepared. But there are no guarantees in life.

FWIW my partner is worried about any future pregnancy (worried about me dying/being seriously ill), and would be happy to finish our family as a three. Having said that, I'm fairly sure I could convince him to do IVF.

No and given what you’ve said in follow up posts @ohcrapimuseless i think you’d be insane to even consider a second pregnancy. Enjoy the child you have and count your blessings, don’t waste time hankering after something that’s so unlikely to happen and even if it did, the potential for disaster is much higher than that for success.

Very difficult dilemma.
I remember when we did IVF one of the pieces of advice was to try and do attempts in threes as the psychological burden of a single attempt is too much.
We did 6 months of drug assisted attempts at natural conception.
3 IUI (drug assisted)
Then planned for 3 cycles of IVF. His sperm was poor so they recommended ICSI.
Attempt 1 failed. 2 gave us DC1. 3 gave us twins.
Do you have the mental and physical energy for twins as the possibility is high?

In short. No I wouldn’t go into debt for one chance. Sounds like it was very hard for you with DC1 and there’s too high a likelihood of failure and bad effects on your mental health and finances.

Would I? Absolutely not.
Would others? Quite possibly.
There is no right answer to this, just a list of pros and cons to weigh up.

No I wouldn't. I feel like the world of infertility can be a bit exploitative of women who are so desperate. I definitely fell into the trap (just one more go, oh if I try this special supplement it will happen, I need to try this treatment with this complementary therapist) and it wasn't a good place for me. My DH who is a very black and white person knew when to say no when I didn't and whilst it was hard at the time I don't regret stopping.

You are entitled to your medical information. You can do a freedom of information request and see all notes held on you. Even if you had to do each care provider individually, it might be worth thinking about.
Wishing you all the best.

Yes. I had one successful pregnancy through ivf, but my second pregnancy was via a donor egg.