To buy an engagement ring to NOT propose

[Blahblahgoat]

Let’s say you found your engagement ring. Then let’s say you found out your engagement ring was bought years ago (as in SIX years ago). You have been together 11 years, live together, have pets together and a kid together. He knows you want to get married.

Is it normal to keep hold of a ring for years and then propose? Or is holding onto a ring to just put off using it a huge red flag?

My head is spinning

Please don't be beholden to him.
You want to get married, so why can't you propose? Be active!

I think you’ve missed the point though, that he was clearly planning on proposing, and decided he no longer wanted to marry the op.

If he hasn't been able to commit within 11 years he never will

Sadly, yes this is often true.

So why do men stay with someone for years, buy a house with them and have kids with them, but never commit to marrying them

Well if you wanted to get married why are you sat there like a puppy waiting just ask

This isn’t what I’m asking. I’m asking if it’s normal to hold onto a ring to just then not propose. I know I can propose

Because the person they are with allows it to happen

if they’d said im not buying a house with you or having kids unless we get married they’d either now be married or split up 🤷‍♀️

i know I can ask myself but this isn’t what I’m posting on here about

Because you let them? He gets all the benefits of marriage without having to actually do it and presumably have any legal obligations to you if he decides to just walk out one day.

Why would you want to marry a guy like this now?

It does seem a bit Wierd OP. Are you both happy? Is there any way you can ask him?

Because they want to be able to leave easily. Because they don't want a divorce when they get found out for cheating or someone they fancy comes along.

It is not. Unless it is a family ring passed on I guess

He changed his mind. Or is waiting for the elusive perfect moment that will never arrive. Or he bought it incase you give him an ultimatum. Or he bought it because he had money and was worried about it getting more expensive. Or he wants you to propose and he then takes the ring out and say I wanted to do it before you.

You don't get the point of this thread. The point is at some point OP's partner has obtained a ring with which to propose. Yet he hasn't. And it's been YEARS.

I hate to ask this but was it definitely bought for you?

Because they’re hoping someone better will come along

Why would they need to?

The woman's given him everything he wants 🤷‍♂️

No, it's not normal. Not from my perspective anyway. I'm a man, and when I was told we were getting married, I bought the ring, and put it on her finger. Best thing I ever did too.

Because they already have what they want

Someone better comes along just as easily if you’re married 🤣

I have friends who have been happily ‘waiting for someone better’ for over 20 years. I have friends who committed to a life together before God only for someone better to come along within a couple of years.

So your nasty little comments don’t even ring true.

How can you tell he’s had the ring for six years? Could he have been planning some kind of “perfect” proposal scenario and never got round to it or did something significant happen during the past six years to put him off proposing (but not enough to call it a day)?

When was your child born? Could he only be there because of the child? I think you need to speak to him - may just be apathy but that’s not good either.

Because they don't want to take the financial hit of a divorce.

How do you know it is ment for you? Maybe he was holding it for a friend who got rejected.

How old is your child? What happened in the year after the ring was apparently bought?

I wouldn’t like this one bit OP.