To buy an engagement ring to NOT propose

[Blahblahgoat]

Let’s say you found your engagement ring. Then let’s say you found out your engagement ring was bought years ago (as in SIX years ago). You have been together 11 years, live together, have pets together and a kid together. He knows you want to get married.

Is it normal to keep hold of a ring for years and then propose? Or is holding onto a ring to just put off using it a huge red flag?

My head is spinning

I agree with this. Based on my friends’ relationships, higher earning women don’t push for marriage in long term relationships either.

So instead of sorting it out like a grown up you and other poster's are coming with random thoughts about why a person has done something instead of just asking

And they say women don't look for drama when there isn't any but sure if it works for you

Maybe you should have got married first before kids and house?

Because they can. Sadly some men are more worried about you taking all their money than they are about leaving kids. They see marriage as more of a commitment/being tied down than having actual human beings. Sadly, some women see having kids as more of a commitment than actual legal protections.

Not everyone wants to get married. I love my partner to bits but I’ll never marry him.

Hey random man! Are you lost? Unfamiliar with the concept of forums and talking to people online?

Yeah I think we need more information here - did you find what looks like an engagement ring in a sock drawer and rather than discuss it with him, post on here instead? Maybe he’s keeping hold of it for a friend? How long ago did you find it?

A bit of context required… (but does seem slightly odd)

Are you the lady who recently found the engagement ring and went on summer holiday but there was no proposal? The thread was full and I have been wondering what happened.

If not you - sorry.

No this is another one. That one is engaged.

If they are the higher earner and have most of the assets then it's possibly a very shrewd decision

Sorry to say but I feel He isn’t going to marry you when he’s got all the advantages of marriage with non of the commitment.
Maybe the ring is to pull out if you say you’ve had enough of him not asking you to marry him. Followed by a long engagement.

In my experience, men usually only marry when they decide they can't do better.

Their definition of better is often questionable.

I'm so sorry OP.
House and kids, ring but never proposed.... if he didn't feel enough to propose to you after your first DC was born, then he's not feeling it; unless he bought the ring in the last fortnight and is planning a 'statement proposal' in the next 4 weeks.
I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for a happy ending.

I’m wondering that too!

Do you own the house together or is it just him? That might be a reason why, protects his asset by not marrying

She did another thread and he did propose in the end, on the last day of the holiday so can't be her!

Why do women agree to have kids without the security of marriage? For most it's very unwise

Just starting wearing it.

See what happens.

I’m picturing his face when he clocks it 😂😂😂

No, that thread was milked to death, then after sending countless private messages another thread was started in 90 days topic I think?

How do you know he bought it 6 years ago?

Frightened to buy a ticket for the train they are riding, frightened to jump off the train they are riding.

Quite frankly I would find the general lack of commitment off putting. Something is stopping him - what is it?

Nice

No it's not normal, but no one except him can tell you why he did this. Maybe he changed his mind, maybe he bought it just in case you said it was a deal breaker, maybe he liked the idea but purchasing the ring made it too real and he got cold feet and put it off. Maybe something happened in the first months to a year after he bought it, could have been nothing to do with you like a friend going through a bad divorce. I could list other maybes, but there's no way of knowing the reason without asking him. You're choices are to bury it and try not to let it harm your relationship or to talk to him. You should be able to talk to your partner about about this, if you can't that points to a broader issue in your relationship.

🤣 And report back with his reaction, at least there'd be no more wondering then.