Page 9 | School bus driver refused to drop my daughter home

Theherringbones · 2024-09-26T20:09:58+00:00

My year 9 daughter gets the school bus service home from school everyday. Its a private service for her school only and It’s about a 50 minute journey. Tonight there is an unusual amount of traffic on the roads. The driver refused to drop my daughter at her (home) stop as it would take him too long to get there. He said he would drop her somewhere 15 minutes away and she would have to have someone pick her up. She was in tears in the phone to me. The usual 50 minute trip took him about 80 minutes. The bus stop she was dropped at is a clear run to our home as it’s the back roads and there was no traffic on them. I know that it would have taken him an extra 15 minutes to drop her home, but it is his job! I was stuck in the middle of the traffic in the opposite direction, trying to collect my other child and had to make all sorts of crazy arrangements with friends to get to her. Luckily I made it just in time. I had words with him and he was completely rude, ignorant, aggressive and arrogant about it. He refused to give me his name and said it would have take him too long to take her home (it would have been an extra time for him) and there wasn’t another option. How can a private bus service that is the only reason she can attend this school, refuse to drop her home? Am I being unreasonable or should he have dropped her home, no matter what?!

mugboat · 26/09/2024 23:16

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:03

I am confused as to how its a safeguarding issue. All the teenagers in our village who get private school buses are not met at the stop by an adult. They often walk another mile or so home from the stop, by themselves. This is because its generally considered acceptable for secondary aged children to be out and about without parents. She was with other kids, her mum had been notified of the need to collect her. He's just a bus driver. He doesn't have parental responsibility for a 14 year old. When shit goes a bit wrong with transport its up to the parents ~who chose a school miles from home~ to collect their kids, not other people.

If your DC got the train to school and there was a signal failure the train driver wouldn't ring all the parents and wait with teenagers. They'd have to ring their parents and wait around until a lift appeared, or ring a cab, or get a bus instead.

Edited

it's a safegaurding issue because the child was dropped off in an area they don't know, 15 min drive from home... so a long walk, and a walk they don't know... I mean the child may have google maps on their phone but may not know how to use it/have data. My 12 yo doesn't know how to navigate herself with google maps 🤷🏼‍♀️

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:17

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:14

Yup, that's why its so important that parents model calm behaviour. My teens often get public transport to the nearest city and it's so important that they know that if something goes wrong it's fine. It can be sorted. You can't let them get to a point where they are afraid to do things by themselves in case something goes wrong or if something does go wrong not only have you got to fix the problem you've got to deal with a panicked kid too.

Nothing bad happened. Op was there to collect the kid. A little talk afterwards about what to do if it happens again is all that is needed.

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It wasn't public transport; it was a designated school run and the driver is responsible for the children on the bus until they are dropped off at the location they are supposed to be dropped off at. This is a safeguarding concern and imo very serious!

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:17

A little talk afterwards about what to do if it happens again is all that is needed.

Well after the bus driver has had his talk I’m sure it won’t happen again!

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:17

you haven't got the first clue what you are talking about, so maybe just zip it?

Except I live in the countryside right now, where almost all the kids get buses to school, many of which are private services This happens & not all teenagers panic & cry. I do know what I'm talking about. HtH.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:17

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 23:03

And if the contracted stop is there and he missed it I was wrong and I apologise. However I'm fairly confident the actual bus contract will be a pick up point, not actually the OP's home.

As a PP said, I'd check the OP all the facts before making a scene, or she could find herself doing a drive to and from a pick-up point for the next 4 plus years.

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Yet again, this is a contractual arrangement with an independent school. If the bus company wants to keep its contract - and you can be pretty sure it does - it won't start imposing arbitrary conditions like this on individual parents.

LilBowWow · 26/09/2024 23:18

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:05

@artictern particularly odd when the blame is placed on the child rather than the adult getting paid to do a job. Do the posters do it because they are bored & want to be contrary or do they lack intelligence? I’m never sure tbh!

I have a theory that’s why reverses are so unpopular. They’ve been tricked into siding with the OP rather than trying to make them feel like shit with snarky comments. The subject isn’t even relevant to some as long as they can stick a boot in.

Moonshiners · 26/09/2024 23:18

I am a very easy going parent and expect my teens (and younger) to get buses and walk most places but we live in a massive city. It can be a bit rough but there is transport.
In your situation I would be completely livid. Such awful behaviour by the driver. It could have gone so wrong. I would complain and complain again.

5475878237NC · 26/09/2024 23:19

I would be very upset at this as an adult. I would not want to be dropped off in the dark, with or without a smartphone that has fluctuating signal in the area, with no plans for someone to collect me, over a two hour walk from home. I also live rurally. Taxis have to be pre-booked hours in advance here. So at 15 or 50 with an epidemic of VAWG this would probably make me cry too if I couldn't make him do his job and take me to my stop.

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:19

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 22:48

It's because my children get a private bus service to and from school that I would be chill about it. I've had 5 years of it now and everything does not always work as it should so having your kids prepared for that is important. Make sure they always have their phone so they can contact you,make sure you are always contactable at the the times you know they are supposed to be on the bus. Stay calm if something crops up your kid will take the lead from you. A quick aw that sucks, wait there/walk to nearby shop/whatever and I'll be with you as soon as I can,

My experience is that shit happens with school buses. On Monday for instance the kids bus just didn't show up, they were 20mins walk from home(where they are supposed to catch the bus), I was about 20mins drive away on my way to work. They rang me when the bus was about 20mins late, I had to turn back, get them, drive 30mins in the opposite direction to my work to drop them to school. They were late, I was late, bus company sent a text at about 1 that day saying that the return bus would be running as usual, no reasons given for the lack of bus in the morning. There was no exploding. No crying. No cross words exchanged. It's a long time to the end of school and if you rely on the bus(and they can refuse to have your child on in future) calm heads all around are needed.

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Shit shouldn't happen with school buses. That's the point of them!

There's no reason to stop taking your child on the bus because the driver failed in his obligations!

mugboat · 26/09/2024 23:20

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:15

This isn't a little child.

Its a teenager.

Can't believe all the replies on here.
It's completely unacceptable for the bus driver to terminate the route early/take a completely different route and miss out stops and drop a child (yes 13 and 14 year olds are still children) at a stop 15 minutes drive from the stop she was supposed to be dropped off at.

This literally does happen with school buses. Private school transport too.

Sometimes its late
On occasion it doesn't turn up.
Sometimes there's a problem and kids have to get off the bus not in the normal place.

Why do we default assume the bus driver is some kind of arsehole who does this out of sheer laziness?

Clearly he'd run late (not his fault) and had somewhere else he was supposed to be/couldnt drive further. If it was due to traffic it may have been unpredictable and impossible to plan for. Secondary aged children often get public buses and trains to school and are expected to be able to handle it if it goes awry.

we assume he's an arsehole because he was rude and unapologetic...

and teenagers are still children.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:20

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:03

I am confused as to how its a safeguarding issue. All the teenagers in our village who get private school buses are not met at the stop by an adult. They often walk another mile or so home from the stop, by themselves. This is because its generally considered acceptable for secondary aged children to be out and about without parents. She was with other kids, her mum had been notified of the need to collect her. He's just a bus driver. He doesn't have parental responsibility for a 14 year old. When shit goes a bit wrong with transport its up to the parents ~who chose a school miles from home~ to collect their kids, not other people.

If your DC got the train to school and there was a signal failure the train driver wouldn't ring all the parents and wait with teenagers. They'd have to ring their parents and wait around until a lift appeared, or ring a cab, or get a bus instead.

Edited

You're yet another person who has missed the fact that this is a private bus and OP pays for her child to be dropped at her home stop, aren't you?

This isn't a matter of being dropped a mile from home, this is a matter of being dropped around 5 miles from home in circumstances where the driver had no idea whether anyone could pick the child up. He does have contractual responsibility for the children on the bus.

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:21

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:17

It wasn't public transport; it was a designated school run and the driver is responsible for the children on the bus until they are dropped off at the location they are supposed to be dropped off at. This is a safeguarding concern and imo very serious!

Edited

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Yeah and like I said this happens with my kids with their private school bus.

Obviously some people are determined to get worked up about it and talk about tales of 'slaughter' so I'll leave you to it but if you aren't teaching your teenagers about keeping calm and dealing with the unexpected now you might want to think about when you will start teaching them.

JanglingJack · 26/09/2024 23:22

How awful for her, I'm not surprised she was upset.

Definitely kick up a stink!

My DD is 15 and if she was dropped on a country lane a 15 minute drive away in the dark, she would be upset and rightly so. I'd be bloody livid!

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:22

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:17

you haven't got the first clue what you are talking about, so maybe just zip it?

Except I live in the countryside right now, where almost all the kids get buses to school, many of which are private services This happens & not all teenagers panic & cry. I do know what I'm talking about. HtH.

I deal with situations like this professionally and I can tell you you are talking out of your backside. THIS SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED!

If this had happened in my place of employment, we would be gearing up for a disciplinary investigation.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:22

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:06

I do pay for the bus. Private bus companies don't tend to pick kids up out of the goodness of their hearts(not that I know of anyway).

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Then you have extraordinarily low expectations for something you're paying for.

rainfallpurevividcat · 26/09/2024 23:23

Sounds like he was incompetent and lazy. Why are posters so desperate to think up excuses for this man? He just couldn't be arsed to do his job properly.

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:23

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:21

Yeah and like I said this happens with my kids with their private school bus.

Obviously some people are determined to get worked up about it and talk about tales of 'slaughter' so I'll leave you to it but if you aren't teaching your teenagers about keeping calm and dealing with the unexpected now you might want to think about when you will start teaching them.

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You don't need to concern yourself with my kids because they never qualified for school transport and in any case they're all adults, but I can tell you unequivocally, this is unacceptable!

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:24

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:08

Come on - I am a grown adult and i would panic if I was dropped a 2hr walk away from my home and expected to walk along roads with no paths with 60mph traffic, in the dark! It’s very normal this would upset a child

Bloody hell do you not get out much?

No one said she had to walk. She's a teenager. She just had to wait at a bus stop there with friends until a lift got sorted.

At exactly this age i got stuck at manchester bus station at 10pm. A coach driver just left me there, having not told me the connecting bus (by same company on one ticket) was meant to get to a relatives house wasnt running. I had to wait 45 mins for a lift. I didn't panic & lose my shit!!

Do you have symptoms indicative of autism?

armadillio · 26/09/2024 23:24

Bellatrixpure · 26/09/2024 22:42

Some people have these things called jobs they need to be at, and other responsibilities at that time.

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Some people should maybe RTFT, OP only just clarified it’s an independent school and that she pays for the bus. That should have been in the OP.

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:24

I grew up in what was then a rough part of London. Think navigating gangs, dealers, junkies, prostitutes & their clients on the school run/daily life. One of the scariest experiences of my life was getting a late train back to uni that went on some huge detour where I had to get off at 1am somewhere I’ve never been or knew with little lighting & barely anyone about. Thankfully a boyfriend came and picked me up and I was an adult.

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:25

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:22

Then you have extraordinarily low expectations for something you're paying for.

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Yet me and my kids are the ones being calm and getting on with life, meanwhile the Ops daughter is crying and she is getting into fights with bus drivers. I know which one I would rather be.

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 23:25

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:17

Yet again, this is a contractual arrangement with an independent school. If the bus company wants to keep its contract - and you can be pretty sure it does - it won't start imposing arbitrary conditions like this on individual parents.

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Just like everything in life it will boil down to price. The current company has bid on the contract. It will be based on the location of the pick-up/drop off, which will likely be a central point. Most of the time they are obliging the parent or child by going the (literally) extra mile. In the same way if there is space on the bus they will transport siblings that don't qualify for transport.

I have lived rurally majority of my life so know that a road up to 1 farm can be a mile long. Providing the child is within 3 miles of that road end, then it is up to the family to arrange further transportation if there is no grace and favour from the bus driver.

Unless the OP is 100% the girl is entitled to collection from her door, I'd suggest she be cautious.

rainfallpurevividcat · 26/09/2024 23:26

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:25

Yet me and my kids are the ones being calm and getting on with life, meanwhile the Ops daughter is crying and she is getting into fights with bus drivers. I know which one I would rather be.

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I know which one I'd rather be. The one who stands up tp lazy, incompetent men.

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:27

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:49

Yes and the contract is normally local pick-up and drop off points. The kids (or their parents) are expected to be able to get to the local collection points. It is the same as expecting pupils within 3 miles of the school to be able to walk in and home.

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And that is the precise location they are supposed to drop off at, not choose a location to suit themselves!

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:27

Why do we default assume the bus driver is some kind of arsehole who does this out of sheer laziness?

Read the OP, there might be something we can infer from the text.

”I had words with him and he was completely rude, ignorant, aggressive and arrogant about it.”