School bus driver refused to drop my daughter home

[Theherringbones]

My year 9 daughter gets the school bus service home from school everyday. Its a private service for her school only and It’s about a 50 minute journey.

Tonight there is an unusual amount of traffic on the roads. The driver refused to drop my daughter at her (home) stop as it would take him too long to get there. He said he would drop her somewhere 15 minutes away and she would have to have someone pick her up. She was in tears in the phone to me. The usual 50 minute trip took him about 80 minutes.

The bus stop she was dropped at is a clear run to our home as it’s the back roads and there was no traffic on them. I know that it would have taken him an extra 15 minutes to drop her home, but it is his job!

I was stuck in the middle of the traffic in the opposite direction, trying to collect my other child and had to make all sorts of crazy arrangements with friends to get to her. Luckily I made it just in time.

I had words with him and he was completely rude, ignorant, aggressive and arrogant about it. He refused to give me his name and said it would have take him too long to take her home (it would have been an extra time for him) and there wasn’t another option.

How can a private bus service that is the only reason she can attend this school, refuse to drop her home? Am I being unreasonable or should he have dropped her home, no matter what?!

I do pay for the bus. Private bus companies don't tend to pick kids up out of the goodness of their hearts(not that I know of anyway).

OP has said she pays for the child to be taken to the home stop. That's clearly a contract.

Shes not 9 years old. Learn to read the thread.

If your DC got the train to school and there was a signal failure the train driver wouldn't ring all the parents and wait with teenagers

How is a private bus service the same as a train?

Come on - I am a grown adult and i would panic if I was dropped a 2hr walk away from my home and expected to walk along roads with no paths with 60mph traffic, in the dark! It’s very normal this would upset a child

Bloody hell do you not get out much?

No one said she had to walk. She's a teenager. She just had to wait at a bus stop there with friends until a lift got sorted.

At exactly this age i got stuck at manchester bus station at 10pm. A coach driver just left me there, having not told me the connecting bus (by same company on one ticket) was meant to get to a relatives house wasnt running. I had to wait 45 mins for a lift. I didn't panic & lose my shit!!

I agree with all the sensible people on this thread. Of course the driver shouldn't leave a child in a random spot miles away from home in the dark. Of course it's a safegaurding issue.
He also made assumptions:
-your daughter's phone was charged and had credit
-one of her parents was in a position to be able to pick up her call
-someone with a car was available and nearby to collect her

If I was you, I'd be really angry/upset.

And I don't understand these mumsnetters defending this obvious safegaurding issue.

And what would have happened if mummy wasn't magically available to collect said teenager (child)? The bus driver would have dumped her at an unfamiliar stop with no way of getting home. It's absolutely shocking and crying is to be expected of a child in this situation.

@Theherringbones you are absolutely right to be very concerned about this and take it further.

My dd is a similar age and in a similar school. We also pay for the bus service. It is a 35 min journey through country lanes. Like you, her home stop is just a few minutes safe walk from our house. There is no way that the driver would leave her in an unfamiliar bus stop and drive off.

if there was a problem with his hours or the bus itself and the journey could not continue, the driver would have to stay with the children until they have all been collected.

@Coruscations

As it is a bus I'd suspect it will be an organised route by the school. In which case I am doubtful it will be a direct to the house kind of deal.

Are you trying to compete with the OP's child over who's tougher?

Some posters on this thread have obviously never left the city. Massive difference being left in the arse of nowhere, patchy signal and fast roads without pavements and being left in a well lit and serviced bus station in Manchester!

@UpendedPineapple imagine that being the way to make yourself feel better about your lot, tragic.

I deal with disciplinary matters including school bus drivers and I would be all over this!

As for those yapping about your DD crying - they should be ashamed of themselves! It is literally HIS JOB to drop your DD off at the designated bus stop! If there is an issue on the run, then he should have contacted his manager back at the depot and sought further instructions!

They are given a list of drop offs and that is what they are meant to do. He can't just unilaterally decide that he doesn't like the look of the traffic!

Get in contact in the morning with whoever is responsible for providing the bus service, whether that is the school or the LA. Trust me, this is NOT acceptable and do not let him away with it!!

At exactly this age i got stuck at manchester bus station at 10pm. A coach driver just left me there, having not told me the connecting bus (by same company on one ticket) was meant to get to a relatives house wasnt running. I had to wait 45 mins for a lift. I didn't panic & lose my shit!!

Nobody cares

Send him the true story of Daniel Moreombe. A 13 year old boy slaughtered by a pedo because the bus driver was in a hurry and didn't stop to pick him up. Child safety trumps any argument.

www.sbs.com.au/news/article/bus-shouldve-stopped-for-daniel-witness/66i9xnqae

They haven't got the faintest clue, that's why!!

The unreasonableness of replies on AIBU is a great irony.

Yup, that's why its so important that parents model calm behaviour. My teens often get public transport to the nearest city and it's so important that they know that if something goes wrong it's fine. It can be sorted. You can't let them get to a point where they are afraid to do things by themselves in case something goes wrong or if something does go wrong not only have you got to fix the problem you've got to deal with a panicked kid too.

Nothing bad happened. Op was there to collect the kid. A little talk afterwards about what to do if it happens again is all that is needed.

People on here really are desperate to make up reasons to put OP in the wrong, aren't they? Why would a bus driver on a 7.15pm route which takes 50 minutes in normal traffic have a child to collect? If you have a driving job you know perfectly well that sometimes you will be held up in traffic, therefore you make arrangements for your caring responsibilities to be covered if you are late. You don't just abandon your passengers, or at least you don't do that if you want to keep your job.

It's utterly irrelevant whether he knows OP's child has autism. OP put entirely appropriate arrangements in place for her, she's entitled to expect that they won't be changed because the bus driver doesn't want to fulfil his contract.

Absolutely! What a way to live 🤷‍♀️

That’s quite young to be alone at 10pm at night, and just because you didn’t panic doesn’t mean others have to react the same.

OP daughter was fortunate someone was there to collect her, after much rushing around and organising by OP. What if no one could have been there? Maybe she’d still be there now who knows

Child safety trumps all arguments.

Well bully for you, you weren't out in the countryside and you haven't got the first clue what you are talking about, so maybe just zip it?

This isn't a little child.

Its a teenager.

Can't believe all the replies on here.
It's completely unacceptable for the bus driver to terminate the route early/take a completely different route and miss out stops and drop a child (yes 13 and 14 year olds are still children) at a stop 15 minutes drive from the stop she was supposed to be dropped off at.

This literally does happen with school buses. Private school transport too.

Sometimes its late
On occasion it doesn't turn up.
Sometimes there's a problem and kids have to get off the bus not in the normal place.

Why do we default assume the bus driver is some kind of arsehole who does this out of sheer laziness?

Clearly he'd run late (not his fault) and had somewhere else he was supposed to be/couldnt drive further. If it was due to traffic it may have been unpredictable and impossible to plan for. Secondary aged children often get public buses and trains to school and are expected to be able to handle it if it goes awry.

Your concern for your daughter is entirely valid but she’s not the only person involved in this. You have no idea what the bus driver or his own family or children might be going through at the moment that means he couldn’t work the overtime on this occasion.

You pay for the service, but how much of that ends up with the driver whose night it was affecting? I’m not saying you shouldn’t complain because there’s a fair argument that traffic is a reasonable thing to expect in a driving job, but most half decent people wouldn’t leave a child if they believed they’d be properly stranded. He must have thought she’d be ok with the other getting off or that you’d be able to make an arrangement in the circumstances.