Page 10 | School bus driver refused to drop my daughter home

Theherringbones · 2024-09-26T20:09:58+00:00

My year 9 daughter gets the school bus service home from school everyday. Its a private service for her school only and It’s about a 50 minute journey. Tonight there is an unusual amount of traffic on the roads. The driver refused to drop my daughter at her (home) stop as it would take him too long to get there. He said he would drop her somewhere 15 minutes away and she would have to have someone pick her up. She was in tears in the phone to me. The usual 50 minute trip took him about 80 minutes. The bus stop she was dropped at is a clear run to our home as it’s the back roads and there was no traffic on them. I know that it would have taken him an extra 15 minutes to drop her home, but it is his job! I was stuck in the middle of the traffic in the opposite direction, trying to collect my other child and had to make all sorts of crazy arrangements with friends to get to her. Luckily I made it just in time. I had words with him and he was completely rude, ignorant, aggressive and arrogant about it. He refused to give me his name and said it would have take him too long to take her home (it would have been an extra time for him) and there wasn’t another option. How can a private bus service that is the only reason she can attend this school, refuse to drop her home? Am I being unreasonable or should he have dropped her home, no matter what?!

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:27

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 22:57

Its very difficult.

What if the bus driver has a child of their own and is already very late to collect them and they are waiting somewhere for him, also at risk of harm? What if he has caring responsibilities to get home for?

Does the bus driver know your DC has autism? You may find that if she can't cope with this sort of transport mishap that most other teenagers would be able to handle, due to her autism, that you will have to have more contingency plans & special arrangements in place for her.

That is his fucking problem - he has a responsibility here!!!

mugboat · 26/09/2024 23:28

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:25

Yet me and my kids are the ones being calm and getting on with life, meanwhile the Ops daughter is crying and she is getting into fights with bus drivers. I know which one I would rather be.

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what a strange hill to die on

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:28

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 23:10

@Coruscations

As it is a bus I'd suspect it will be an organised route by the school. In which case I am doubtful it will be a direct to the house kind of deal.

OP has said it's her home stop which is on a route and which other pupils can use. No-one suggests he was supposed to take her to her front door. I don't understand why you keep banging on about this?

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:28

Yet me and my kids are the ones being calm and getting on with life, meanwhile the Ops daughter is crying and she is getting into fights with bus drivers. I know which one I would rather be.

😆😆

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:29

LittleOwl153 · 26/09/2024 23:00

It's a clear safeguarding breach.
You need to contact whoever organises the bus - not the bus company - it will either be a school or county education dept arrangement. They will be horrified to know that their contractor - who is supposed to be safeguarding trained would dump a kid at a bus stop with no means of getting home when their contract wad to get her home.

If the route was that much of an issue the driver could have explained to dd that the route was an issue and was there any chance she could be picked up from another point on the route. If hmshe could arrange this then he should have waited with her until her pick up arrived. That way he was covering his duty of care. If, as it sounds, he left her at the stop and drove off I would not expect him to be driving a school run again once reported. (And if he is I'd be clear with dd she is to report to you/school any comments he makes as having got away with it he will think he can do/say as he likes sadly.).

If he dropped her off and left her, he should be suspended pending investigation. No ifs or buts.

rainfallpurevividcat · 26/09/2024 23:30

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:27

That is his fucking problem - he has a responsibility here!!!

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Quite. As a parent I wouldn't give a monkeys what the bus drivers issues were. Stupid man.

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:31

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:03

I am confused as to how its a safeguarding issue. All the teenagers in our village who get private school buses are not met at the stop by an adult. They often walk another mile or so home from the stop, by themselves. This is because its generally considered acceptable for secondary aged children to be out and about without parents. She was with other kids, her mum had been notified of the need to collect her. He's just a bus driver. He doesn't have parental responsibility for a 14 year old. When shit goes a bit wrong with transport its up to the parents ~who chose a school miles from home~ to collect their kids, not other people.

If your DC got the train to school and there was a signal failure the train driver wouldn't ring all the parents and wait with teenagers. They'd have to ring their parents and wait around until a lift appeared, or ring a cab, or get a bus instead.

Edited

He is responsible for dropping a minor off at the designated stop. He did not.

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:31

rainfallpurevividcat · 26/09/2024 23:26

I know which one I'd rather be. The one who stands up tp lazy, incompetent men.

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You do that 🤷🏻‍♀️. I'd never pick my kids crying and panicking and fighting with a bus driver, too much drama for me. We all favour different things.

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:32

direct to the house kind of deal.

I have no words.

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:32

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:03

I am confused as to how its a safeguarding issue. All the teenagers in our village who get private school buses are not met at the stop by an adult. They often walk another mile or so home from the stop, by themselves. This is because its generally considered acceptable for secondary aged children to be out and about without parents. She was with other kids, her mum had been notified of the need to collect her. He's just a bus driver. He doesn't have parental responsibility for a 14 year old. When shit goes a bit wrong with transport its up to the parents ~who chose a school miles from home~ to collect their kids, not other people.

If your DC got the train to school and there was a signal failure the train driver wouldn't ring all the parents and wait with teenagers. They'd have to ring their parents and wait around until a lift appeared, or ring a cab, or get a bus instead.

Edited

Are you so obtuse that you think everyone has a school on their doorstep? Seriously??!!

iwfja · 26/09/2024 23:32

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:28

OP has said it's her home stop which is on a route and which other pupils can use. No-one suggests he was supposed to take her to her front door. I don't understand why you keep banging on about this?

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Exactly. I don't understand why several people are banging on about this and going on about rural locations and bus drivers not dropping kids off at the front door of farms a mile away from the main road. It's completely irrelevant. In this case OP's daughter was supposed to be dropped off at her home stop (perhaps this happened to be a stop just outside her house or a couple of hundred metres down the road).
People have invented their own stories about where the actual stop was supposed to be.

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:33

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:31

You do that 🤷🏻‍♀️. I'd never pick my kids crying and panicking and fighting with a bus driver, too much drama for me. We all favour different things.

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You really don't have a clue do you!

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:34

I'd never pick my kids crying and panicking and fighting with a bus driver, too much drama for me. We all favour different things.

Far better to favour spouting sanctimonious crap it seems.

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:34

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:33

You really don't have a clue do you!

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About what? What I would do with an ASD kid in a situation like the OP describes with a private bus company? Well, yes I do, I just choose to handle it differently than others that's all.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:34

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:14

Yup, that's why its so important that parents model calm behaviour. My teens often get public transport to the nearest city and it's so important that they know that if something goes wrong it's fine. It can be sorted. You can't let them get to a point where they are afraid to do things by themselves in case something goes wrong or if something does go wrong not only have you got to fix the problem you've got to deal with a panicked kid too.

Nothing bad happened. Op was there to collect the kid. A little talk afterwards about what to do if it happens again is all that is needed.

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You don't seem to get it that there is a major difference between travelling to a city and being dropped off on a rural road in the middle of nowhere. Yes, OP was there, but it was sheer luck. What if it had been impossible for her to get there? She had to ask her child to wait with other kids, but what if they had been picked up before she got there? What if that gave the local rapist his chance? No-one can guarantee that it's going to be a minor problem that can always be fixed.

The plain fact is that OP paid for a service that should have guaranteed that this didn't happen. She's entitled to be angry about it, not to shrug her shoulders and say well, shit happens, clearly I should have taught you to be calm about it, DD.

TheFireflies · 26/09/2024 23:35

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 23:25

Just like everything in life it will boil down to price. The current company has bid on the contract. It will be based on the location of the pick-up/drop off, which will likely be a central point. Most of the time they are obliging the parent or child by going the (literally) extra mile. In the same way if there is space on the bus they will transport siblings that don't qualify for transport.

I have lived rurally majority of my life so know that a road up to 1 farm can be a mile long. Providing the child is within 3 miles of that road end, then it is up to the family to arrange further transportation if there is no grace and favour from the bus driver.

Unless the OP is 100% the girl is entitled to collection from her door, I'd suggest she be cautious.

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Why do you keep on about the girl being dropped at her door? OP has been very clear she was referring to her home stop, a few minutes walk away from her house.

This is absolutely a safeguarding issue OP. Even if the driver was over his hours this was not the answer. Besides, it’s at least as unsafe to leave children miles from home in the dark than it is to drive slightly over your hours.

YessandNno · 26/09/2024 23:36

Demonhunter · 26/09/2024 22:32

If it was a 15 min walk I'd say that was fair enough, but a 15 minute drive can be quite a distance walking wise, when you think how far you can drive in 15 mins. I do sometimes think people who drive everywhere can forget that. I think a grown adult would be quite miffed about it never mind a 13 yr old! It definitely deserves to be looked into.

I was thinking the same. If I were to get in my car and drive away from my house, after 15 minutes I would be about 9 miles away.

artictern · 26/09/2024 23:37

LilBowWow · 26/09/2024 23:18

I have a theory that’s why reverses are so unpopular. They’ve been tricked into siding with the OP rather than trying to make them feel like shit with snarky comments. The subject isn’t even relevant to some as long as they can stick a boot in.

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Imagine if this were a reverse 😂 That driver would be ripped to shreds. But no, instead it’s ’What if he has a vulnerable child he’s rushing home to?!’, and the pièce de résistance…berating a 14 year old with possible ASD for being scared and upset. Amazing.

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:37

Absolutely!

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:37

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:34

About what? What I would do with an ASD kid in a situation like the OP describes with a private bus company? Well, yes I do, I just choose to handle it differently than others that's all.

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Yeah sure. You don't even understand that many children don't live within a short distance of their school. You don't understand that dropping a child off other than their designated drop-off is a safeguarding issue. You do you!

I have heard all the fucking excuses of the day, trust me.

nocoolnamesleft · 26/09/2024 23:38

Sounds like a total safeguarding fail. It is only good luck that the OP could get there in time.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:39

SometimesCalmPerson · 26/09/2024 23:16

Your concern for your daughter is entirely valid but she’s not the only person involved in this. You have no idea what the bus driver or his own family or children might be going through at the moment that means he couldn’t work the overtime on this occasion.

You pay for the service, but how much of that ends up with the driver whose night it was affecting? I’m not saying you shouldn’t complain because there’s a fair argument that traffic is a reasonable thing to expect in a driving job, but most half decent people wouldn’t leave a child if they believed they’d be properly stranded. He must have thought she’d be ok with the other getting off or that you’d be able to make an arrangement in the circumstances.

The bus driver is paid to do a job for which bad traffic is an entirely expected occupational hazard. If he can't afford to be late he shouldn't take on a late job. Why on earth should OP waste time worrying about totally hypothetical and unlikely scenarios concerning his family? If something awful had happened to OP's daughter, it just isn't good enough for the driver to say "I thought she'd be OK".

NinaPersson · 26/09/2024 23:39

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:34

About what? What I would do with an ASD kid in a situation like the OP describes with a private bus company? Well, yes I do, I just choose to handle it differently than others that's all.

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I think we’ve established how you would have handled it, you’ve banged on about how calm you are enough in this thread. Go you.

Just accept that the OP daughter was understandably upset in this situation and today when the weather out there is terrential and blowing a gale, who would want to be a two hour walk from home.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:41

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:17

you haven't got the first clue what you are talking about, so maybe just zip it?

Except I live in the countryside right now, where almost all the kids get buses to school, many of which are private services This happens & not all teenagers panic & cry. I do know what I'm talking about. HtH.

So what? I have hot news for you, not all teenagers are the same. And, in particular, not all teenagers are on the autistic spectrum.

Bayern · 26/09/2024 23:41

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 23:25

Just like everything in life it will boil down to price. The current company has bid on the contract. It will be based on the location of the pick-up/drop off, which will likely be a central point. Most of the time they are obliging the parent or child by going the (literally) extra mile. In the same way if there is space on the bus they will transport siblings that don't qualify for transport.

I have lived rurally majority of my life so know that a road up to 1 farm can be a mile long. Providing the child is within 3 miles of that road end, then it is up to the family to arrange further transportation if there is no grace and favour from the bus driver.

Unless the OP is 100% the girl is entitled to collection from her door, I'd suggest she be cautious.

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Independent school bus routes pick up and drop off from multiple locations along a route towards the school, not one central location. Parents pay per term for the journey from their "home" stop, not their actual home. OP never said it was from her home, but her home stop. i.e. the one nearest to home.
In my son's case, our nearest stop was still nearly 3 miles from our front door. And that is in not very rural SE England. If he had been dropped at the next stop along, it would be 5 miles from home.

This is not the same as a bus driver doing a favour and dropping kids at the end of the farm track.