School bus driver refused to drop my daughter home

[Theherringbones]

My year 9 daughter gets the school bus service home from school everyday. Its a private service for her school only and It’s about a 50 minute journey.

Tonight there is an unusual amount of traffic on the roads. The driver refused to drop my daughter at her (home) stop as it would take him too long to get there. He said he would drop her somewhere 15 minutes away and she would have to have someone pick her up. She was in tears in the phone to me. The usual 50 minute trip took him about 80 minutes.

The bus stop she was dropped at is a clear run to our home as it’s the back roads and there was no traffic on them. I know that it would have taken him an extra 15 minutes to drop her home, but it is his job!

I was stuck in the middle of the traffic in the opposite direction, trying to collect my other child and had to make all sorts of crazy arrangements with friends to get to her. Luckily I made it just in time.

I had words with him and he was completely rude, ignorant, aggressive and arrogant about it. He refused to give me his name and said it would have take him too long to take her home (it would have been an extra time for him) and there wasn’t another option.

How can a private bus service that is the only reason she can attend this school, refuse to drop her home? Am I being unreasonable or should he have dropped her home, no matter what?!

Thank you all for your views on this. It’s very helpful. To answer some questions:

He actually took a different route than the one he normally takes to avoid traffic.

The school did not contact me about this or make any alternative arrangements for her.

He was planning on leaving her at the stop with the other children who would also get off there.

My daughter being tougher isn’t the issue here. She has suspected (currently undiagnosed) mild autism and was overwhelmed and has only just begun taking the bus two weeks ago and she’s going to be dropped somewhere she doesn’t know in the dark.

The bus service is organised by the school and we pay for her to be dropped at the home stop every day.

It wasn’t out of his way as he chose to take an alternative route and to not finish going to each of his designated stops.

I suspect they can’t refuse to drop her home and that’s why the driver wouldn’t give you his name.

Did you get the number plate?

To be fair, my similar ages kid (14) would probably be in a flap if she was dropped that far from home and it was somewhere she hadn't navigated home from before. She's confident getting buses and trains on her own to certain places but if she was just dropped 5 miles from home somewhere she wouldn't normally get home from independently she'd have a flap.

Quite possibly he had run out of driving hours, this is quite common around here, the run from the bus station to the villages is a 3 hour round trip for the bus drivers so if they get delayed on one of their trips they sometimes have to stop at the last town and turn back instead of carrying on the next 15 mins to the 2 folliwing villages. The taco systems are all digital now and being digital now driving over hours is flagged up more easily than it was 10-20 years ago.

I think you've perhaps misunderstood me
OP was saying he should go the route he's supposed to go. I was agreeing with the OP that he should go the route he's supposed to go

What driven 10 hours by school drop off time??? Very unlikely. He'd need to have started work about 5am

She had her phone, she was able to talk to her mother who got there on time.

And quite honestly, I wouldn't give my name to someone who was "having words with me", who knows what some people might do with the information e.g put it on a thread like this to name and shame.

Even so, he is responsible for the children’s safety.

@Theherringbones take it up with the school. They will know which bus company does which route and that company will know which driver this was and get an explanation for why this happened. We used a private bus service for my son's school, similar journey time. Most of the drivers were retirees driving a minibus a couple of hours a day, not professional drivers in the way people here are thinking. Drivers hours would not even have been close to being a consideration.

Yes I took the number plate and he’s apparently the only drive who does that route. (It’s a late bus)
I will definitely be raising this with the school tomorrow as I can comprehend leaving a child in an unfamiliar spot, in the dark and thinking that it is acceptable.

I agree with other comments, this was a very different situation to normal but he can’t simply refuse to drop a child home because he doesn’t like the look of the traffic!

I'd be furious and raise hell about it at the school. I wouldn't let it go until something was done about it.

What if something happens to the next child he abandons? He was hired to transport this minor and has a duty of care to get her to her destination safely

He was wrong but for your year 9 child to be crying when she’s spoken to you and you e made arrangements for her to be collected is a very extreme reaction

Exactly, all children are different.

we live in the countryside and there is no bus service or train for her to have returned home from where she was dropped. The only way she was getting home from there was via a car.

“Your DD needs to be a bit tougher, she shouldn’t be in tears about it, annoyed yes but not crying.”

not fair to criticise the child for being upset.

"She has suspected (currently undiagnosed) mild autism and was overwhelmed and has only just begun taking the bus two weeks ago and she’s going to be dropped somewhere she doesn’t know in the dark."

How was it dark?

When she told me I was not able to confirm any arrangements as I had to make them whilst being stuck in traffic. I had asked that her friends wait with her when she arrived.

She’s still a child, it’s okay for her to feel overwhelmed by the situation she was in. Many adults get overwhelmed and that’s surely okay too? It happens.

It was the late bus, it leaves after after school activities and arrived at 7:15pm. It was dark.

I imagine she was thrown by the driver saying he'd drop her somewhere random and had a sob when she rang her mum to tell her - before she knew her mum would sort it. Which doesn't seem that odd to me for a 13 year old.

I remember as a very independent and not prone to crying 19 year old, I got stranded when I missed a train connection once. I phoned my dad and burst into tears when he picked up! I was tired and stressed and just had an overwrought moment. It can happen to the best of us.

Awful behaviour from the driver.

I'd complain to the bus company - and make it clear it's an official complaint to which you'd like a full response, before you decide whether to contact the Council about it. It doesn't matter that you don't have the drivers name, they'll know who was on that run on that day.

If I didn't have a satisfactory response I'd contact the school to make them aware and then I'd escalate and report the company to the Council.

Jeez this thread is just a classic of mumsnets obsession with the OP being wrong in all circumstances. But I am also puzzled why this is even a question, you just can’t drop a child in a random place and tell them to call someone. It’s called safeguarding….

So how was my response going against your response?

No it really isn’t 🙄

She’s year 9, so 14 or so, not 9, but nevertheless, the school needs to be aware of his actions and to take it up with the company he works for.

If you're paying for the private bus to take her home then that's absolutely what I would expect - regardless of traffic/weather.

Since she wasn't taken home (in the service you have paid for) I'd absolutely be asking for a refund of that journey. You have paid for a a service which wasn't provided. Get a refund.
(And definitely report the driver!)

God there is some horrible people on this post.
It will be a case of do as I say not as I do.
If it had happened to their child they would explode.