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AIBU?

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Original poster

School bus driver refused to drop my daughter home

492 replies

Theherringbones · 26/09/2024 21:09

My year 9 daughter gets the school bus service home from school everyday. Its a private service for her school only and It’s about a 50 minute journey.

Tonight there is an unusual amount of traffic on the roads. The driver refused to drop my daughter at her (home) stop as it would take him too long to get there. He said he would drop her somewhere 15 minutes away and she would have to have someone pick her up. She was in tears in the phone to me. The usual 50 minute trip took him about 80 minutes.

The bus stop she was dropped at is a clear run to our home as it’s the back roads and there was no traffic on them. I know that it would have taken him an extra 15 minutes to drop her home, but it is his job!

I was stuck in the middle of the traffic in the opposite direction, trying to collect my other child and had to make all sorts of crazy arrangements with friends to get to her. Luckily I made it just in time.

I had words with him and he was completely rude, ignorant, aggressive and arrogant about it. He refused to give me his name and said it would have take him too long to take her home (it would have been an extra time for him) and there wasn’t another option.

How can a private bus service that is the only reason she can attend this school, refuse to drop her home? Am I being unreasonable or should he have dropped her home, no matter what?!

OP posts:
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7
Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:43

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 23:10

@Coruscations

As it is a bus I'd suspect it will be an organised route by the school. In which case I am doubtful it will be a direct to the house kind of deal.

The OP has not once said her DD was supposed to be dropped off at her home! Can't you read?!!

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:44

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:14

Yup, that's why its so important that parents model calm behaviour. My teens often get public transport to the nearest city and it's so important that they know that if something goes wrong it's fine. It can be sorted. You can't let them get to a point where they are afraid to do things by themselves in case something goes wrong or if something does go wrong not only have you got to fix the problem you've got to deal with a panicked kid too.

Nothing bad happened. Op was there to collect the kid. A little talk afterwards about what to do if it happens again is all that is needed.

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Crap.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:44

armadillio · 26/09/2024 23:24

Some people should maybe RTFT, OP only just clarified it’s an independent school and that she pays for the bus. That should have been in the OP.

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Only just? She posted that information almost two hours before your post.

TheFireflies · 26/09/2024 23:46

This thread is a really good example of how many people either don’t properly read a thread before commenting, or just don’t understand what’s actually been said.

dessyh · 26/09/2024 23:46

Suspect he's in the wrong line of work. The school should be furious.

commonground · 26/09/2024 23:47

This is bonkers. If the bus has stops along a route, that is the route it should take, unless it is on a diversion indicated by road signs.

A public bus wouldn't just go off piste because the traffic was bad. It would crawl along the route it is designated no matter how long it takes.

He's not some bloke following the satnav for the quickest way home, avoiding the red. His job is to drop off at the stops on his route.

If that is impossible (sinkhole/cow on road/levelcrossing stuck) he should be kind and courteous and work with what he has to figure out a solution or reassure. Not get arsey.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:47

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:25

Yet me and my kids are the ones being calm and getting on with life, meanwhile the Ops daughter is crying and she is getting into fights with bus drivers. I know which one I would rather be.

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Lovely for your children not to have disabilities. Unfortunately for OP's daughter, she is neurodiverse. But do carry on being smug about your situation.

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:48

This thread is a really good example of how many people either don’t properly read a thread before commenting, or just don’t understand what’s actually been said.

Im not sure where the narrative comes from that MNs users are well educated. Basic comprehension seems beyond many

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:49

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 23:25

Just like everything in life it will boil down to price. The current company has bid on the contract. It will be based on the location of the pick-up/drop off, which will likely be a central point. Most of the time they are obliging the parent or child by going the (literally) extra mile. In the same way if there is space on the bus they will transport siblings that don't qualify for transport.

I have lived rurally majority of my life so know that a road up to 1 farm can be a mile long. Providing the child is within 3 miles of that road end, then it is up to the family to arrange further transportation if there is no grace and favour from the bus driver.

Unless the OP is 100% the girl is entitled to collection from her door, I'd suggest she be cautious.

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OP has said she pays for the bus to take her child to her home stop. She hasn't claimed any entitlement to collection from her door. If she pays for that service, she can be 100% sure her child is entitled to it.

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:49

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:15

This isn't a little child.

Its a teenager.

Can't believe all the replies on here.
It's completely unacceptable for the bus driver to terminate the route early/take a completely different route and miss out stops and drop a child (yes 13 and 14 year olds are still children) at a stop 15 minutes drive from the stop she was supposed to be dropped off at.

This literally does happen with school buses. Private school transport too.

Sometimes its late
On occasion it doesn't turn up.
Sometimes there's a problem and kids have to get off the bus not in the normal place.

Why do we default assume the bus driver is some kind of arsehole who does this out of sheer laziness?

Clearly he'd run late (not his fault) and had somewhere else he was supposed to be/couldnt drive further. If it was due to traffic it may have been unpredictable and impossible to plan for. Secondary aged children often get public buses and trains to school and are expected to be able to handle it if it goes awry.

Bullshit. This isn't public transport; this is a designated school service, paid for by the parents.

The driver literally is an arsehole who did this out of sheer laziness?

Bus drivers with half a brain cell would allow for traffic.

If secondary aged children are getting public transport, then that is a totally different issue.

This driver's company is contracted to drop the OP's DD at her designated spot. No more, no less. He is not at liberty to drop kids off wherever the fucking hell he fancies on a Tuesday or a Friday!!

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:53

SometimesCalmPerson · 26/09/2024 23:16

Your concern for your daughter is entirely valid but she’s not the only person involved in this. You have no idea what the bus driver or his own family or children might be going through at the moment that means he couldn’t work the overtime on this occasion.

You pay for the service, but how much of that ends up with the driver whose night it was affecting? I’m not saying you shouldn’t complain because there’s a fair argument that traffic is a reasonable thing to expect in a driving job, but most half decent people wouldn’t leave a child if they believed they’d be properly stranded. He must have thought she’d be ok with the other getting off or that you’d be able to make an arrangement in the circumstances.

That is totally irrelevant!! The driver is responsible for dropping this child off safely at point A. If the bus driver's whole family were to be wiped out in an instant, it would still be his responsibility to contact his seniors and let them make arrangements to deliver her safely to the designated drop off!

He should never have assumed any of that. He is paid to do a job of work, and that is what he must do!

Abi86 · 26/09/2024 23:54

Who are the 10% of people who think you’re BU?

you pay for a service. The service provider failed to deliver.

as for those who think the driver has met his duty limits. That’s pure speculation and likely wrong. It’s more likely to be associated with overtime penalties and not getting paid by his employers - yes, that’s speculation too. But given this is not a late night shift, I doubt it’s a duty limit issue.

artictern · 26/09/2024 23:54

TheFireflies · 26/09/2024 23:46

This thread is a really good example of how many people either don’t properly read a thread before commenting, or just don’t understand what’s actually been said.

Classic AIBU. Not reading the OP and/or rewriting the OP into an embellished version which they then can get angry about and argue over.

Celt2024 · 26/09/2024 23:54

Celt2024 · 26/09/2024 23:12

Send him the true story of Daniel Moreombe. A 13 year old boy slaughtered by a pedo because the bus driver was in a hurry and didn't stop to pick him up. Child safety trumps any argument.

www.sbs.com.au/news/article/bus-shouldve-stopped-for-daniel-witness/66i9xnqae

Child safety always trumps any argument.

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:55

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:25

Yet me and my kids are the ones being calm and getting on with life, meanwhile the Ops daughter is crying and she is getting into fights with bus drivers. I know which one I would rather be.

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WTF said the child got into a fight? Stop making shit up!

MermaidMummy06 · 26/09/2024 23:56

It's illegal here for a bus driver to do that. They'd be sacked immediately.

A 13 year old child wasn't picked up at a designated bus stop on a busy main road, by a (non school) bus, due to being behind schedule they decided to not stop. Child WAS seen by driver. Child was never seen again. So yes, it's a safeguarding issue.

Treesinmygarden · 27/09/2024 00:01

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 23:25

Just like everything in life it will boil down to price. The current company has bid on the contract. It will be based on the location of the pick-up/drop off, which will likely be a central point. Most of the time they are obliging the parent or child by going the (literally) extra mile. In the same way if there is space on the bus they will transport siblings that don't qualify for transport.

I have lived rurally majority of my life so know that a road up to 1 farm can be a mile long. Providing the child is within 3 miles of that road end, then it is up to the family to arrange further transportation if there is no grace and favour from the bus driver.

Unless the OP is 100% the girl is entitled to collection from her door, I'd suggest she be cautious.

Show quote history

Only the OP said her DD was to dropped off at a designated point near to her home.

5475878237NC · 27/09/2024 00:01

That's awful. I hadn't heard of what happened to the poor boy. How irresponsible.

TotHappy · 27/09/2024 00:03

Please tell us what the school/bus company says tomorrow, OP!

Treesinmygarden · 27/09/2024 00:04

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:27

Why do we default assume the bus driver is some kind of arsehole who does this out of sheer laziness?

Read the OP, there might be something we can infer from the text.

”I had words with him and he was completely rude, ignorant, aggressive and arrogant about it.”

That exacerbates the whole situation! We don't expect our drivers to be rude to parents!

Treesinmygarden · 27/09/2024 00:07

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:41

So what? I have hot news for you, not all teenagers are the same. And, in particular, not all teenagers are on the autistic spectrum.

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And autism notwithstanding, the contractor is obliged to drop the child off at the agreed location.

Treesinmygarden · 27/09/2024 00:21

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:48

This thread is a really good example of how many people either don’t properly read a thread before commenting, or just don’t understand what’s actually been said.

Im not sure where the narrative comes from that MNs users are well educated. Basic comprehension seems beyond many

I have a friend who many years ago said that the internet was ruined when the masses got full access.

I'm inclined to believe she was correct.

Treesinmygarden · 27/09/2024 00:24

@Theherringbones I've got quite wound up answering stupid posts on your thread because I absolutely know what I am talking about and they really got my goat.

I hope that you contact the body that contracts the bus operators tomorrow morning and demand some answers. I don't care what anyone here has said to you, it is not acceptable, and it must not happen again!

Wendysfriend · 27/09/2024 00:28

This is shocking. You are paying for a service and you are not getting it. He is paid to drop your child near her home not leave her 2 hours walk away. You put her on this bus for a reason and it's no use to you if the driver doesn't feel like carrying out his job, shit happens traffic happens he needs to fulfill what he is getting paid for. speak to the school or whoever runs the bus. I can't believe some people on here would be happy letting their child walk that distance alone on a secluded road, the world has truly gone mad !

Red0 · 27/09/2024 00:30

Definitely take it up with the school. Leaving your DD over 2 hours walk from home is unacceptable.