AIBU to consider medicating my son past his needle phobia?

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He needs a pretty important blood test. We've been trying for over 6 weeks, and have been to a phlebotomist 13 times so far. He is 15. The issue is not pain, lack of trust, lack of understanding. The thought of the needle makes him clench his arm. He cannot stop this and we can't stop him. He cannot or will not use any of the strategies we've practiced, like looking away or using headphones. He is extremely stubborn and, despite years of coaching, has a very fixed mindset and negative outlook. I'm scared for his future.

We've tried every parenting approach you could think of and we're exhausted. This is only 1 issue among several our family are dealing with.

Would you give him Kalms or Phenergan (sp)? He is already on a magnesium supplement. We've tried Rescue Remedy.

Im surprised the GP hasn't recommended a mild sedative if he needs this blood test. I'd definitely give him something to take the edge off but get their advice first.

What does his medical team advise?

I think you'd be wrong to do this without their support.

You also need to think hard about medical consent. I understand you want him to have this important test but he's 15, he has the right to give his own consent.

If those will work as a placebo then fine use that to get him through the upcoming needle, but then get him therapy. In his life he's going to occasionally have a blood test so better to deal with it now.

The nhs will not sedate in these circumstances. That's why I started looking for a sedative myself!

They may not sedate but they will and do help. Has he had the numbing cream prescribed so he can’t feel it go in? Has he had a series of appointments to reduce the anxiety and teach him how to tolerate the procedure?

What has the GP said?

Is there any chance that you being in the room/process could be counterproductive and he might do better if treated directly by the medical team?

This is not meant as criticism, but sometimes kids are different when with professionals. Like the way some eat at nursery but not at home!

But what are the consequences of not having the test?

Have you considered specialist therapy?

How about a Buzzy? They're used for children with needle phobia.

https://www.buzzy4shots.co.uk/whichbuzzyytochoose.html

Won't the GP just give him 2 diazepam for this?

Hi OP I work in a children's hospital & come across this loads! Can you be referred to your local children's hospital for this test? They usually have a play therapist who could do some work with your son to allow him to have the blood test done safely. Alternatively can he see a psychologist? If this is one of many things he won't or can't budge on he might need some more help than a parent can give. As hard as it is, please try not to be too stressed with him, he can't help it. Fear takes over the body & so many children feel this way.

Any chance it can be done with a finger prick instead ? You can get quite a lot of blood out of some correctly and for some tests it’s fine to do it that way ?

What is that? I looked at the link but I'm none the wiser

edit - ignore me I missed the menu found it now

I really feel for you and your son as I have been through this with my son. Mine was totally needle phobic --- it's really hard to describe just how frightened he was without seeing him. Unfortunately for him he developed crohns disease with requires many blood tests, needles etc.
I went through 6 years of hell with very little help from the medical team, they would just say he was badly behaved, old enough to know better, little children were better than him, etc, etc. Obviously none of this helped his mental health or phobia.
We tried everything, emla cream, play therapists, buzzy. None helped

He detoriated to the extent he was admitted to hospital and the only thing that finally helped was a very good child psychologist who took it slowly step by step and also worked with his medical team at the same time.

Ten years later he even does his own injections and no problems with blood tests!

I can sympathise a lot because I have also always had a fear of needles. It is absolutely horrible and while I know it's irrational, I can't control it. It has got slightly better with age although it's still a struggle. I wouldn't categorise it as being stubborn or having a negative mindset and don't think that's a fair characterisation. Have you asked him if he would like to try something like Kalms? While I doubt it'll do anything, if it helps as a placebo it's worth a try.

I would look at hypnosis first.

Has he accessed a play therapist who is trained to help with these things?

to be honest I doubt kalms type things will touch the sides with a proper phobia like this

Mine is like this he is not and easy stick which makes things way WAY worse than they need to be I also have an adult dd that just refuses blood tests and really needs one

Someone up thread mentioned the numbing cream. DS has had to have many blood tests over the years and for us the cream added massively to the anxiety because it going on meant he then had 40 minutes of extra worry as he knew it was closer.

we use the freeze spray now which works instantly. I’m not for a second suggesting the spray will fix all of his issues but avoiding the cream may help a little

You need to attend your local children's hospital for a blood test. He should then be able to work with a play therapist to help overcome his phobia. This can be worked through without the need for medication.

He is 15 and gillick competent.

Unless the blood test is literally life and death (or he has unmentioned SEN), just explain the importance of the test to him, or get the doctor to, and let him decide what to do.

My bet is that if he feels in control and in charge, he will overcome the phobia.

Talk to Therese Langford of https://www.facebook.com/calmmindhypnotherapy - she works exclusively with children.

I would be charging him all that lost appointment time. 13 appointments for a single blood test.

He's 15- you send him for his appointment and he cracks on with it. You've clearly been babying him. If he gets sicker, I'd let him feel the effects. Natural consequences. My 3yo understands the need for blood tests/ injections and doesn't waste everyone's time.

For us it adds a stage and a “buy in” from ds to the process. We had an extremely successful course of appointments working towards the blood test with a nurse. Worth the effort though

Sadly I'd say I agree with this.

He's 15. Yes it can be overwhelming but 13 appointments for one blood test is extortionate. What's he going to do if (god forbid) he got ill in the future? Or if he and his future partner needed to do fertility treatments etc.? And he had to inject his partner or go for blood tests himself?

😱😱😱 wow

More helpfully (I hope): OP my DC has had a lifetime of needles and now has a severe phobia. The finger prick as a PP mentioned above is a good compromise while your DS works on his phobia. They offer it on the children's ward at our local hospital- would be worth investigating.

Oh I feel for him! I see a lot of needlephobic patients and you can tell they are genuinely petrified. Obviously 13 appointments isn’t great time and cost wise, but if he’s that phobic then I can’t imagine he’s wasting the appointments for the fun of it. Is it the actual needle or more the environment/strangers that he is phobic of?

Do you have any friends or family members who are nurses or phlebotomists that he has a good relationship with and might trust to have a go in the comfort of his own home? I have bled friends/family (and their children) at home in these circumstances because they know I’m a good stick and will take my time to find a decent vein before I go anywhere near them with an actual needle.