AIBU to consider medicating my son past his needle phobia?

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He needs a pretty important blood test. We've been trying for over 6 weeks, and have been to a phlebotomist 13 times so far. He is 15. The issue is not pain, lack of trust, lack of understanding. The thought of the needle makes him clench his arm. He cannot stop this and we can't stop him. He cannot or will not use any of the strategies we've practiced, like looking away or using headphones. He is extremely stubborn and, despite years of coaching, has a very fixed mindset and negative outlook. I'm scared for his future.

We've tried every parenting approach you could think of and we're exhausted. This is only 1 issue among several our family are dealing with.

Would you give him Kalms or Phenergan (sp)? He is already on a magnesium supplement. We've tried Rescue Remedy.

I had problems with needles as a teen as well. I wasn't keen on injections, but blood tests were absolutely awful as I have hiding veins and it often took 6+ attempts to get bloods from me, from multiple locations. I would get faint and have to lie down - quite understandable in those circumstances. I have had multiple horrible bruises on my arms and hands. I wouldn't call it a phobia though, as though terrified, I could overcome the urge to run away or move my arm.

During pregnancies, taking blood was much, much easier, and thankfully isn't a problem now, but I always tell the phlebotomist which vein is usually successful and that I need to lie down. I've even managed to donate blood now.

My son has nice, easy veins and his fear is nothing to do with it hurting or the process itself - he is brave and strong in other situations.

Sorry, this post was just a rant.

Seriously?

I've had needle phobia since I was about 10, I believe due to having to have 3 injections one after the other. Might sound a small thing but that's what I can trace it back to. Since then I won't have injections. I haven't had any at all and I'm 68. I have needed blood tests in my 60s and fortunately found I can manage to do finger prick blood tests. Not sure I would have been able to deal with that in my teens, but I think it has to do with having control of the situation.

There's no way trying to force, shame or let someone 'deal with the consequences' actually works in helping a phobic person. Phobias aren't logical, so very hard to deal with. Kindness and baby steps are what helps the most.

There's some absolutely bonkers responses on here. Lacking all compassion and grace, poor bastards, must be awful in their brains to think like that.

Do you know anyone with a glucometer? Or could you buy one? Would he tolerate a lancet in his finger to check his blood levels fasting and after meals? It's not an Hba1c but it would give more info and might help him feel more in control of the situation.

I had an awful needle phobia which started when I was stung in the face by a wasp at school when I was 5 and then taken to the doctors who gave me a jab. Over the years it has gotten better by lying down for blood tests, using Emla cream to numb for vaccinations, not looking at the needle etc. I fully sympathise and perhaps your son is terrified be the prospect of having to deal with injecting, if it turns out he does have diabetes. I'd do as others are suggesting and try and get it done at a children's ward / hospital.

Can he have his urine checked? If his urine dip is negative for glucose and ketones then it's unlikely he has diabetes. A blood test is still needed to rule it out fully but it might help him be less anxious if he had that reassurance first.

Totally agree with children's opd, emla cream and hypnotherapy options. Sorry some have been so unkind on this thread.

DS is 11, autistic and also currently refusing a blood test. He also refused to have a covid vaccination.

I have never made a big deal about needles, he's never been bribed or rewarded for it. He just won't agree to it, and we can't physically force him. We've explained why the blood test is needed and how it could help him.

I actually have a very mild needle phobia for blood tests, none for vaccinations. Despite many, many years of doctors having difficulty getting blood out of me, having to make multiple attempts (apparently I have awkward veins) my slight aversion was caused by having been with DH when he was severely dehydrated and medical staff had great difficulty getting any blood out of him, with many repeated attempts that caused DH a lot of pain.

Hope something works OP, and good on you for now being a blood donor.

I think some of these comments are harsh. A phobia isn't necessarily rational. I have a fear of heights, probably irrational to many people but a huge fear to me. Needles are no different.

OP Has he been in the room when someone else has bloods done? To see that there is nothing to worry about.

OP, you said he won't look away from the needle, is that right?

How about if you rigged up way of blocking his view? I'm imagining if he put his arm through the curtains they have round cubicles at hospital and clipped it together above and below his arm so he really can't see anything.

Would he agree to sit there with his arm out until he relaxed and then they go for it without saying anything? Perhaps combined with numbing cream / spray so he doesn't flinch / recoil?

Eta: that wasn't supposed to quote, sorry!

The thought of the needle makes him clench his arm.

Do you mean he bends his elbow up, so they can't take the blood from there, OR, he is clenching is hand?
If its the arm he is bending up, I'd either ask if his wrist could be lightly tied onto the chair, to stop is bending up. Or, ask if they can take the blood from the back of his hand.
I too was going to suggest the use of emla, but others have said that too.

I can’t believe some of these comments in 2024! Absolutely ignorant and nasty individuals who are too thick to understand phobias and mental illness. The same arseholes that tell someone suicidal to go for a walk and they’ll feel better.

OP’s son is not doing this on purpose! I’m sure if he had a genie in a lamp he’d wish not to be terrified of needles.

They can't bleed him without saying anything, or tie his arm down. No ethical HCP would do that.

Ridiculous

It's really hard to love him through this, which he obviously needs, when I'm so frustrated and worried. I feel like it's my fault that he can't do this because I have failed him. I do know that is illogical and not factual. You really need to get this under control op, could his dad go instead?

This sounds too much for a teen to handle.

Sounds tough

I have to inject alot. What works so amazingly is putting a very hot water bottle over the area. It almost entirely numbs it. Blood draws hurt me alot.

Can you ask son to try this and guarantee him the best phlebotomist they have there. And speak to them about ensuring you have the most competent.
Some just can't do it well.
You could also talk to him about taking an old fashioned anti histamine.

One good experience will hopefully remove future terror.

I'd personally bribe him because what else can you do if he is so strongly against it.

I bribed my son. He's had some horrible experiences. Before one operation they were wriggling the needle about in his hand and after that has been a bloody nightmare. He's Autistic.

We talk through a strategy after that. The strategy is - heat ( like hot water bottle, loads of water, don't look, we'll watch something on phone, we'll ask for the best phleb, we'll also buy this great reward).

Some may disagree but it worked. The good experiences then replaced the bad one for future events.

We have had similar with my son (although he's a lot younger). Have you discussed them taking the blood from his wrist or hand. Weirdly it's more painful but easier to get a vein.

What's the freeze spray? (I also have a needle phobia.)

Emla cream amd he needs to engage with distraction strategies (headphones, watching a phone video etc or impose consequences. He is 15, its a phobia but not engaging with techniques to get around it sounds like not trying

The fact you are "furious" at the optician for speaking the truth in front of a 15yr old about the 15yo pretty much shows you are a molly coddler of the highest order.
Why on earth wouldn't the optician speak freely in front of 15yr old patient about their health?

I find it so odd you are even at an opticians appointment with a teenager. He's 15 not 5.

Of course he can have a blood test without you! He can specifically request you not to be there and you'd have no way of being there.

https://www.evelinalondon.nhs.uk/resources/patient-information/pain-relief-during-blood-tests.pdf

it’s the one mentioned there. It’s sprayed just as they start the test and the area feels normal straight after. It has been a game changer for us as my son has to have regular bloods done.

Private gp for small batch of diazepam. Or borrow from a friend.

Lidocaine patch put on several hours before hand. Freeze spray.

Good luck. It's rotten and only they can do it.

Well because now the teenager is terrified of this blood test probably in part because he’s afraid it’ll lead to a diagnosis and even more needles in his life! Phobias aren’t rational. He could have said he was concerned about something and been a bit more non specific.

I don't understand why he can't be prescribed some diazepam to help him. I am prescribed it for my dental phobia. Dental treatment is essential, I need to get there, and if a couple of diazepam ensures that happens then that's a win as far as I'm concerned. People are also often prescribed diazepam for MRIs due to fear. Not sure why this is any different (unless there's a medical reason he can't have it).