Staying at the dinner table until everyone has finished

[ForkingKnivesAndSpoons]

For normal everyday family dinners at your house, does everyone just leave the table once they've finished? And I'm not talking about expecting others to wait for extra slow eaters, I mean when the "slow" person (me) takes a total of 10-15 mins to eat their dinner?

YABU - Yes it's normal for the slowest eater to be left sitting alone at the table
YANBU - It's rude to up and leave them there alone

People get up in our house. But DD knows to stay if we're at granny's. DH always gets up but he clears and cleans so no one is complaining.

I am a slow eater I do not want people sat there waiting me to finish, if we are speaking of normal family dinners

Go away and leave me alone please!

10-15 min isn't slow. I'd allow someone at least that much time. I have toddlers who stop and start and we have busy evenings so sometimes I do stand up and start clearing away in the kitchen which is right by the dining room and open plan.

Agree with pp, 10-15 minutes is not slow. I am a slow eater, but it doesn't take me half an hour to eat a meal, so I do expect people to wait for me. If they want to shovel food in at speed, swallow without chewing and ignore conversation, I'd rather not eat with them at all.

It’s very rude to leave. Dinner time is quality time at the end of the day. People seem to have lost all sense of basic decorum and consideration for others and living in community, it makes me really sad.

It's basic good manners to wait until everyone is ready before starting, and to wait until everyone has finished before leaving.

No one leaves the kitchen til everything is cleared away, washing up done and put away. If you don't want to be the one doing it all then stay at the table with the slowest.

Dd is 4 so she asks politely (well, is reminded to ask politely) and goes off to play. Adults stay.

When we eat together we normally stay until long past people have finished eating as we’re talking. It’s a social occasion.

If we’re in a rush, we normally eat on the hoof.

Adults usually stay as chatting. Kids are allowed to leave.

We all stay at the table until everyone has finished, its an opportunity for everyone to spend quality time together. Its respectful as someone put time and effort into cooking the meal.

Exception being very little kids who have to ask nicely "please may I leave the table?" before going to play.

Stay unless politely excused or someone has to log back into work because they are on a schedule and only have a 30 minute break, for example.

No one starts until we are all seated and served. No one leaves until we've all finished. Been that way with multiple kids. Would be offended if people got up when they'd finished and others were still eating.

People stay, but children (and occasionally adults) can ask to be excused/to leave the table. Usually that’s what happens - children leave and adults stay and chat with the slow-eater. If the slow-eater doesn’t want them to, then they can leave too.

It’s a courtesy, not an iron rule.

Stay.

Unless the last person is a twat! 🤣

For dinner, everyone stays till everyone is finished eating ,has always been that way in our house. I think that's a basic life skill/ politeness that I want my children to learn.

Lunch and breakfast, you can go when you're finished (no coming back after though!)

Oh dear, our house is not typical here. We have had to drum into ds what to do elsewhere but it doesn’t apply at home. We live with fil who has advanced Parkinson’s. It takes him an extremely long time to eat and involves a lot of coughing and spluttering due to excess saliva. We politely eat pretty fast and then leave him to it so as not to make him uncomfortable watching (or have our food coughed on, which has happened). All not ideal but what can you do? He won’t go out to eat anymore as embarrassed so at least we do eat together every day still.

Missingpate you are teaching your DS compassion and respect, don’t worry about a minor table manners anomaly!

One of my family has misophonia so we rarely eat at a table together, it would be far too stressful.

Depends - if the slowest eater isn’t feeling well and would like to be left in peace to finish their meal then leave them. If they’re eating at normal speed and everyone else is from the shovel it in school of eating then it would be nice for everyone to stay.

Starting to eat is more clear cut. It’s rude to start before everyone is there and it’s also rude to make people wait ages for you.

Of course you stay. Mealtimes are shared social occasions, not to see who can shovel their food in fastest and then rush off.

You are teaching DS an amazing skill: empathy. It will help him get far further in life than sitting at a dinner table ever will.

We all sit and wait for everyone to finish eating. Letting you food go down etc. It drives me mad when the kids jump up to go back to their rooms/screens. They're told to sit and wait. It also ties in with short attention spans- I want to encourage our children to slow down.

Oh god my kids eat in their bedrooms 😬😬

I laughed at this one haha
Our eldest son (20) started eating in his room a couple years ago but we've recently renovated so he doesn't anymore.
He doesn't always sit with us to eat though, sometimes he eats later.

We don't have a rule exactly, I mean no shovelling food in and rushing off as quick as you can but also once you're done you can leave. Usually if DH or I finish first we start cleaning the kitchen so we're still there anyway.

We eat together but the youngest leave the table when done. No point them sitting there bored and it leaves the rest of us in peace who want to talk and not be interrupted constantly!