Staying at the dinner table until everyone has finished

[ForkingKnivesAndSpoons]

For normal everyday family dinners at your house, does everyone just leave the table once they've finished? And I'm not talking about expecting others to wait for extra slow eaters, I mean when the "slow" person (me) takes a total of 10-15 mins to eat their dinner?

YABU - Yes it's normal for the slowest eater to be left sitting alone at the table
YANBU - It's rude to up and leave them there alone

We stay at the table and chat, except the night when the dds have to eat quickly then get ready for a club, when an exception is made.

For "long" meals, like Sunday lunch with gm, they ask to get down and are always allowed.

I think it depends on your family. We were mainly brought up by our grandparents. Me and my brother would have to ask my grandad if we could leave the table. Then obviously sit there if he said no. Friends found this weird

We expect some waiting until most have finished. DS1 can take some time longer than everyone else so I don't make DS2 hold on until the end. I'll normally ask DS1 if he's happy to be left if he's being significantly slower (he usually is happy to carry on alone)

Always stay until everyone has finished the main course. I tend to stand and clear while anyone who wants pudding eats that, and make a cup of tea for myself at the same time.

We sometimes get up, but only to do the washing up. We would still be in the same room tidying.

If it’s Christmas dinner or similar then everyone stays, but if it’s just at the kitchen table then people will announce their departure when they’ve finished - ‘Right, I’m off to finish my homework/take the dog for a walk/to the gym, etc., then they put their plates, glass and cutlery in the dishwasher. Those that want to hang around and chat do. Are you expecting people just to sit and wait for you to finish your meal every single night?

One of my annoyances in life! In laws will start eating before people have been served, or even sat down, and then will just up and leave as soon as they're done.

Drives me crazy.

That and eating standing up, when there's a seat available!

It’s very casual here and one of the kids will leave before everybody has finished. Usually my ND son.
When we have guests it’s different and both ask would ask if it’s ok for them to leave the table. If we’re at someone else’s house, they stay and wouldn’t ask to be excused. We don’t often accept dinner invitations though unless DS is very comfortable with our hosts, as it’s not worth him becoming dysregulated.

It’s more important for us to eat and spend time together rather than enforce rules that don’t make life better.

She's only taking 15 minutes!!!
It's not like she's trying to keep them behind for an hour... maybe 5-10 minutes max!

I wouldn't expect anyone to sit there whilst the slowest eaters are finishing their food. My kids eat slower so whilst they are still eating I clear up.

Yes we all wait until we are all finished. Basic manners surely?

Very casual in my house, people leave when they want.

Everybody generally waits in our house. If a single person is being especially slow, the faster eaters are dismissed from the table together once we've established that the slow eater will be a while longer.

To me, leaving early without good reason (ie you have to be somewhere) is rude and disrespectful to the cook and people eating with you.

Just feels like "oh well, I've eaten, I have e absolutely no reason to be here now." So like, no appreciation for the cook, no wanting to chat with others.

It makes it feei entirely functional, rather than social., and as I genuinely believe we eat together as an intrinsic part of our instincts/biology - it's a global commonality among humans to get together and eat but it really annoys me when people "dine and dash".

As children we had to ask to leave the table. Then it is up to the adults.

So weird as I was going to pose this question today, based on a very uncomfortable moment with my in-laws yesterday who expected us to make our toddler sit in his high chair while we finished.
I got a speech about how another family member makes their child eat everything on his plate and doesn’t get down until he’s done (he is a few years older than my child).
Toddler has finished his meal and getting shouty and screamy so I let him down. (We were at home). The comments and looks I got made me feel like such a failure.

Yes we stay seated until all have eaten at the table or sitting in the living room, it's good manners. If for any reason you need to leave quicker you apologise

Very casual at ours, leave when you want unless it's a special occasion then we will all stay seated.

We are remain seated. But we remain seated for some time after everyone has finished too, as we’re chatting.

My husband and I usually eat in different rooms 😂.

He'll be eating slowly at the kitchen table, I'll be eating quickly at the breakfast bar by the french windows in another room 😂.

If we eat together though I'll always get up first and clean the dishes away as he's a very slow eater, and he explained to me that he doesn't like eating fast (normal) as he doesn't enjoy it.

We are usually all chatting and having a laugh over dinner so we're generally still seated after everyone has finished. With the exception of ND child who finds it a major struggle and will leave the table after they've eaten.

@lololulu

My dc aren't allowed food in bedrooms and they are adults. Things go rotten (even the odd sandwich has!)

We all eat in separate places. I did used to be made to stay at the table as a child though. I never understood the point it.

In general, we stay. Sometimes DH chewing every mouthful what feels like a billion times drives me so crazy that I start washing up 😁

We all stay and chat.

So rude to get up and leave!