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AIBU?

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7 year old obese. Why haven't gp or school said anything

98 replies

UserNameChangedAgainAndAgain · 22/09/2024 21:15

My NDN young lad , turned 7 early August weighs 8.5 Stone. Wears age 15 clothes which as you can imagine are miles too long. He really struggles with walking to school, 4 min walk. He has constant issues with breathing, croup , wheezing and bronchitis.
He had a sleepover here last night and honestly he sounded like a snorting pig asleep. I don't mean that nasty, it's the only way I can describe it. Dh and dc are snorers but that was something else.

My ndn always says how he just eats the wrong thing but it's also the sheer quantity. ( he ate a whole large domino's she said one day because school meals at lunch were too small)
I feel for him It's so sad.

But I wonder why school have never said he struggles in PE which he does as he cries on pe days.
Or why the gp has never said about it.

It's neglectful imo.

Ndn said he refuses fruit and veg. But last night he was asking to have fruit out the bowl here.
The poor lad was struggling running in the garden with the dcs playing tag and wanted to quit after less than 5 minutes to rest.

I've tried to help as tactfully as I can. But gets no where.
His poor body , joints and heart

Why haven't school or gp mentioned it to get them help

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 22/09/2024 21:17

Maybe they have? Mum sounds deluded so she may not be listening. Where’s his dad?

saltinesandcoffeecups · 22/09/2024 21:18

My money is on the mum being willfully ignorant of what the school and GP has said.

fossilgap · 22/09/2024 21:18

Ndn?

Neodymium · 22/09/2024 21:19

fossilgap · 22/09/2024 21:18

Ndn?

Going to say the same thing.

MirandaWest · 22/09/2024 21:19

fossilgap · 22/09/2024 21:18

Ndn?

Next door neighbour

CutiePatooties · 22/09/2024 21:19

fossilgap · 22/09/2024 21:18

Ndn?

I presumed next door neighbour

Brownstains · 22/09/2024 21:19

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Brownstains · 22/09/2024 21:20

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UserNameChangedAgainAndAgain · 22/09/2024 21:20

Dad doesn't live there. He sees him around every 4 weeks .

When I've said before oh he hates pe doesn't he , have the school said why. She says 'no nothing'

The last 2 bouts of croup the gp has prescribed over phone without going in. So maybe they haven't seen him in a while.

I just want her to get the help for him

OP posts:
pinkfleece · 22/09/2024 21:21

I'm sure they have.

I'm a GP. Would you like to hazard a guess about the abuse and complaints we get when we mention this? And the zero support from paediatrics/social services?

UserNameChangedAgainAndAgain · 22/09/2024 21:21

pinkfleece · 22/09/2024 21:21

I'm sure they have.

I'm a GP. Would you like to hazard a guess about the abuse and complaints we get when we mention this? And the zero support from paediatrics/social services?

I can imagine.

OP posts:
magicscares · 22/09/2024 21:21

Could there be a medical issue/ medication causing weight gain that you aren’t aware of?

fossilgap · 22/09/2024 21:21

Oh I thought it was something neuro

CutiePatooties · 22/09/2024 21:23

If you’ve tried to mention it tactfully and have got nowhere, then perhaps the GP and school have already tried and got nowhere.

Sdpbody · 22/09/2024 21:23

It's abuse. Pure and simple.

UserNameChangedAgainAndAgain · 22/09/2024 21:23

No. Were pretty close. And she's an over sharers so she would say. He honestly just gets fed so much.

Daily after school she gives him a huge bag of haribo and a bag of chocolate
( which instantly makes my kids say I'm mean as I don't lol- they do get sweets fwiw just not huge qty and regular)

OP posts:
BlackOrangeFrog · 22/09/2024 21:23

magicscares · 22/09/2024 21:21

Could there be a medical issue/ medication causing weight gain that you aren’t aware of?

The boy eats entire fucking pizzas... this isn't a medical issue.

Pandasnacks · 22/09/2024 21:24

It's weird that you no so much about this kid, down to his contact with his dad and HOW the doctor prescribed medication, and the fact school have not commented... yet you just call them your NDN. How are you so sure you no so much?

bakewellbride · 22/09/2024 21:24

I'm sure the school / Gp have mentioned it. Some people are just stubborn or stupid.

I know someone who won't vaccinate her kids. Health visitors, GPs etc have told her to until they're blue in the face but she will not listen!

There's not a lot that can be done unless the parents are willing to listen to advice and act on it. Sadly.

Dweetfidilove · 22/09/2024 21:24

One of my closest friends has a daughter who's been obese since forever. The school did mention it in early years and she hit the roof. 'Can you believe the effing cheek of them cling my child fat, blah blah blah'.

The school and the GP will have said, but the parents will likely ignore.

Brownstains · 22/09/2024 21:25

This reply has been deleted

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UserNameChangedAgainAndAgain · 22/09/2024 21:26

Pandasnacks · 22/09/2024 21:24

It's weird that you no so much about this kid, down to his contact with his dad and HOW the doctor prescribed medication, and the fact school have not commented... yet you just call them your NDN. How are you so sure you no so much?

Because I'm not mentioning names so just said NDN which they are.. We're close obviously as he sleeps here occasionally to give his mum a break . As I said she's an over sharer with everything

OP posts:
User79853257976 · 22/09/2024 21:27

How do you know school and GP haven’t said anything? They get weighed in reception.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/09/2024 21:28

Why would they say anything more over and above the weight letter and every medical appointment? It's obvious and she's already aware, hence the blaming him for putting the food she gives him on his plate into his mouth.

Suppose at least she isn't claiming he's just stocky and is going to be like his Dad/Grandad/Seventeenth Cousin nine times removed who was bigger than André the Giant you know.

GiddyRobin · 22/09/2024 21:28

There's a young boy in DS's class who is like this. I've chatted to the mother at pick-up, and she's also large as are her DH and older son. She doesn't see a problem. "He likes his food", "he's a hearty lad", "he just gets hungry, I can't starve him! We're all bonny in our family!"

There are, unfortunately, people who just don't want to look at the problem and fix it, so they make excuses.

The school probably have said something and she's either lying or has tactically misheard. GP's may well have said something, but again if the parent refuses to listen and cooperate then there's only so much that can be repeated.

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