7 year old obese. Why haven't gp or school said anything

[UserNameChangedAgainAndAgain]

My NDN young lad , turned 7 early August weighs 8.5 Stone. Wears age 15 clothes which as you can imagine are miles too long. He really struggles with walking to school, 4 min walk. He has constant issues with breathing, croup , wheezing and bronchitis.
He had a sleepover here last night and honestly he sounded like a snorting pig asleep. I don't mean that nasty, it's the only way I can describe it. Dh and dc are snorers but that was something else.

My ndn always says how he just eats the wrong thing but it's also the sheer quantity. ( he ate a whole large domino's she said one day because school meals at lunch were too small)
I feel for him It's so sad.

But I wonder why school have never said he struggles in PE which he does as he cries on pe days.
Or why the gp has never said about it.

It's neglectful imo.

Ndn said he refuses fruit and veg. But last night he was asking to have fruit out the bowl here.
The poor lad was struggling running in the garden with the dcs playing tag and wanted to quit after less than 5 minutes to rest.

I've tried to help as tactfully as I can. But gets no where.
His poor body , joints and heart

Why haven't school or gp mentioned it to get them help

Its neglect.

So sad.

I'm just wondering why YOU haven't said anything to her if you're that close?

He's not in y6. He's age 7. Year 3 ! He was 7 in August

If he was overweight in reception then they would have got a letter to say so, as long as he was there on the day they did the weigh in (my ds1 was unwell that day so didn't get weighed). My understanding is that there is help and advice available but not sure what the quality of it is and it obviously requires the parent to engage.

It's also possible that the child just hasn't seen a GP if he's been otherwise well. My ds2 who is 6 last saw the GP about 2 years ago for a routine appt but I don't think my ds1 has been to the GP since he was 3 and that was 6 years ago.

I sympathise, my ds1's friend's little brother has just started reception and I was shocked to see how overweight he was - to the extent that he waddles around. Really sad.

@UserNameChangedAgainAndAgain if you're really concerned, and can't bring this up to her face, there's a few different approaches.
The first would be to the safeguarding lead at the school, to mention that you believe his weight is causing health problems.
The second is doing a referral to early help, which is lower level social services ie where they can signpost to available support, offer parenting classes etc.
Thirdly would be to see if her GP has a social prescriber. Similar to early help, it's mainly signposting to available resources to help.

There will be help and support available, but only if the mum engages. If she's in denial about how poorly her child is becoming, then I'm not sure what anyone can do.

This is so sad, I've a family member who was brought up in a similar way and his weight basically mirrored his age until it got even worse at secondary school.At his heaviest he was almost 30 stone and developed diabetes , hypertension, heart problems, constant infections and close shaves with sepsis.
He eventually died at 52 from a heart attack, he had bariatric surgery but the damage seemed to have been done.
I'd consider a report to social services.

I have but tried to be tactful.

You keep saying it's sad OP but clearly not sad enough to talk to her about it.

You think she needs advice from professionals even though you can clearly see the child is overweight and suffering as a result, why can't she?

What do you want from this thread?

What exactly do you think school staff should say?
Excuse me parent can I have a word.
I don’t mean to be rude but your child is a fat, obese blob. Stop feeding him crap and cook fresh fish and vegetables. He needs to slim down and fast. I’ve seen you giving him entire bags of sweets and it’s disgusting. You are a shit patent. Have a good weekend!
Yes GPS should be honest and blunt but as stated, people don’t want to hear it.
8.5 stone is the size of a teenage boy, not a 7 year old.

It is near impossible for an outside agency (school, gp) to do anything at all for an obese kid if mum/dad aren't engaged, aware how bad it is and completely committed to big dietary & lifestyle changes.

I work in a school and recently we've had kids on child protection plans due to obesity. There is usually something else going on at home to kick-start that process though, rather than just the weight. You could try speaking anonymously to the school's safeguarding lead?

Can people stop trying to excuse what is clearly child abuse !,

No it's not neurodivergence
Medication
Any other excuse you can think of

This is a negligent set of parents (yes the dad should be involved and be held equally responsible)

But how many kids are in this situation ? God knows how many because parents have forgotten how to cook / have no knowledge of nutrition.

This stuff needs teaching in schools . !!

Well yes, one would hope you did try to be tactful.

What did she say?

Sorry I've just read that the mum did get a phone call when he was in reception.

How do you know his weight? If he really does weigh 8.5 stone that is awful. That is double what my 9 year old weighs!

Parents have never been more aware of healthy eating and obesity.

If the massive campaigns and the fact they have a wealth of internet information at their fingertips, doesn't stop them neglecting their children then schools certainly can't.

My friends grandad said, about her cousins severely obese son "If that kid gets any fatter we will need to get the floor reinforced" cousin went bananas but it did the trick and she finally started to deal with what she had been in denial about for years.

I met her grandpa a few times and he was blunt to the point of rudeness (said they "saw you coming" when he saw her wedding cake, which we took to mean he didnt like it!) but in that case I think that was needed as her cousin simply was not seeing what was before her own eyes.

Sometimes bluntness is what it needs as tact can be easily ignored.

I mean sure it’s hard but you have to try and just support healthy options.
We have two kids. Eldest is overweight, often complaining she’s hungry and also likes v limited veggies/fruit. Youngest is bang on average, eats very erratically (so more than an adult one day, picks at next to nothing another), loves virtually all veg/salad/fruit.
We aren’t aware of anything we’ve done differently in terms of introducing food or portions etc but they have nonetheless developed v different eating habits/patterns. So many people don’t take it seriously. Wed said something to school about being concerned back in Y1 as seemed like they were getting lots of treats from class birthdays and similar and it was totally brushed off. A lot of her friends (& her sister) would have exactly same unhealthy snack as her but what they won’t do is then subsequently still eat their whole tea. I have asked GP about her appetite and asked if there could be any medical driver for that as it’s so different to her sister but they just said we needed to offer a balanced diet and she’d be fine.
I’ve loads of sympathy that it’s challenging, but equally knowing she’s struggling I’d never in a million years order her a whole large pizza or give her a huge bag of haribo as that’s never going to help. I always have fresh and frozen grapes, cucumber sticks & bananas, which they’ll both tolerate as snacks.

@cadburyegg yes it is sad isn't it. I'm less than 8.5 stone and I'm a 5 foot 6 woman. Got a 6 year old and can't imagine him being anywhere near my weight. It's shocking.

It gets taught in schools! Teachers bloody fund it!

It's the parent's failure and responsibility. Nobody else's ... Not the GP's, and not the school's.

WTF are you going on about? 😳

Wtf