7 year old obese. Why haven't gp or school said anything

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My NDN young lad , turned 7 early August weighs 8.5 Stone. Wears age 15 clothes which as you can imagine are miles too long. He really struggles with walking to school, 4 min walk. He has constant issues with breathing, croup , wheezing and bronchitis.
He had a sleepover here last night and honestly he sounded like a snorting pig asleep. I don't mean that nasty, it's the only way I can describe it. Dh and dc are snorers but that was something else.

My ndn always says how he just eats the wrong thing but it's also the sheer quantity. ( he ate a whole large domino's she said one day because school meals at lunch were too small)
I feel for him It's so sad.

But I wonder why school have never said he struggles in PE which he does as he cries on pe days.
Or why the gp has never said about it.

It's neglectful imo.

Ndn said he refuses fruit and veg. But last night he was asking to have fruit out the bowl here.
The poor lad was struggling running in the garden with the dcs playing tag and wanted to quit after less than 5 minutes to rest.

I've tried to help as tactfully as I can. But gets no where.
His poor body , joints and heart

Why haven't school or gp mentioned it to get them help

Why? What have they said that was so wrong?

Genuinely confused here unless you've read them wrong maybe?

Under eight and a half stone is not really an adult weight is it? Most adults are over eight and a half stone?

Oh that's absolutely ridiculous for goodness sake.

Plenty of healthy adults are that weight.

I'm not sure why someone's weight would cause you to spit so much venom at them.

You clearly have some sort of problem that you're projecting, but the problem is very much yours.

Regardless of his age. My point is that people generally do not take kindly to things like this being highlighted. They already know.

Wow, skinny shamer out and proud. Not her fault you hate yourself. Reported.

I reported hours ago.

Shameful it’s still there.

I'm 5'2 and under that and I don't look super skinny or anywhere near underweight by any means so yes it is a perfectly healthy weight and a lot of doctors would say so. I know op was taller than me but that can still be healthy.X

I'm shocked a 7 year old can eat a whole large pizza. That is insane to me.

What you can do OP is talk about his health. Say you're worried about him. Tell him of someone you know who died young because of obese related health issues. Tell her that her GP can get her in touch with a dietican. Ask her if she wants some tips on healthy easy meals. It is heartbreaking.. if you think she won't listen call SS. It is child abuse to overfeed your child when he's obese. This family needs help. You are a gem for caring!

They probably have. Reception children are measured by a nurse and parents receive a letter if their child is overweight. When she takes him to the GP for issues like his asthma, they have also probably mentioned it. She’s intentionally being ignorant about this, there’s no way she doesn’t know.

Poor kid, I feel sorry for him. It’s abuse.

I take it you’re fat yourself then?

Healthy slim adults are often 8 stone something. I am myself! I’m a GP so I have a good idea about healthy weights.

If I’d seen this boy as a patient I’d have mentioned his weight and tried to discuss it and then spent the next couple of days responding to the inevitable complaint

Addressing children’s weight with their parents is almost impossible, sadly.

And so on this thread we see exactly where the issue is.
A so called adult shaming a woman who is a healthy weight.
8.5 stone is perfectly fine. It’s not underweight for an adult at all.
Being fat is becoming the norm for far too many people. The burden on the NHS is staggering and unsustainable.
Overweight people waddling round in skin tight leggings or shirtless, no it’s not on.
I’m all for wearing what you want to a certain extent and I’m fatter than 8.5 stone, but come on, feeding your young child an entire Dominos pizza!
Thinking school meals are not adequate portions. Not seeing how a 7 year old should be able to run around for hours on a daily basis.
I’m in my 50s and walk over a mile to work every day. Any child who can’t do that has a very serious problem.
And yes, it all comes down to parenting.
The child is not ordering their own take outs are they?

And anyone complaining about a GP telling them the truth is revolting.
They will be asking to be given the free weight loss drugs in the next breath.

Fleurdolease but parents can refuse to have their DC weighed by school

We have refused for each of ours. As responsible parents we know and can see that they are not overweight

Op, it sounds like you know the most about what's happening. Sounds like you're close enough to tell her that something needs to be done. It's pretty obvious what she's doing wrong. Big bag of sweets and choc after school, letting him have a whole pizza, massive meal portions etc. Can you say to her that you were concerned about his breathing at the sleep over and that you want to help her to help him? Suggest to her that she gives him a healthy after school snack such as an apple etc. Talk to her about portions etc. she doesn't need to cut his portions straight away, but maybe a gradual thing of reducing the amount she gives him over time.

Even if a Dr picked up on it, all they can do is tell her to put him on a diet and print off some info on healthy balanced diet etc.

Unfortunately a lot of parents cannot tell whether their children are overweight.

It is normal to be able to see a primary school age child’s ribs, for example, but I have had folk complaining their children are too skinny if this is the case, especially if they are overweight themselves.

There are several medical issues that would lead to over eating- ‘fat child eats a lot’ isn’t evidence of medical conditions.

Although in this case it seems the op knows the family well enough to know that this isn’t the case.

Mine certainly could have if we’d let him!

He has ASD and eats as a form of stimming. He also has very poor processing/body perception- doesn’t know he needs a wee/can’t tell he is cold etc… not knowing he is full is part of that.

Add in his severe ADHD which means he is totally compulsive and always hunting for a dopamine hit and it’s a real battle.

He also has POTS so needs a very high salt diet and craves salty food like pizza.

He isn’t and hasn’t been overweight- but it’s because we are constantly on it. He has to be provided with stimming food in abundance (nuts/tomatoes/lettuce/cucumber/raw onion), have salt added to everything- like mixed into porridge so his body doesn’t start craving salty fast food, we have to battle about what is bought and be very strict with take aways- and constantly be trying to educate him so he can self regulate as an adult. All without causing PDA meltdown (when ‘no’ is a massive trigger because it is a demand).

I can easily imagine parents with less knowledge, time and money would end up with a massive child in our situation.

Can I just ask how do you successfully manage it when he
goes to parties/friends houses/eats at school/is with grandparents. That’s where we struggle most with our eldest as we have less control and our parents are among the many people who don’t take it seriously when we point out she’s overweight and will become seriously overweight/obese and unwell. We get a huge number of responses it’s just puppy fat/we are being mean.
It’s interesting as on these kind of threads here everyone is super critical of bad food/overweight kids yet in real life people fall over themselves most of the time to say your kids fine even if you know they are overweight and are trying to resolve it..

Funny (but not funny at all) how those same people suddenly trust doctors to try and pull a miracle out of their arrest when it all goes tips up!

Was going to say similar. My youngest DD was quite chunky as a toddler but really likes anything sweet or fatty. Any time I said to family I was a bit concerned about her weight I would get comments about how she just likes her food and she’s fine. She would come home with sweets from nursery regularly and also get loads for birthdays, Christmas, just as a treat from well meaning family.
I had to put a stop to it and ration her sweet intake and she’s slimmed down as she’s grown. However, she really doesn’t have an off button when it comes to junk foods. DH is exactly the same and has to watch what he eats. I think it’s just more difficult for some kids, especially when so many people are worried about addressing overweight kids.

It’s tricky isn’t it.

We don’t have/go to a lot of parties and play dates/family stuff tends to happen at ours because we have the biggest space, so we still have some control over what is provided; but since it isn’t often enough to make a big difference we just let him have whatever he wants on those occasions.

He is also hyperactive so moves ALL the time. We have a pull up bar, swing, pogo stick, 2 x balance boards, obstacle course stuff and a skateboard in the living room, as well as a rebounder we can bring out.

He also lifts weights and does squats and sit ups etc daily, does a full day outdoor education (forest school) where the workers say he just runs and climbs for 6 hours) every week, 2 hours trampolining every week as well as a PT session of strength training and karate/kickboxing. Plus whatever playground visits etc we do.

I guess it may be easier as she gets older. In fairness she’s definitely headed in right direction at the moment but it is tricky and it takes losing focus on it for a week or two to undo months of progress in the right direction as well 🤦🏼‍♀️