7 year old obese. Why haven't gp or school said anything

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My NDN young lad , turned 7 early August weighs 8.5 Stone. Wears age 15 clothes which as you can imagine are miles too long. He really struggles with walking to school, 4 min walk. He has constant issues with breathing, croup , wheezing and bronchitis.
He had a sleepover here last night and honestly he sounded like a snorting pig asleep. I don't mean that nasty, it's the only way I can describe it. Dh and dc are snorers but that was something else.

My ndn always says how he just eats the wrong thing but it's also the sheer quantity. ( he ate a whole large domino's she said one day because school meals at lunch were too small)
I feel for him It's so sad.

But I wonder why school have never said he struggles in PE which he does as he cries on pe days.
Or why the gp has never said about it.

It's neglectful imo.

Ndn said he refuses fruit and veg. But last night he was asking to have fruit out the bowl here.
The poor lad was struggling running in the garden with the dcs playing tag and wanted to quit after less than 5 minutes to rest.

I've tried to help as tactfully as I can. But gets no where.
His poor body , joints and heart

Why haven't school or gp mentioned it to get them help

And yes I know about the medication as she actually messaged to ask if I would collect prescription to save taking him out. I replied no problem and was great he'd been seen so quick. She said they didn't they did it over the phone.

OP, I'm a little confused by your post title ...

Did your NDN specifically tell you that neither the GP or school has ever made reference to their child's physical condition ? ... Just asking as you don't mention this in your post.

If you really are the NDN, who would you expect a GP or school to say something to ?

To you perhaps ? .... I'm not sure that would happen.

To your NDN (The kids parent) ? ... Quite likely, in which case, how do you know that they haven't done ? - And if they have, perhaps they haven't disclosed this to you for obvious reasons ?

I’m sure the OP knows so much because as she mentioned, the neighbour is an over sharer. It’s not uncommon to know the ins and outs of people you see regularly.

Children should be weighed in Reception and Y6 and advice is given to parents of overweight children. Whether the parents want to listen to the advice is another matter.

Doesn’t matter what anyone says, she won’t stop it. Feeders never do. They confuse love with feeding.

That sounds exactly like Petunia Dursley.

I'm guessing school/GP/family have tried to say something and realised it's futile tbh.

I've asked questions like , have the school said why he's upset doing pe. Or if the gp has said why he gets ill. Ie his weight. And she's said no. I haven't asked outright

Of course I don't think they'd say something to me.

I do think if they have said anything to her.she would without a doubt tell me because she'd be like what pp have explained. And be ' omg I can't believe they said that'

I saw a massive social media campaign recently to say that this shouldn't be allowed and how it gives children eating disorders and parents should be allowed to refuse. Problem is, it would most likely be the ones with the weight issues who would refuse

It's exactly the mindset! Thankfully he's a lovely little boy, always the first to share his toys. It's just a shame he's not getting the best start he can.

My friend has a very overweight dd. She is fully aware but doesn't seem to every get around to tackling it. Think she is hoping when she starts secondary school in a couple of years that peer pressure will make her want to lose weight so she is putting the responsibilty on the poor child.

That's not necessarily true. Our safeguarding lead has spoken to parents before when their child has been unhealthy overweight. It's a sensitive topic, but to allow a child to become obese so young is a health concern.

Have you ever seen the posts on here decrying BMI as inaccurate? The kid who is 99th centile for height and weight who is 'in proportion'?

We have sleep walked into an obesity crisis to the point where I have had my healthy weight child described as looking like a 'Victorian orphan'. You can bet your bottom dollar someone has told her.

I've spoken to parents about their children's weight. What outcome do you expect it to have really. It makes no difference.

I remember after the weight in reception the nurse called her and said he was over weight and she said it was because of lockdown which was a bit before that. But back then although he was overweight he wasn't obese. He just looked chunky.

I'm just so sad for him

I’d be surprised if no professional has mentioned it to the child’s parents ever if this is a longterm issue. But a) you don’t know if the parents have/would reacted badly to that and b) maybe they are getting help or on a waiting list to be seen but the child’s mother doesn’t want to share that with you because she thinks you’re being nosy and/or judgmental?

OK so it seems someone would have mentioned to her so IABU to think they haven't.

Yeah but being hungry enough to eat a whole large Domino's pizza, where does that come from ? The poor boy

My ndn always says how he just eats the wrong thing but it's also the sheer quantity. ( he ate a whole large domino's she said one day because school meals at lunch were too small)

Your ndn is a terrible parent. He's 7, so clearly not paying for the Dominos himself.

Just cut the carbs,
poor kid

She definitely don't think I'm nosey. Honestly she's always messaging or popping round to tell me stuff. I rarely ask a question tbh as i have no need because she literally tells me everything.
My concern is for the boy who is going to end up ill the way things are going and just wondered why nothing has been said to her.

If he's been overfed for 7 years, he'd be perfectly capable of eating a pizza that big.

I have a friend with an overweight daughter. Always been overweight too. They eat out all the time, eat takeaway all the time and let her order what she likes. She’s now a teenager and still very overweight and it makes her self conscious now.

I can remember once going to McDonald with them when kids were maybe 8 or 9. I ordered mine a happy meal or a small meal or something. She was asking her kids what they want and got her a large Big Mac meal and then was saying do you want anything else? Some nuggets or a shake?

Starts with two slices of pizza. Then being allowed a third or fourth regularly. Then a fifth. Then his stomach gets used to it. Lazy parenting, basically. The mum hasn't said "no, love, that's your tea. If you're still hungry later there's a piece of toast or an apple."

It is not a secret that someone needs to reveal to her. She knows. He knows. The government sends nurses to weigh children in y6. Parents of very overweight children very often refuse consent for their children to be weighed. They know but they choose to not discuss it.