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Original poster

Baby fell off the couch while husband was "watching" him

106 replies

Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 20:17

So earlier today I was in the kitchen, DH in the living room with our 6 month old baby on the couch while he was changing his nappy, he is too busy watching the football and the next thing I shouted him just as the baby was falling off the couch, unfortunately he hit the hard floor and started to cry. Luckily he is ok now and iv been keeping my eye on him ever since so signs of anything serious but I'm so angry at him. I have told him again and again you can't take your eyes off him now that he is rolling, like a nagging wife but for very good reason and now it's happened as he never listens to me.
This is my 3rd baby so I would say I'm an experienced parent whereas this is his first baby, so he has taken a bit of guidance from me and I thought he was doing ok until today.
The problem is I'm meant to be going to Barcelona on Wednesday for a couple of days for a hen do and he is in charge of the 3 children and now after today my gut reaction is to not go as he cannot be trusted, what would you do?

OP posts:
Artesia · 22/09/2024 20:21

I'd accept that no one is perfect. Your husband made a mistake. You will too. It doesn't make him a bad dad.

MidLifeWoman · 22/09/2024 20:22

Will he learn from his mistake? I know I did when ds rolled off the couch.

llamali · 22/09/2024 20:22

How did he react? If he was all ARGH OMG PANIC then I'd trust him

narns · 22/09/2024 20:23

I think it's really unfair to say that your DH cannot be trusted to parent because your baby fell off the sofa. There are threads on here allllll the time where babies fall off sofas/beds etc. It happens. Your baby is fine. Your husband has learned a valuable lesson about not being distracted by the football.

Your OP reads that you are quite anxious or critical of your DH's parenting and now this has happened (in your mind) it's proved your point and all of a sudden he's awful. You've done all this before and you know how you like to parent, he is still figuring it all out. I'd give him a bit of grace.

llamali · 22/09/2024 20:23

MidLifeWoman · 22/09/2024 20:22

Will he learn from his mistake? I know I did when ds rolled off the couch.

Exactly I think most first time parents have been caught by surprise on occasion

BigFatLiar · 22/09/2024 20:23

It happens. I've had them slide of the couch or walk into doors. Babies and toddlers have accidents, unless he's willingly careless or intentionaly hurting it I'd let it go. Would you be giving up the baby if it was you who let it drop? Course not.

ExquisiteEmelda · 22/09/2024 20:23

Could be a blessing in disguise, my guess is he’ll watch the kids more carefully when you’re away now.

(My DD rolled off the bed around the same age, whoops).

Singleandproud · 22/09/2024 20:24

Being left alone for a few days is exactly what he needs. At the minute he has you for back up to step in, chances are when baby's safety is down to him alone he'll step up.

SurpriseTwinPregnancy · 22/09/2024 20:24

I feel this is a rite of passage when you are a new parent, OP. Has something similar not happened to you before?

Original poster
Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 20:25

I'm not saying he is a bad dad, he is very hands on and does his fair share but I have warned him time and time again when I have seen him with the baby on the couch to be careful as he can roll now and he responds, I know, well clearly he doesn't because he was too busy watching the football and he fell.
The baby was screaming, I was crying which prompted the others to come running in the room, it was all a very frantic 5 mins before we all settled down, but I'm still angry at him and how am I meant to go away now for a few days as I feel like I will be on pins the whole time

OP posts:
BirthdayRainbow · 22/09/2024 20:25

It was a totally avoidable pain to your baby so no wonder you're pissed off. It's no accident when anyone with half a brain knows what could happen.

Go on the trip but I'd be telling him again to focus on the baby, not the football and to make sure he doesn't let him get hurt again.

KezzaMucklowe · 22/09/2024 20:26

Was it the City Arsenal game ?
Tbh I could done similar it was a tense game.
I think you should react how you'd want him to if you had been the one who had let the baby fall on your watch.
Let's face it something like this will happen to all parents at some point.

llamali · 22/09/2024 20:27

How has your anxiety been generally since the birth? Is it possible it's a combination of him not being attentive enough and your anxiety catastrophising?

Original poster
Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 20:27

@llamali he was really upset and started to cry that he hurt his son and he only has himself to blame and that I was right he was too busy watching the football. He has spent the rest of the day playing and cuddling him.

OP posts:
SunsetSkylane · 22/09/2024 20:27

Happened to both my kids, mistakes happen sometimes.

llamali · 22/09/2024 20:29

Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 20:27

@llamali he was really upset and started to cry that he hurt his son and he only has himself to blame and that I was right he was too busy watching the football. He has spent the rest of the day playing and cuddling him.

I'd be inclined to believe he won't be doing that again then

Artesia · 22/09/2024 20:29

Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 20:27

@llamali he was really upset and started to cry that he hurt his son and he only has himself to blame and that I was right he was too busy watching the football. He has spent the rest of the day playing and cuddling him.

That tells you all you need to know. He's a decent person who made a mistake. Imagine if it was the other way round and, as a result of one mistake, your DH wouldn't trust you to take care of the kids on your own.

Stinksmum · 22/09/2024 20:29

It happened to me and I was so upset. But unfortunately I had no one to blame because my Husband was at work and I was supposed to be watching her.

Treetertop · 22/09/2024 20:29

Change him on the floor from now on.

PresidentBarklett · 22/09/2024 20:29

Look, its shit. Obviously you didn't want this to happen and nor did he. But I think you're bring unfair.

It's very easy to hear someone saying 'the baby can roll off the couch' buy until you've actually seen it it's impossible to know just how quickly it can happen. You just kinda think 'oh I'll catch him'. Now he knows he won't always catch him.

Go on your trip. It's doubtful that it would happen again. Don't allow your husband making a mistake that most parents have made at some point lead you to lose your trust in him as an adult and a father, as that can only lead to further pain and conflict down the line.

Original poster
Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 20:29

@narns I think I am a little anxious, you would think him being my 3rd I would be more chilled out but this little one was premature and he could of died and he was really small when he was born and in my mind fragile, I do worry about him more than the others with his feeding and how he will develop as although he is 6 months, he has an adjusted age of just over 4 months.

OP posts:
AgileGreenSeal · 22/09/2024 20:31

He probably can’t be trusted.
Most men can’t.

Maria1979 · 22/09/2024 20:31

Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 20:25

I'm not saying he is a bad dad, he is very hands on and does his fair share but I have warned him time and time again when I have seen him with the baby on the couch to be careful as he can roll now and he responds, I know, well clearly he doesn't because he was too busy watching the football and he fell.
The baby was screaming, I was crying which prompted the others to come running in the room, it was all a very frantic 5 mins before we all settled down, but I'm still angry at him and how am I meant to go away now for a few days as I feel like I will be on pins the whole time

Make him change nappies on the floor with carpet + blanket obviously. Atleast baby is safe..

sunshineandshowers40 · 22/09/2024 20:32

Accidents happen. One of mine fell off the bed on my watch- I was very upset, DH didn't blame me or get cross. DC1 was fine and never fell again.

CucumberBagel · 22/09/2024 20:32

KezzaMucklowe · 22/09/2024 20:26

Was it the City Arsenal game ?
Tbh I could done similar it was a tense game.
I think you should react how you'd want him to if you had been the one who had let the baby fall on your watch.
Let's face it something like this will happen to all parents at some point.

Give over. Oooh, football is so exciting and tense that I can't focus on more important things than overpaid grown men running after a ball! Grow up.