Baby fell off the couch while husband was "watching" him

[Lorddenning1]

So earlier today I was in the kitchen, DH in the living room with our 6 month old baby on the couch while he was changing his nappy, he is too busy watching the football and the next thing I shouted him just as the baby was falling off the couch, unfortunately he hit the hard floor and started to cry. Luckily he is ok now and iv been keeping my eye on him ever since so signs of anything serious but I'm so angry at him. I have told him again and again you can't take your eyes off him now that he is rolling, like a nagging wife but for very good reason and now it's happened as he never listens to me.
This is my 3rd baby so I would say I'm an experienced parent whereas this is his first baby, so he has taken a bit of guidance from me and I thought he was doing ok until today.
The problem is I'm meant to be going to Barcelona on Wednesday for a couple of days for a hen do and he is in charge of the 3 children and now after today my gut reaction is to not go as he cannot be trusted, what would you do?

And why not? Mums are allowed to have a life outside of child duties!

How often do you remind him that it's your third and his first? If you bring him down too much he will stop listening. He needs to find his own way as a parent just as you did.

Mistakes happen, he will learn from it.

It does happen. I understand why you're pissed off, but the best thing is to prevent it in the first place.

Once they're rolling, it's a good idea to do as much on the floor as possible. Not just changing, but make it the default that baby is on the floor unless being actively held on the sofa. Get a rug or mat if you haven't already.

Could have happened to anyone, I know from experience that I've had to remind partner of new skills little one has developed and can't be left or can't be distracted by tv while baby is somewhere, i think he genuinely didn't mean it giving his reaction. It's all a learning curve no matter how many bubbas you've had

In that case it sounds as though he has learned.

Ive posted before about an incident when DS2 was 6 months and he rolled off a caravan sofa on to the playmat on a hard floor. We went to French A & E and DH was left in no doubt by the Dr what he should not have done. In our case there was some gaslighting going on where I had repeatedly asked him not to have him on the sofa when DH was tired and he’d given me grief over it saying it was fine. I was in the shower when I heard the thud. DH had nodded off. I’ve never been so panicked in all my life.

When both DC were in bed later I said my piece and he knew I meant business. Never again did he cross me on child safety.

The baby rolled off the sofa. Your DH was distraught and spent the day cuddling your baby.
It's not the end of the world. These things happen. My DD fell off the sofa when she was a baby. She's 18 now and absolutely fine (although being first time parents we overreacted and took her to hospital). That was a hard wooden floor too.
My DH was watching her and I was a bit annoyed but never worried about leaving her alone with him again.
You are being massively unreasonable to think you can't leave the kids alone with him.

Babies fall of sofas. Sometimes it's the mums fault sometimes it's the dad's. You are upset and angry because it is your baby and the reason we survived as a species is because of our willingness to tear anything wanting to hurt our (unusually) defenceless young into pieces. But in this case it isn't justified.
If he was super blasé it would be more concerning. As it is, go away let him look after the kids, it will be fine. He hasn't done anything to indicate he can't be trusted/doesn't care.

So its never happened to you with your first children OP or something similar?

I'm really shocked that this your third child! I thought for sure pfb from your behaviour. I think the fact that you cried means something else is going on here OP, that is not a normal reaction. Babies get dropped- I dropped mine, and my mom tells a particularly good story about me getting dropped and landing in the toilet...

If you read my post further up you can see where I have identified that I am anxious with this little one as he was premature and could of died so I worry about him a lot more than I have with the others, he spent time in neonatal and I perhaps still see him as fragile still. I have never cared for a premature baby before.

@TenderChicken that was in response to you.

This - and go to Barcelona and have a great time

I was/am a much more attentive parent than DH, yet the only time DD rolled off the sofa she was with me, not him. It happens.

I’m assuming you are permanently joined to your dc 24 hours a day.
The dc have a father, he should be perfectly capable of minding his dc.

Both mine have rolled off beds, a changing table and fallen part way downstairs all under my watch. And I’m quite risk averse.
They're adults with dc of their own now and have been through similar.
Dc are tough little things.

The worst I ever saw was a man leaving a restaurant with a toddler on his shoulders, he completely forgot about the height through the doorway.
I could see what was going to happen and shouted too late.
I’ve never heard a dc scream so loudly. It chilled my blood.

I realise now I may of overreacted, the baby is totally fine. We have now started to change his nappy on the floor instead and I like the idea posters have mentioned for him to spend some quality time with him, without me being around hovering.

He’ll be fine, if not more attentive after what has happened and also because you are aren’t there.
I think his reaction says it all.
We’ve all been there. I was just feet away from my toddler when she wobbled backwards off our bed. Off to A&E we went (she was fine). But now, two years later, I panic whenever she is on it and either get her down or stand by her even though she is nearly 5 🙈

Go and try to enjoy yourself, sounds like you need a well deserved break x

I meant to add that I can empathise completely with how you feel. Us Mums all worry but I worry so differently about my second because she was a rainbow baby. I had terrible anxiety through her pregnancy as a result of the miscarriage and I thought it would go once she was safe in my arms but not at all.
I’m sure like me, you wish you could switch the extra worry off but it’s impossible once you’ve experienced something like that.
So glad little one is ok after his bump and I hope you enjoy Barcelona xx

@LouH1981 he is a rainbow baby too, we found out at our 12 weeks scan that we lost our little one and also after we found out it was a partial molar pregnancy so then had to be under a clinic for 6 months.
He was delivered at 34 weeks because he was in distress and if I hadn't gone in for reduced movement he wouldn't be here today, so I'm extra careful with him so when I saw him fall, to me it was my little fragile prem baby and I got so angry at his dad as I have warned him repeatedly to watch him on the couch and he could of been hurt.
But now I have calmed down I can see it has happened to nearly every parent and he was ok after 5 mins, but it still scared me.
I'm apprehensive about leaving him anyways so this kind of tipped me over the edge a little bit.

It's just a dig at me I think because I said it was a tense game.
The poster ignored the fact that I said I would have been distracted too.
As you pointed out lots of people have pointed out that they've done similar.
I

I'm so sorry to hear that op.

And none of your children have had an accident in your care?

I remember being told never to leave the baby on the bed. I thought, ‘who would do a stupid thing like that?’. Well, me as it turns out. Thought there was little risk, took my eye off for a second, next thing I know they’ve managed to flip off the bed (despite not being able to lift their head up), get a bump on their forehead and I’m in A&E having to hold my precious first born (also years of trying and losses) whilst they are having an X-ray as the doctor thought their arm wasn’t lifting properly!! I was obviously in floods of tears (baby was fine).

Luckily my husband didn’t get angry or accuse me, just gave me a massive hug when he rushed back from work. I’m not sure I would have been that understanding!! He later admitted he was desperately holding his tongue, then could see what a state I was in!!

My older daughter fell off the bed at seven months and my younger daughter rolled down nine stairs at about ten months. Sometimes babies kind of suddenly lurch in one direction and lose their balance before parents realize what’s happening. Unless he was clearly being neglectful, I wouldn’t make this into a big thing.

I don't think my dts ever fell off the bed or sofa . However, when they were tiny and in NICU I sat down and managed to move a chair on to one of the wires in ine of their monitors. Everything started bleeping and nurses came running over they looked worriedfor a while then said, errm can you move your chair please mum.
They were days old and were born at 30 weeks so absolutely tiny.
No one judged me, dp looked annoyed but didn't say anything and reassured me when I sobbed about it later.
Loads of things have happened since where we both made mistakes.