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AIBU?

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Original poster

Baby fell off the couch while husband was "watching" him

106 replies

Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 20:17

So earlier today I was in the kitchen, DH in the living room with our 6 month old baby on the couch while he was changing his nappy, he is too busy watching the football and the next thing I shouted him just as the baby was falling off the couch, unfortunately he hit the hard floor and started to cry. Luckily he is ok now and iv been keeping my eye on him ever since so signs of anything serious but I'm so angry at him. I have told him again and again you can't take your eyes off him now that he is rolling, like a nagging wife but for very good reason and now it's happened as he never listens to me.
This is my 3rd baby so I would say I'm an experienced parent whereas this is his first baby, so he has taken a bit of guidance from me and I thought he was doing ok until today.
The problem is I'm meant to be going to Barcelona on Wednesday for a couple of days for a hen do and he is in charge of the 3 children and now after today my gut reaction is to not go as he cannot be trusted, what would you do?

OP posts:
Beezknees · 22/09/2024 22:12

I wouldn't do anything. My DS had 2 of these incidents as a baby under my watch. Once he flipped out of his bouncer when I left it unstrapped and once he crawled off the bed when I turned to grab a nappy. Accidents happen.

FawnFrenchieMum · 22/09/2024 22:12

I get that it’s awful to see but honestly I think you’re over reacting a little bit. Babies have accidents. Almost all parents will admit to having them roll off a bed or sofa once. Once it’s happened, you make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 22/09/2024 22:13

Would it ease your anxiety to put a rug down?

I know my son has rolled off the sofa, and then when older, repeatedly purposefully thrown himself off face first too so it won't be the last time he has a date with gravity.

It sounds like your husband has learnt his lesson and your son is OK after the ordeal, so don't distrust him on this one account. But definitely consider a rug even if its just a temporary measure until you feel confident he won't come to much harm.

Mayorq · 22/09/2024 22:13

Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 21:57

@Mayorq they have all of them now, my 2 older sons are my husband's step children and it happened too with their dad but on the bed and they fell on a carpet so not as bad, this is why I always tell him to be careful when they start to roll, based on past experience, if I ever need to grab a nappy or anything I tend to keep an hand on his belly to make sure he doesn't roll, I'm not a prefect parent myself, but recently I have been telling him lots as sometime he props him up on a pillow and the baby only needs to roll a bit and he will fall.

Whoah whoah whoah.... your kids had accidents on your watch? And their father deigned to let you mind them again?

Presumably only after he'd brought you to tears, made other family members stoke to the drama and you'd shown suitable penance and improvement to warrant being allowed give care once more

Original poster
Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 22:18

@Mayorq why are you attacking me?
If you read it properly you will see I said yes they had accidents falling off their bed while their dad was watching them.
Why are you going out of your way to be nasty, I'm taking on board what everyone is saying and it's definitely made me see that it's not the end of the world and accidents happen, so there is really no need to be an arse with your replies

OP posts:
Ineedaholidayyyy · 22/09/2024 22:18

Nobody is perfect and accidents happen, it's how people learn from them which is important and his reaction is reassuring , he knows he made a mistake. The football haters will all latch on to that and say he's a terrible parent etc , but let's he honest, you only need to take your eye off a baby for a matter of seconds and something like this can happen. Mine fell out of his high chair once and i felt so guilty , but it never happened again. I'm sure he's learned his lesson and you should enjoy your holiday.

Original poster
Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 22:22

@Ineedaholidayyyy thank you, I have definitely calmed down now and thinking rational again, hopefully this has brought it home to what iv been saying for weeks to watch him on the couch etc I think I got upset because I saw him fall and couldn't get to him quickly enough, then a loud thud and he did that cry babies do when they are in pain (getting injections) etc
Thank you for bringing me back down to earth

OP posts:
Grammarnut · 22/09/2024 22:22

He made a mistake and will now realised you really can't take your eye off a baby once they start rolling. I learned this pronto when my baby rolled off the bed, while I was changing him. We all make mistakes - and hopefully learn from them.

Noseyoldcow · 22/09/2024 22:22

When my kids were young I had a "thing" about them falling off things. On the basis that they couldn't fall off of the floor, I always changed nappies on the mat on the floor. They weren't allowed on the bed or sofa unless someone was holding them. End result was they never fell off of anything as babies. But then they made up for that from toddlerhood!

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 22/09/2024 22:22

@Lorddenning1 perhaps now is the time to teach your partner to change the baby on the floor instead of the sofa! changing mat or towel is all that is needed. much safer for all. this was the only time I ever wore holes in my jeans!

MumApril1990 · 22/09/2024 22:23

That happens to lots of Mums and Dads, not unusual or something to be unduly angry over. Give him a little grace please OP

Original poster
Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 22:25

I agree nappy changes on the floor from now on, I will do this also.

OP posts:
MSLRT · 22/09/2024 22:40

I would go with your gut feeling. If you are worried about leaving them then don’t.

rayofsunshine86 · 22/09/2024 22:51

I think this happens to most parents at some point. My second DC fell off the bed at about 6mo, hitting and knocking over the bedside table on the way down. I sure learnt my lesson!

As long as he learns from his mistake then I'm sure he can look after your children. Observe him doing nappy changes on the floor from now on :)

Renamed · 22/09/2024 22:55

You know, I’ve read posts on here where the H has had something like this happen and gone off in a total strop at their partner and defensively blamed them and sulked for days. So I think PP was spot on asking you about his reaction, because it wasn’t this at all, it was the opposite. He takes responsibility and that tells you what you need to know.

ClareBlue · 22/09/2024 23:00

When you are both new to parenting you develop your instincts and risk assessment together and this can include near misses or even accidental role offs, falls, knocks etc and you are more forgiving because you are learning together. But when one is new and one experienced the dynamics are different. The experienced one has developed acute risk assessment, as parents do, whilst the newbie is still learning.
You have to give him a bit of slak to catch up. Leaving him in sole charge for a couple of days is just what's required. He made a mistake but has shown he takes learning from it serious.

ClareBlue · 22/09/2024 23:04

Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 22:25

I agree nappy changes on the floor from now on, I will do this also.

We've all been there. Bed a nice height for the back, floor a safe hight for a wriggly baby. Most of us end up on the floor. We did with all of ours.

Gettingbysomehow · 22/09/2024 23:06

Surely you don't go to hens abroad as an adult mother of 3 for gods sake? Ff's.
And no he can't be trusted with the baby.

AmyFarrahFowler1 · 22/09/2024 23:09

So you cried and he cried I mean it all sounds a bit…highly strung…

Original poster
Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 23:14

@Gettingbysomehow haha ok then

OP posts:
Original poster
Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 23:15

@AmyFarrahFowler1 the baby cried after the fall, I cried after because I couldn't get to him in time and felt awful too and hubby got upset once we all calmed down, FYI

OP posts:
Ruelzdontapply · 22/09/2024 23:15

Mistake happen the one and only time I fell asleep with ds on the bed he fell off he was about 6 months old at the time.
DD was about 5 months old and had never rolled but she rolled off the sofa.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 22/09/2024 23:47

Lorddenning1 · 22/09/2024 20:25

I'm not saying he is a bad dad, he is very hands on and does his fair share but I have warned him time and time again when I have seen him with the baby on the couch to be careful as he can roll now and he responds, I know, well clearly he doesn't because he was too busy watching the football and he fell.
The baby was screaming, I was crying which prompted the others to come running in the room, it was all a very frantic 5 mins before we all settled down, but I'm still angry at him and how am I meant to go away now for a few days as I feel like I will be on pins the whole time

Oh gosh this reminds me of my post from last year 'my ex DP burnt my baby'

It's not excusable just because it's his first baby I never let my only baby roll into a hard floor

He needs to promise not to use his phone or watch tv when watching the baby.

I wouldn't trust him with all three tbh can you send your older two to their dads?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 22/09/2024 23:48

You're not overly anxious for being upset about this. It was an avoidable injury that could have been much worse caused by negligence. Your upset and worried reaction is normal

Notamum12345577 · 22/09/2024 23:50

AgileGreenSeal · 22/09/2024 20:31

He probably can’t be trusted.
Most men can’t.

In your experience….