How much money do you give for a wedding gift?

[geordiegreek]

Hi I'm going to a wedding next month, it's a friend of mine, not best friend but a good friend I would say. She's been living with her husband to be for a number of years, already has kids, so I was just going to put some money in the card but I really have no idea how much to put 🙈 Aibu to ask what's the 'done thing'?

It's quite a fancy wedding at a posh kind of hall & im going with my 3 children if that makes any difference.

I do work although don't have loads of money to spare! But don't want to be seen as a cheapskate or anything. Just wondered what others do.

Any advice appreciated. Thank you :)

£50 if solo guest £100 if you're in a couple

Someone suggested a personalised gift, more thoughtful and probably cheaper, some IKEA champagne flutes (£6), personalised etsy stickers £1 each, a nice bottle Tesco Asti £5, a nice box, some paper and packing and voila... the couple will probably not want you going into stress or debt over their gift, I know I didn't when we got wed.

OP if it's going to be a big financial stretch for you just go with £50, if she's a good friend she won't care.

Why do so many people believe you need to cover the cost of the meal?

Or yes just give a gift!

I’m not being offensive but I’m gobsmacked this is the norm in England. We got at least £100 per person and obviously most people came as couples so most couples gave us £200 and close family gave us £500. Wedding was in known v expensive place though.

edited to say we are in Ireland

No idea. How crass!

I'd say £50 would be more than enough as a couple, less if going alone.
I would honestly be mortified if people were gifting me £100s at my wedding, it's not an event where you should be expecting to rake it in. If a couple choose to spend lots on meals, venue, etc. that is their choice and guests are not obliged to cover it.

Like I say, must be regional.

The only correct answer is what you both a) want to give and b) can afford to give.

It’s nonsense that you need to ‘cover the cost of your meal’. If the couple can’t afford a big wedding, they shouldn’t have one.

To answer your q I’ve previously done £25 as a single person or £50 as a couple (similar area to you). I earn more now and would possibly do £50 as a single and £75 as a couple.

But as I say - it really is whatever you think is appropriate and you can afford, and any one who thinks different is not a very good friend.

This 💯

Never known anyone to give more than £50 and that's standard I'd give for a full wedding invite. Evening invite only, usually a bottle of champagne 🍾

What's crass about people making the effort to be grateful for what has been spent on them and roughly having an idea of covering the cost of it. They are not literally saying oh thanks Pete and Sally you paid 69.95 for my meal so here's 69.95 in your card. "Crass". Honestly this place is absolutely batshit at times.

If that was expected I would have had to decline your invite. I think that’s so sad.

No. It's "batshit" to turn a wedding into something so transactional.
You're going as a guest. They're hosting.
That's not "batshit", that's been traditional for hundreds of years.

Me too. Very sad.

This year l gave £50 for just me and partner to attend friends wedding, however l gave my niece £100 but her and her husband are in thier 20's and just setting up home

£50 or, if you can't stretch to that, then a bottle of champagne.

Thank you I don't know why I have got it in my head I have to try and 'cover the cost of my meal'! She's told me it's around £100 per head for the meal, & there's 4 of us going but 3 of us are children maybe they will be cheaper but in any case I think I need to put that to one side, like PP have said they have chosen this venue I suppose.

Do you not give gifts at weddings? How is it transactional by giving a gift that has been traditional for hundreds of years?

Spot on 👍

You obviously haven't read my posts.
Of course I give a gift at every wedding.
This gift is not dependent on what the couple spend on my meal.
My niece couldn't afford a big wedding. I actually gave her more than when I went to a big wedding.
So. Not about the "cost of the plate". A no strings invitation and a no strings gift.

£100

if they wanted to avoid the cost of kids, it'd be a child free wedding. Don't stress about what you atte ding is costing the couple, they considered that when choosing who to invite and where to host the wedding.

I would go between 300-500 depending on the age of your children. If they are getting adult meals 500 if they are getting like.chiow and nuggets,300