How much money do you give for a wedding gift?

[geordiegreek]

Hi I'm going to a wedding next month, it's a friend of mine, not best friend but a good friend I would say. She's been living with her husband to be for a number of years, already has kids, so I was just going to put some money in the card but I really have no idea how much to put 🙈 Aibu to ask what's the 'done thing'?

It's quite a fancy wedding at a posh kind of hall & im going with my 3 children if that makes any difference.

I do work although don't have loads of money to spare! But don't want to be seen as a cheapskate or anything. Just wondered what others do.

Any advice appreciated. Thank you :)

There was a thread about this last week which had some lively discussion on it.

We are going to my friends wedding next May and were thinking about this recently. My dd will be bridesmaid and we are paying for hotel and transport 4 hours away, I'm thinking 50 in our situation.

You're a guest. You don't have to "cover" anything.

If it were a fancy place of my own choosing to celebrate my own event, that would be relevant.

I cannot imagine giving a friend more than £50 and would be mortified if any friend spent more than that on my event.

I think its regional. Never in my life heard of anyone putting £250 in a card for a friend's wedding, only close close family. But I think its common on MN.

£50 per adult so £100 a couple, but only if that is comfortably affordable, otherwise less.
You don't have to pay to cover the cost of inviting you, you are a guest, it's not supposed to be tit for tat.
If you can't afford it then give nothing but a nice message in a card. Assume you were invited because they want you, not a cash gift.

Exactly.

When we got married, we invited the people we loved most to be with us.

We paid for a nice lunch.
They gave up their Saturday.

You're not going out for dinner. You're guests at a wedding. They're hosting, they provide.
What you bring is a gift..

I agree 💯

I try give enough to cover our meals, so they're not too out of pocket for inviting me

If I'm not especially close to them, £50.
If they're a close friend or family member, £100.

£50-£100

I’m GOBSMACKED at people saying £100!

Id say £20-50 depending on your circumstances, especially if you’re forking out for hotel, transport, outfits for you and 3 kids.

If they have a gift list, I’d be more inclined to get something from that if it’s not crazy expensive.

I always give £50 unless a very close family member like a sibling where I would give more.

Can never get my head around ‘cover your plate’.

£50 is more than enough.

£40-£50

Of course they're out of pocket. They're hosting a wedding. They send you an invitation, not an invoice.

It depends what country you are in! The ‘norm’ varies hugely. English cash gifts seem to be much lower than Irish, for example.

But seriously - you never need to give more than you can afford. Personally if I could not afford the cash ‘norm’ I’d probably opt for something smaller but thoughtful - a bottle of champagne, a framed print, a lovely tea or coffee pot, candle sticks and some fancy twisty dinner candles…maybe with an old copy of Jilly Cooper’s ‘How to Stay Married’ if that would chime with their humour.

I must have some great friends. One friend gave us 200. Another 300. Another 500.
Most gave us 100.
A few gave us 50 and a few gave us 20.00
Our aunts/grans/siblings gave us between 300 and 500 from each of them.

£100

Thank you some good ideas here I'm in England, north east.

It's about 30 minutes away so we're not having to get a hotel. Only expenses will be transport there & then outfits for us all.

Thank you everyone for your perspectives. My sister who is a lot wealthier than me said she usually gives £50. But I didn't think that sounded enough with how much our food etc will have cost them. I can't really afford £100 just before Christmas 🙈 but thinking I will have to try & find it somewhere x

Generally, £50 per adult person.
So, if my husband and I were going together then £100.

The most i’ve ever given was £250 and a restaurant voucher worth £100, for a wedding where I was the MoH and close friends with the couple.

In your shoes I’d give £100, maybe £150 as you’re going as a family.

It's not relevant how much it cost them. If people can't afford a big do, should friends give them less?
I think £50 is ample.