To ask son to reduce water consumption

[VestPantsandSocks]

My adult son leaves the water running whilst shampooing his hair and soaping himself during his 20 minute shower.

AIBU to ask him to switch off the water at these times?

Regardless, tell him that water use at the levels he's using will incur costs for him. It's time to show him what it's like to pay bills.

20 min does sound rather excessive, and yes, it's a men thing ime. I always run mine off for applying shampoo but that's mainly because I have a grad full of thick curls and with the water kept on rhe shampoo would wash out before even getting applied all over including the scalp.

If it's about reducing water consumption I'd also look at installing a water-saving showerhead to reduce throughput, or you can get a little geegaw to install between hose and shower head to do the same. That's if it's a COL thing. As far as environmental considerations, I'm on the continent and most everywhere existing infrastructure doesn't work with the trickle from water-saving citizens - municipal utilities often have to flush the system with lots of extra water just to keep things working.

Why not just ask him to take slightly shorter showers? Tbh I had no idea anyone turned the water off to shampoo and soap themselves until I read it on MN - I certainly won't be doing it myself.

I have long thick hair, but apparently have mastered the art of tilting my head out of the shower stream of water thereby achieving the desired results of a sudsy head of hair and keeping my body in the water stream.

Seriously it’s a tilt of the head/neck not sorcery 🤣 one can even achieve the same results by turning 180 degrees so that the water doesn’t stream over the head. Or take 1/2 step forward so the water hits the body at chest level.

My DD used to have ridiculously long showers. I started turning the water off at the meter at around the 6 minute mark, so by the time she hit 8 minutes, the water was running cold and she was out. Diabolical on my part - yes. Did she learn how to take a 4 minute shower? Also yes.

@@GrumpyPanda 20 min does sound rather excessive, and yes, it's a men thing ime
Men generally take shorter showers but, on average, shower more frequently than women.

This depends on a) your type of shower and b) whether your bathroom is warm. I have a rented house and the shower runs off the taps rather than being electric. It's a juggle to get the temperature right to start the shower so I wouldn't turn it off half way through. if your bathroom is cold, turning off the hot water is miserable. Anyway it takes 2 minutes to wash hair and 3-4 to use conditioner. 10 minutes overall?
Just explain to your boy you can't afford the long hot showers and ask him to take 10 minute ones? My OP shaves in the shower so that takes a bit more time too.

Do people actually stand in the shower and switch it on and off? no thanks.

😂😂 I have 45 minute showers!

People who time other people’s showers are so weird, do you also time their toilet sessions?!

If it’s not about money or hogging the only bathroom, then leave people alone to fulfil their basic needs as they see fit.

If you are asking that question you obviously haven’t read much of the thread.

If I turned the shower off to lather up, it would be either scalding hot or icy cold when I turn it back on, so I’d have to get out, shiver and drip water and suds all over the bath mat, and wait for it to get to the right temperature again before getting back in. Way too much of a faff!

How 'adult' is he, 18 or 30? Either way I wouldn't make a big deal of this.

When my DD lived at home she had 15/20 minute showers every morning and night. Not the end of the world if you can afford it, which you say you can.

@RomeoRivers Yes, we can all do what we like in our own homes where we’re paying the bills. But if I still lived with my Dad, for example, there’s no way that I could take a
45 -minute shower, because like the OP, he insists on short showers!

That’s the issue here, when it’s your house/your bill, it’s your rules. Even if other people think it’s daft.

But that’s my point, UNLESS money is tight or there is only one bathroom, no one should be ‘insisting’ on short showers, regardless of who owns the house.

It’s controlling and weird to monitor other people’s basic needs based on your personal beliefs. The same way that you can’t police other people’s eating habits or sleep needs, providing they are not negatively impacting others.

@RomeoRivers Even if it’s controlling though, it’s still up to the OP.

Some people don’t like certain foods in their house-a vegan might object to animal products being prepared in their kitchen, for example. Perhaps that’s controlling, but it’s their house, their rules, isn’t it?

It’s up to the OP whether she wants to insist on short showers in her house, it may seem unreasonable to others, but it’s her house. 🤷

It’s not ok to be controlling when it’s the other person’s full time home though, that’s not fair.

If it’s such a problem for her then she needs to ask him to move out, otherwise just leave him to shower as he pleases.

Thanks for all your perspectives!
Interesting to see that I am in the minority re switching off the tap 😁

Ours is on a thermostat so it comes back on at the same temperature, unless it's been switched off for a long time (then it's just a few seconds to come up to temperature)
10 minutes is plenty!

I'd be livid.

I'd still be telling him you're turning the gas off after 10 mins

He isn't a kid, he is a bloody freeloading grown adult.

Ooh do you have data for this? OP and I shower or bath every day, which I thought was normal. He takes much longer than I do.

A few different sources here. The sex-based differences don't seem to be huge tbf

https://www.globenewswire.com/news-release/2016/09/20/1103569/0/en/New-Moen-Research-Discovers-Habits-of-Women-vs-Men-in-the-Shower.html

https://constructionowl.com/men-vs-women-understanding-the-bathroom-gender-devide/

https://theharrispoll.com/briefs/shower-habits/

@WetBandits

i have a combi & an Aqua Lisa 'system' it takes time to heat up & if you turn it off it takes the same time to get to a constant temperature. It's fucking annoying. It's also crap pressure.

when I first moved in I had a robber fitting on the taps and a hook on the wall for the head. It was much better.