To think that parents should be more responsible for their children’s behaviour in public?

[Silentfriend]

Yesterday I had an experience at a cafe where a group of kids were running around, shouting, and causing chaos while their parents seemed oblivious, chatting away without intervening. It really got me thinking about how parents are often not held accountable for their children’s behaviour in public spaces.

I feel that part of being a parent includes teaching kids how to behave in social situations. It felt unfair to those of us trying to enjoy our time when it seemed like the parents didn’t care about the impact their children were having.

AIBU for feeling frustrated about this? Shouldn’t parents step up and take responsibility, or am I being too harsh?

This isn't true in much of the UK tbh.

Yeah, I get this A LOT. Doesn't stop me though

Also agree about the village.

Except todays village is full of ineffective parents who lose their rag of anyone does does their job for them.

It's true there are no kid friendly places anymore. But that doesn't excuse bad behaviour in adult spaces.

When I was little our local pub ad a magician every Saturday fortnight. We kids sat with our panda pop and crisps and ran about the garden whilst the dads had a pint (or 3!) inside.

Mums got an evening to themselves!

But even if that existed nowadays it would be called mysoginistic but the truth is we loved those evenings out with dad (back then we still had sahm) and we did interact with them in the main bar but we also knew and did sit sensibly in there.

(Running outside across the bridge pretending the tyre underneath was a troll was a whole different ball game 😂)

Are you in London?

Of course tourist areas, that rely on tourist revenue, smile indulgently. That doesn’t mean they like some of the behavior exhibited, or would tolerate it in their own children.

I grew up ‘in Europe’. If I misbehaved any nearby adult wouldn’t hesitate to discipline me, and I was expected to conform to my environment, rather than expect the environment to conform to me. In many European countries that have ‘the village’ mentality, if parents fail to control their children someone else would do it for them, and comment would be passed to the parent in regards to their own failure. That is ‘the village’, and I don’t necessarily think a lot of UK parents would like it.

In Greece, most villages have a square with a big tree, with cafes around. The parents sit and eat, while the kids all play together in the square. It’s expected for non-parents to gently tell children off if they misbehave. It’s usually well after their bed time in the UK.

Who was gawping at smartphones in the scenario described? Children were happily playing and parents were merrily chatting.

My brother lives in Italy, married to an Italian lady, they have young children. I honestly don't recognise this free and easy, kids everywhere doing what they like idea people have of 'Europe'. Certainly my brother's children and their Italian cousins are very much expected to behave in public.

Hahaha. If you chastised someone else's child these days, even nicely, you'll most likely get abuse back from their parents

I can see both sides to this.

One one hand I told a lad off for deliberately pushing little ones at soft play once - his mum, who had been sat on her phone not paying any attention, came over later and started swearing at me. In front of the kids. Lovely 🙄

On the other hand, I was once in the park with my friend and our kids. The ice cream man came, but we'd had one at home after lunch so we said no not today. None of the kids kicked off / had a tantrum, but my friends boy said (in an "isn't that odd" kind of way) "why does he only come when we've already had one" and before we could say anything, an older "gentleman" who was behind us leant in and said, in a really nasty, snarky tone "looks like someone thinks the world revolves around him" 🙄 Just why?? The kid wasn't kicking off, or crying or anything he was literally just wondering to himself out loud and this man just took a chance to be a prick. Who has that much contempt for a 4 year old pondering about the routine of an ice cream van?? Why say anything?

Parents want the village when it comes to everyone else looking after/keeping an eye on their kids whilst they relax, or otherwise being tolerant of all their noise/disruption.

They do not want a village when it comes to anyone else instructing their children or telling them off, or when it requires them to be tolerant of other people.

Child-friendly societies involve both parts. The UK is only unfriendly in the sense that strangers won’t just agree to love all children and never criticise their behaviour or parents.