Not to invite my sister's boyfriend to my wedding

[Chittychattymatty]

Hi. First time ever posting!
I love my sister. We are close and live in the same town! She is with her partner 4 years. Roughly same time as I am with mine. I cannot stand her boyfriend. Nor can my partner. He is exceptionally rude and ignorant towards us. He isn't particularly nice to my sister either. But she just doesn't see it. I have often had private conversations with her, pointing out different things that were offensive. Or behaviour towards her even that I didn't like or think was fair. She deserves so much more but for some reason she just doesn't see it. All my family are on the same page as me. We don't like him. I recently got engaged and I am actually dreading him coming to my wedding, being loud and obnoxious. Making it all about himself or he'll behave like a spoilt child and sulk.

Can I invite my sister and not have him at the wedding?

My DILs father was a terrible boozer and often behaved badly, the family simply kept him off the juice until after the speeches. It was all fine because he cooperated as he didn't want to spoil his daughter's day.

It doesn't sound as if this person would be bothered about spoiling your day. Ideally you'd need to have him sitting with somebody who'll keep him under control, but he doesn't really sound manageable. It's a shame someone can't persuade him that he doesn't want to come to your wedding.

I wouldn't want him either but it is awkward not to invite him. Maybe brief a few of the other guys going, and at the first sign of trouble, they can boot him out.

And if you fall out with your sister... perhaps she'll come round once she realises what a dickhead he is.

I think it would cause lots of problems to not invite him and wouldn't be worth the drama. Just try to ignore him on your big day and don't let him spoil it. Keep a good relationship with your sister in case she needs you in the future.

Be honest with your sister. Tell her neither you nor the groom want to look at his ass on your wedding day. Ask her if she feels comfortable attending as a bridesmaid walking with someone else? If she says no, then tell her she is off the hook and doesn't have to attend you understand. If she says yes, then the problem is solved. Either way I wouldn't care if her feelings were hurt. She can worry about him being at HER wedding - mine where I am paying for everything is 100% my decision. Better her feelings to be hurt than mine.