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Original poster

Do people expect ROI after paying private school fees?

212 replies

Enrew · 21/09/2024 17:29

By ROI, I mean getting into top unis/ prestigious job/ high performer in a sport etc?

I ask after a family friend spent around 120k on child's education and child dropped out of good uni course to become personal trainer/ influencer. Nothing wrong with that career choice imo but friend seems resentful/ annoyed that after spending so much money child won't be doctor/ lawyer / banker and they could have done this career regardless of where they went to school. It's as if they had expectations all along.

I have no experience of private school system myself and my DC will go to local state school but thinking about it if I was paying out thousands per year for DC to have top education, I'd probably have some extra expectations.

OP posts:
llamali · 21/09/2024 17:32

Urgh that attitude sucks. Kids aren't possessions. A parents role is to help them develop into the best them they can be but not to push them. It's like an archer you aim and fire the arrow you don't do the flying

unmemorableusername · 21/09/2024 17:35

Most private school parents I've met have this expectation unless they are so loaded they don't feel the fees.

Hoppinggreen · 21/09/2024 17:35

Thats not why I sent my DC Private.
They are human beings not an investment opportunity.
In total it will have cost us over £100k but we have no regrets

Radiatorvalves · 21/09/2024 17:36

I joke about waiting for the ROI and for DSs to keep me in the style to which I wish to become accustomed. But seriously all I want is for them to fulfil their potential and be happy rounded kind men.

allclassics · 21/09/2024 17:36

No. Hope that helps.

Original poster
Enrew · 21/09/2024 17:36

llamali · 21/09/2024 17:32

Urgh that attitude sucks. Kids aren't possessions. A parents role is to help them develop into the best them they can be but not to push them. It's like an archer you aim and fire the arrow you don't do the flying

I agree in principle but surely if you're giving them the very best start possible with so many doors open to them, you'd hope they'd take fullest advantage and go as far as they can ie so they'll never struggle financially , in a stimulating career etc

OP posts:
exprecis · 21/09/2024 17:36

I think some parents absolutely do.

I know some. And my parents definitely did.

Original poster
Enrew · 21/09/2024 17:38

unmemorableusername · 21/09/2024 17:35

Most private school parents I've met have this expectation unless they are so loaded they don't feel the fees.

This is my experience too. I know a lot of friends who sends kids to private school and expectations are clearly there whether they admit it or not. Many are making sacrifices to afford the fees

OP posts:
redtrain123 · 21/09/2024 17:39

Must admit, I’d be a bit disappointed if they became an influencer, whatever school they went to.

if the parents spent the money, hoping their child would have better career prospects than perhaps they did, then they’re bound to be disappointed. They’ve given their child the best opportunities and it hasn’t worked out.

Maybe they put too much pressure on their dc, or he wasn’t cut out for the uni course he chose.

DancingNotDrowning · 21/09/2024 17:40

Nope not why I send my DC to private schools, although tbf the ROI so far has been good.

I want my DC to be happy, I want them to have opportunities that I didn’t have growing up, I want them to have their curiosity celebrated, I want them to to learn in a safe environment with motivated teachers who aren’t burnt out and counting down the days until they can get out. I actually want this for all DC but o can’t make that happen. I can for mine.

i suspect your friends son has been given many advantages throughout his schooling that mean it’s more likely he’ll make a success of his current plans than if he hadn’t been to private school. Even if it’s not what his parents hoped for.

pbdr · 21/09/2024 17:41

No. I have an idea of what I want my children's experience of school to be, and the lower class sizes and better facilities/ more extracurricular opportunities that our local private school can offer fits with that. Even if I knew for certain that my children would obtain the exact same exam results and end up in the exact same job as an adult if they went to state school, I'd still want to send them to the private school. As it happens I think the local private school can give them the best possible chance of obtaining the results to be able to pursue what they want to do in life and may help to keep their options as wide as possible, but if what they want is to be a hairdresser, or a waiter, or a receptionist then that's absolutely fine by me as long as they are happy.

topcat2014 · 21/09/2024 17:42

Maybe darling Josh was just a bit thick

DysonSphere · 21/09/2024 17:42

Would have loved to have had the opportunity to go private school. Forced into to a bottom drawer comp instead.

I personally haven't met anyone whose gone to private school who hasn't benefitted from it. They just seem to have a wuder scope of general knowledge and a certain polish. That's apparent even with those who have ended up in the same positions I have.

I think you can never lose in investing in your children's education. As regards specific high status ROI, it may well jump a generation so, grandchildren may benefit from experiences or connections gained by parent who went to PS.

Zanatdy · 21/09/2024 17:44

Well I think many parents do expect that from paying so much. I must admit I did think last month when my DD got 11 x G9’s from a state school that I’ve not paid a penny for that. Of course people don’t just pay private education for the academics, but the majority probably hope they will go on to a good Uni

Wisenotboring · 21/09/2024 17:47

Some do, some don't. Believe it or not parents in private schools hold different values and aspirations for educational outcomes, just like parents in state schools.
Your question seems a little faux naive. It's like saying are all state parents poor and don't care what they're children do?
I'm a state and private parent. I want all my children to be well stimulated, taught in line with their abilities and to emerge having fulfilled their potential with real choices and aspirations for their future.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 21/09/2024 17:48

I do know someone whose child ended up an Estate Agent after 100k spent on private school. They lost their business and would now kill for that 100k back. They were fuming.

Pemba · 21/09/2024 17:50

What does ROI stand for? I can only think Republic of Ireland, obviously it's not that!

DysonSphere · 21/09/2024 17:51

Pemba · 21/09/2024 17:50

What does ROI stand for? I can only think Republic of Ireland, obviously it's not that!

Return On Investment

Lovetotravel123 · 21/09/2024 17:53

No, I send mine so that hopefully he has more choices in life and mainly just so that he has a more pleasant and enjoyable education. As long as he is happy I don’t mind what career he chooses.

nOasistickets · 21/09/2024 17:54

Not really but I would be cross if they wanted to be an ‘influencer’ 😂😂 - only because im old and the concept of that is ridiculous to me (I have friend who are influencers - still ridiculous to me) 😂😂 I’m hoping it would die down by the time they graduate - they’re pretty young.

witmum · 21/09/2024 17:55

For me it is about reducing the odds of not getting though the school system.

I have too many friends whose teens (for many reasons) are school refusers.

If my child can have a love of learning egnighted and surrounded bully others that are motivated to learn that has to be a good thing.

I went to a (bad) state comp and have struggled with sending my son privately. But it is the right thing for my family at the moment.

I do not care what he does post school as long as he is motivated to do it.

kitsuneghost · 21/09/2024 17:55

Of course some do. For many it might not be actually to do with investment but affording private school is often a luxury of high earners that are very driven. Very often they expect kids to have the same values as them and this is what their issue is.

DojaPhat · 21/09/2024 18:00

In the case you describe your friend did get the ROI - their kid ostensibly got into a good uni course, as you say in your post. That the kid thought 'sod it' or a variation thereof is a looming risk but thems the breaks.

Having said that, if you have the sort of parent capable of shelling out hundreds of thousands on your schooling and extra circulars to seemingly buy you a place at the top then you'll probably be fine doing a BA in Studies in British Soap Operas at a uni founded 2 months ago. You can reasonably take a few years to 'find your calling' while spending your afternoons journalling.

edwinbear · 21/09/2024 18:06

Nope. I just wanted my DC to have an enjoyable time at school, which they are.

TemuSpecialBuy · 21/09/2024 18:07

People will say no… it’s a terrible way to think about it

DH and I are children of immigrants.
none had any education beyond GCSEs some didn’t have that.
We both sat and got scholarships to schools that were academically in the top 10 in the uk.

they 💯 expected “ROI”.
we also expect “ROI”

if my child shows little academic aptitude I will support their education and in the best available state school option help them navigate their way to find the most appropriate career path…
but there’s no world in which we are dropping £250k to send them to St Cuthberts Nitwit Academy and Boarding school so they can go to Leeds Beckett and read media studies.

we don’t have generational wealth and despite being high earners our children don’t /wont have the luxury of studying fine art…

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