Do people expect ROI after paying private school fees?

[Enrew]

By ROI, I mean getting into top unis/ prestigious job/ high performer in a sport etc?

I ask after a family friend spent around 120k on child's education and child dropped out of good uni course to become personal trainer/ influencer. Nothing wrong with that career choice imo but friend seems resentful/ annoyed that after spending so much money child won't be doctor/ lawyer / banker and they could have done this career regardless of where they went to school. It's as if they had expectations all along.

I have no experience of private school system myself and my DC will go to local state school but thinking about it if I was paying out thousands per year for DC to have top education, I'd probably have some extra expectations.

Didn't Gary Lineker try suing his kids' private school because they got poor results?

I think the problem with sending them private can be that yes its worth it for certsin kkds whether thats sen or really bright or not working hard enough. For their sibling it might literally be a waste of money.

Yabu to expect ROI. Friend of my husband went to private school but chose a low paid vocational career (think along the lines of social worker) and his parents were/are annoyed about the ‘waste’ of private school.

Children don’t owe us anything and they should have free will over how to live their lives without expectation. If people choose to pay for private school they should do so knowing there’s a ‘risk’ that it won’t necessary lead to the high-flying career/earning potential that they may envisage for their kids. They certainly shouldn’t guilt trip that they wasted money on private school. It’s the parents’ choice to send them there (maybe there is the odd instance of a child begging to be sent private where it was otherwise not the plan, but those will be rare!).

I often wonder about this. I have friends who spent £££ sending their DC private from age 4 up, and they have ended up at Nottingham or Lancaster or Birmingham. Excellent unis, don’t get me wrong, but also absolutely packed to the rafters with state school children. I wonder if they ever think ‘we’d have been better off buying them a house’

Sent too soon

they Re not super rich and it was often a struggle for some of them. Seems a big waste of money to me. But I would never ask!

My child is likely ND (awaiting assessment). He attends a small, nurturing prep with lots of pastoral support. He has some lovely reciprocal friendships, is accepted for who he is, and gets the support he needs. This is everything to us.

Good luck to them if that’s what they think! My husband and I both went to private schools and that definitely wasn’t our experience. Many of the people we went to school with have gone on to have very ordinary careers - a lot of them dropped out of uni or have degrees from lower tier universities. Money can’t buy intelligence, the results your child will achieve will only be, at most, marginally better than they would be at state school - private schools only have better published results because they prevent the kids who are unlikely to get a good pass from sitting the exam in the first place.

For me, the best reasons to send your child to private school are to challenge them if they are very able, or to provide better support if they have additional needs - neither of these things are well catered for in the state sector.

If your child is average, save your money.

Isn’t ‘ROI’ (gross terminology to apply to a person by the way) just that they emerge happy, healthy and doing a job or pursuing a career that they love?

My DD just started at Nottingham and says its full of Private school kids from Surrey!!
She is doing a course and hopes to do quite a niche thing that she has been passionate about since she was about 10, its unlikely to make her rich though.
We are still happy we forked out for Private though as our State Secondary option isn't good academically and in other ways

I think there’s also lot of selfishness in sending my kids private. I do feel like I am doing my best for them and have less worries about quality of education and environment. But it’s more about my worries than the reality of alternative options.

I immediately thought of him when I read the thread.

Even before that I know people whose parents expected a ROI and those who didn't. The former are pissed off with what their children achieved even though at least one of those adults is impressive in their career area.

No, we don’t. Children spend a lot of time at school and we want our children to spend it in the environment that we think suits them the best. For us, small classes with large grounds, lots of enrichment activities and a real focus on pastoral care is best for us. We didn’t find nearly the same in any of our local state schools, they all seemed chaotic and the state preschool we started at involved a lot of disruption and being hurt by other children.

There’s so much more to private school than the university or job they end up doing. It’s also about social confidence and networking.

No. DD because she'd been overlooked in state, and had a passion for classics/ancient history which wouldn't have been offered at the state school options available to her. She's now at a good university studying a related degree.

DS is autistic and would unlikely have been able to cope at state. Small class sizes and personal attention has meant he's hoping to go to Uni - when he left state we weren't even sure he'd be able to stay in mainstream education.

Those are my reasons, are they ok?

My cousin is he same age as me. My grandparents spent years telling my parents they should send us to private school (not that they could afford it).
My cousin went to Eton, which they were very pleased with. I have to confess to be very smug when I absolutely smashed my exams and he got 3 C's at ALevel.
He was horribly conceited and snobby as a child.
I often wonder what his parents thought of spending all that money.

No, it never crossed our minds. We wanted a school that our dc would be happy in and where they would have as many opportunities as possible. In the future I want them to do whatever they are best at and are happiest doing, and for many sectors that might not be the best paid. We are fortunate that we don't need to worry much about the cost so we don't think too hard about whether it's worth it - the dcs are happy so we're happy and there's no need to analyse further than that.

I think there’s a misperception that people choose private schools to get top grades or to access a particular career path.

Every school is different. We chose our prep school, because the pastoral care is excellent and so are the facilities. Also, the customer service is great. If I ask a question or want to see their teacher/headteacher, they respond very quickly. Accessibility for us (as parents) is important, as is the variety and availability of wrap around care.

We don’t mind if our DC go to university or not (so many people go to university nowadays, a degree isn’t a particularly impressive attainment). Perhaps they will decide to become entrepreneurs or do an apprenticeship. Hopefully they’ll be gainfully employed/generating their own income somehow 😂

The main thing is that they’re happy and have had lots of opportunities to explore subjects/activities they like.

I have a ds who was failing at state comp, we’re a little different in that we have moved one child to private for a short period (y9-11), it is a sacrifice and I don’t expect a ROI, but I do expect him to get that, I think at state in bottom sets it was unlikely he’d get grades for level 3 at post-16, and while that may not have been the end of the world, I think it would have set him back years in terms of finding a career that afforded him some sort financial security.

I expect him in small classes without so much distraction to buckle down and get some reasonable gcse grades. I’m not expecting him to go off to a top uni or get a career in medicine or anything. Just have reasonable options for year 12-13. I do get annoyed with him if he doesn’t get a reasonable report each term, because he knows it’s a waste of an expensive opportunity.

it’s been a bit of a culture shock, we’re a year in and going from being able to avoid work and focus on entertaining the class, to a school with much less social drama where he can’t get away with avoiding work has been a mixed blessing for him I think. But he is on board, he understands the deal and I think it will be worth the ‘investment’. We’re incredibly lucky to be in the position to pay school fees.

despite being high earners our children don’t /wont have the luxury of studying fine art…

There are far worse degrees than Fine Art. I know someone who’s just got an exceptional first in Fine Art and is about to start a PhD having skipped a masters. If one of your children is a talented artist why would you deny them the opportunity to develop their talent?

Our children are not in school yet and i suspect we won’t send them private, although it would be an option. I would imagine that some parents (the aspiring middle classes) absolutely do hope for a ROI. I expect the family money brigade don’t think about it too much, it’s just ‘what you do’.

This thread helped me unpack some of my thoughts on this.

Ours are in state primary but we might consider private secondary.

I don't think I would consider it if I didn't think our children were bright (I am not yet sure if this isn't the case) and going to a private school would help boost their chances of good results and have a good career.

I think part of that is that I think if they turn out to be average or below average academically, I think the best thing I can do for them is save the £150k or so private secondary would cost me and give it to them to help them have financial security as adults.

Whats ROI

I hoped mine would go to Uni because I didn't, but it wasn't my expectation. I wasn't bothered which one though.

this ^

Mine are on route for private secondary school. The local high schools are not a good option IMO, over subscribed, horrendous for bullying and large intakes.

I would rather pay, sacrifice things for them, and give them all the tools they need to progress