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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a bit embarrassed my nearly four year old is in a class with two year olds!

185 replies

notaswimmer · 21/09/2024 08:13

I know I shouldn’t but …

We have been going swimming since ds was a baby. The final class before they are able to swim independently is aged from two to starting school.

DS can’t yet swim independently, not even a little bit. So he’s still in that class - but all the other children are aged two. Now we’ve gone back after summer the difference is quite marked.

its my issue I know

OP posts:
Zapx · 21/09/2024 08:14

Does he still enjoy it?

CheshireDing · 21/09/2024 08:15

He's been going to swimming lessons for nearly 4 years and can't swim independently ?

Is that correct , or maybe I have misunderstood

LegoHouse274 · 21/09/2024 08:15

Are you still in the water with him? Tbh personally I'd move him, a lot of 'regular' classes start from age 4 and some from age 3 which would mean he would be children his age or older and you wouldn't need to go in the pool with him anymore which makes it all so much quicker and easier too.

Original poster
notaswimmer · 21/09/2024 08:15

I think he’s a bit ambivalent - some of the things are starting to feel a bit babyish but I don’t think he minds that. I do feel like we’re stuck at the same level we have been for the past eighteen months which is a bit rubbish in some ways (not suggesting it’s anyone’s fault!)

OP posts:
Didimum · 21/09/2024 08:15

I just don’t think it’s worth getting wound up about this sort of thing. He’ll learn to swim in his own time. I didn’t learn to swim until I was an adult due to a medical issue. Don’t feel embarrassed for your child.

Original poster
notaswimmer · 21/09/2024 08:16

I don’t think I am wound up. I just feel a little bit self conscious at having my almost school age child in the same class as toddlers and I know that’s my issue!

OP posts:
Zapx · 21/09/2024 08:17

At 4 children at the lessons near me are eligible for different classes, that are independent with a teacher instead of parent. Could you look to move him when he’s 4 or is there nothing else available?

Original poster
notaswimmer · 21/09/2024 08:17

CheshireDing · 21/09/2024 08:15

He's been going to swimming lessons for nearly 4 years and can't swim independently ?

Is that correct , or maybe I have misunderstood

Yes, that’s correct and your post clearly implies that someone (me? them?) have done something seriously amiss or that ds is seriously behind?

OP posts:
Milkandacookie · 21/09/2024 08:17

I did sessions all through with my first and then realised it made little difference on the whole

Second - we did fun sessions and swam with ourselves but kept it as play. Around 5th birthday she had private 1-1 lessons to get to be able to swim a width which didn't take long. Honestly so much of the lessons until they can swim is the teacher taking one of them across at a time and the rest watching. This was the best money spent. Joined normal group lessons when she could swim widths and able to swim lengths by 6.5.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/09/2024 08:17

Our swim school starts lessons age 4- I really don’t think it’s a worry a 3yr old hasn’t learned to swim yet.

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 21/09/2024 08:17

Didimum · 21/09/2024 08:15

I just don’t think it’s worth getting wound up about this sort of thing. He’ll learn to swim in his own time. I didn’t learn to swim until I was an adult due to a medical issue. Don’t feel embarrassed for your child.

Tbh id move his school if he hasnt made progress in 18 months. Unless he likes it. Then id be tempted to add a different class on top of this one. Or go for a course of one-to-one classes.

Hankunamatata · 21/09/2024 08:18

We moved to a 1:1 instructor as our middle one just wasn't getting it. I'd be more concerned he has been at same level for 18months. I'd look at 1:1 instructor who can get him swimming on next 6 months rather than paying another 2 years of lessons

Milkandacookie · 21/09/2024 08:18

I think many kids are just too young and at 5 they can get it quickly!

Mynewnameis · 21/09/2024 08:18

I'd move him to a class where he goes in Water alone. They don't need to be able to swim.

Original poster
notaswimmer · 21/09/2024 08:19

Zapx · 21/09/2024 08:17

At 4 children at the lessons near me are eligible for different classes, that are independent with a teacher instead of parent. Could you look to move him when he’s 4 or is there nothing else available?

I don’t think there’s anything else available but can look into it. I think it’s just one of those things he’ll ‘get’ when he’s ready.

OP posts:
MeinKraft · 21/09/2024 08:19

Hes only 4. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and him and let him be a normal kid.

CuriousGeorge80 · 21/09/2024 08:19

Is it like a Waterbabies type of thing? If so, I would get him out of it and into beginners swimming for four year olds without you in the water. We have moved to Australia with our just turned three year old and she’s gone from waterbabies to proper swim lessons and I cannot tell you the difference. She can almost swim independently after six weeks, when two years of waterbabies just helped her enjoy the water. Obviously ignore me if he’s in a proper swim class already.

Wrongsideofpennines · 21/09/2024 08:19

What do you think he's struggling with that meant he hasn't progressed? Is it confidence in the water, or teacher's technique, or coordination difficulties?

There will be children that start school without ever having had a lesson, so I wouldn't worry about that, but if he is at exactly the same ability as a year ago then there is something not working for him.

Original poster
notaswimmer · 21/09/2024 08:20

It’s similar to waterbabies. I don’t know though, I keep reading arm bands are detrimental to learning to swim. No idea really!

OP posts:
Original poster
notaswimmer · 21/09/2024 08:21

MeinKraft · 21/09/2024 08:19

Hes only 4. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and him and let him be a normal kid.

lol how is taking him to swimming lessons not being a ‘normal kid’? It’s not like he’s Macauley culkin!

OP posts:
BlueMum16 · 21/09/2024 08:22

notaswimmer · 21/09/2024 08:19

I don’t think there’s anything else available but can look into it. I think it’s just one of those things he’ll ‘get’ when he’s ready.

Show quote history

Speak to the teacher about how you can stretch his lessons to bring him on more.

Once he moves into the full lessons he'll probably skip the first one or not too.

Does he have swimming aids? Work with the teacher to remove those. It's not about water confidence after all this time.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 21/09/2024 08:22

It sounds like a waste of time and money if he hasn't progressed at all yet.

Just take him swimming yourself and put him back in lessons when he's a bit older, or find a different teacher.

MouseofCommons · 21/09/2024 08:23

Don't worry. My dc's took years of lessons to learn, I had to pay private to really crack it in the end. Looking back I should have saved money on pre-school lessons and jusy started private lessons at school age.
Eldest has now qualified as a lifeguard.

Hadalifeonce · 21/09/2024 08:23

My DS had swimming lessons for nearly a year, and still wasn't swimming, I put him with a different swimming teacher, and within a term he could swim. Sitting on the side watching, I could see a totally different approach between the two teachers.

BlueMum16 · 21/09/2024 08:23

notaswimmer · 21/09/2024 08:20

It’s similar to waterbabies. I don’t know though, I keep reading arm bands are detrimental to learning to swim. No idea really!

My DC is a swim teacher. They have disc type arm bands. They start with 3 on each side so they float. Then move to two, then one and so on.