To feel a bit embarrassed my nearly four year old is in a class with two year olds!

[notaswimmer]

I know I shouldn’t but …

We have been going swimming since ds was a baby. The final class before they are able to swim independently is aged from two to starting school.

DS can’t yet swim independently, not even a little bit. So he’s still in that class - but all the other children are aged two. Now we’ve gone back after summer the difference is quite marked.

its my issue I know

OP stop worrying.

My DD15 is still a terrible swimmer, some kids just aren't good at it.

What did really help was the intensive daily course ran over half term etc and I have done 1-1 coaching for her more recently to get her confidence up which has worked wonders.

Yes I wouldn't have him in with 2 year old. They're just playing. I'd stop and just take him swimming for fun with you and some toys.

Get some 1-1 when he's 4.5 with someone good and hell progress so much quicker.

He's still young for swimming. It takes a level of coordination which is harder for some kids.
DD couldn't pass those early stage classes at 3 and 4, so we stopped for a while. Age 6 she was flying through the levels.

Usually parents can't wait till they are 3 and go in water alone 😂

So I would find lessons that offer this

And sure they will come on leaps and bounds

I don't think swimming lessons when so young help them to swim but more give them confidence in the water

I took mini blondes swimming for fun and so wasn't afraid but not lessons till she was 4.

She did an intensive course of 30mins every day for a week and by the end she was swimming

Best money I spent

And then weekly lessons after that

we were advised not to start until 4
yabu

Our DC was similar and it took until this summer when they went swimming with a neighbour’s kid and just started copying them. I think sometimes they really need to see another child doing it correctly - it all just clicks. Do you have a friend’s older child you could go swimming with? It was the same with riding a bike - it just clicked after watching other kids in a way that we couldn’t emulate.

Taking him swimming alone won’t teach him to swim, he’ll just want to play on the slides and so on (our local swimming place has gone all out centre parcs)

Plus it costs a fortune!

4 year olds generally cannot swim? But if he's in a water babies type swim school perhaps looks for some more normal swim lessons for school ages because he's doing fine x

I don’t know @Cantgetausername87

Many can, mine can’t. I thought either was normal to be honest.

More of a fortune than paying for classes that aren't really doing anything?

Four year olds should be playing on the slides and having fun!

How is his co-ordination in other areas. He's 4 so is he in school Reception or just turned 4? Can he dress himself? Put shoes on? Is it literally just swimming where he's 'behind' or might it be an indication of co ordination or focus difficulties?

Whichever, I would personally take him out as it's not fun to be stuck and won't do his self esteem much good to be with the babies (especially if he's struggling in school too) and to see everyone moving on. 4 year olds are quite aware of things like this even if he doesn't say it. Just have a break and put him in lessons in a year or so. If he still doesn't progress then I would move to 1:1 to protect his self esteem.

Just stop the lessons at that age and take him more fun swimming yourself. Sounds like a waste of money what you are currently doing

He won't need armbands if you take him yourself and some of those floaty little things

Are there family sessions at your local pool where they put floats etc out ? Those are good to just stay at the shallow end and mess about together practising swimming /playing

Most of us used armbands as children and we all learned to swim without them in the end.

My DS is 3 and a half and we've taken him swimming regularly since he was a baby. He did two years of baby swimming which was really just splashing around with toys and in the end we decided it was a waste of money and just took him (and then his baby sister) to the pool ourselves.

He went through a very long phase of wanting to cling to us like a koala and not let go, unless he was just splashing around in the shallows where he could walk.

A few months ago we put one of those life jacket type flotation devices on both our kids. DD aged 18 months started swimming around independently almost immediately, but he still wouldn't. We realised that he'd got used to being able to keep his feet on the ground and regretted not trying one with him before he got big enough to stand on the bottom.

Just recently we tried armbands and suddenly it was like a lightbulb moment and he is now happily swimming with armbands.

So in your position I would relax, put armbands on him, and maybe pause the lessons for a bit and just take him to the pool yourself.

Whilst you're comparing him to all these future Olympian two year olds swimming without armbands you're forgetting that most children aren't going swimming at all at that age. He's not behind. He will learn to swim.

Hi Op - I'm a swim teacher and have a few thoughts. Firstly children do all develop at different rates. Nevertheless after a good number of lessons you would generally expect noticeable progress. If your DC is very thin, cautious or generally anxious it will prohibit quick progress. He might need a boost of 1-1 and someone getting in with him. What is the rest of his physical development like? Can you do some social swimming with him in between lessons? The end result is what's important not the speed of progress - glad he enjoys it 👍

Yes. If we went every week it would cost over £300. But I will carry on with lessons either at the current class or a different one, he isn’t going to learn to swim otherwise.

If it was a nine year old in with five years olds I could understand feeling embarrassed (and this is sometimes the case at my grandchildren’s swim club) but at 4 I wouldn’t worry.

If it’s a private swim school like water babies where you go in with him then I’d take him out of it now. Where are you, England?

if so move him to your local leisure centre now and he’ll be in the stage 1 / preschool class where they go in alone. He’ll be off swimming before you know it.

I’m in England yes. Depends if there’s any spaces though - will look into it!

@notaswimmer where are you that it would cost £300 to go swimming?!

It’s very normal for 4YOs not to be able to swim. It’s the usual age to start proper lessons. Unless you can get in with a private swim school that does from 3. They physically can’t swim properly before around age 3 anyway because the muscles aren’t strong enough. Baby/toddler swim classes are mostly a social activity with the added benefit of water confidence and maybe if it’s a good one teaching them to float on their backs should they fall in. And then they’d normally go into stage 1, no different from the kids that never did baby. Just go to a different swim school. Even your local leisure centre will have beginner stage 1 for his age but private places will have smaller groups if that’s something you want and are happy to pay extra for.

My son is 2 and has never been to a swimming lesson so you're doing better than me OP 😂. I suppose it's the schools fault for not breaking it down a bit better. Surely they'd be able to do things a bit differently for four year olds who can't swim and 2 year olds just starting.

I was in exactly the same situation as you - did baby swimming from 8 weeks old with DS. He loved it but wasn’t swimming independently like the others in his group by the time he was 3/4.
Switched to regular classes at local leisure centre aged 4 and he got it within a term. I didn’t want to go back to armbands but they weren’t the big inflatable ones, just the ring-style ones and he needed only one on each arm while new swimmers had 3. And he had the water confidence they didn’t so was happily jumping in while other children had be coaxed in.
So the baby swimming gave him a good groundwork in the end. But by 4 he needed a more structured teaching without me in with there with him - less fun and more like school.

Midlands. It costs £20 for DH and myself then £15 for two children (so £30) so £70 a week so monthly that would be £280. Obviously you get longer in the pool but it isn’t something we can casually do every week.

Thanks for this. I think I do need to look at switching him then.

It took my kids 4yrs to learn to swim, didn’t start until 4. I ended up paying for 1-1 and wish I’d done that from the start