To feel a bit embarrassed my nearly four year old is in a class with two year olds!

[notaswimmer]

I know I shouldn’t but …

We have been going swimming since ds was a baby. The final class before they are able to swim independently is aged from two to starting school.

DS can’t yet swim independently, not even a little bit. So he’s still in that class - but all the other children are aged two. Now we’ve gone back after summer the difference is quite marked.

its my issue I know

Maybe a good idea to check out other courses, he may be just at the stage where he's ready for more structured lessons. But don't discount how valuable becoming water confident is!
My DC are finished with swimming lessons now after years of lessons and water miles, but it took DD much longer to get started than DS.

DS started with leisure centre lessons, lots of water play and blowing bubbles then a private pool opened up so he started there and went straight into formal lessons. Dd was a bit younger so went straight into private lessons, it did not go well and after a few terms she was moved down to the toddler group where it was all about becoming confident and floating. She hated being in a different group initially but once she got the hang of playing and floating she went back to the older group, and progressed well through the levels from then. We did weekly pool sessions too at that time so she had plenty of practice with less pressure.

Try another type of lesson and see how he goes, even if it's just a one off 1-1 with a private instructor. He might just need a different slant on his lessons x

I don't think you should be embarrassed. But wonder if you should change lessons? My son started swimming at 4 years old and other children were similar age. Cost £40 a month - max 6 children, teacher in water. They use noodles and floats, no arm bands.

I would find a cheaper pool and take him myself twice a week. I taught my son to swim in a week when he was 3 at my parent's pool. One week intensive in the sun. The issue is that your child is going once a week and probably not 52 weeks a year. He is not progressing because he's not having the chance to practise

I remember when I was about 9, me and my mate were in a swimming lesson, in the kiddies pool, with children aged about 6/7!

My mum barely knew how to swim so didn't teach me. Other family and friends did though, but we just weren't as confident.
But yeah, me and my pal felt pretty embarrassed by that. But not enough to not want to continue swimming. Within a year we were up to about the same level as other kids our age. In fact by the end of primary I was a very confident swimmer and went several times a week.

So he will catch up. If he hasn't any coordination issues in general he's obviously just not such a natural or hasn't had enough practice. No point blaming yourself. It's better now that he's a bit behind than waiting till he was 9 like me. The embarrassment will be minimal on his part I'd imagine this young.

Why not take him swimming a couple times a week on top of the classes? Or even some one to one tuition if that's feasible financially.
It's very important he's able to swim to an extent. So just carry on doing what you're doing.

Take him out and put him in 1-1. This style of learning isn’t working for him

Sounds like you’re an easy source of income for the coach. Switch swim school.

Ah ignore me then, our council doesn't do lessons for kids that young so they start at around 4! We did take the kids swimming ourselves but not regularly as, like yours, it's expensive and £25 for a 90 min session which is jam packed and made up of slides and water amusements doesn't work for teaching. I think centre parcs and eurocamp pools was probably really useful for us as they spent hours in the pool during the holidays which gave them motivation to learn. Like others have said though I tend to think anything that comes early and has parents in with them isn't really about swimming.

Edited to say we are at crossed purposes. Our council pool is also expensive but the lessons were cheaper and more effective for actual swimming. The private lessons were lovely but more of an experience than learning to swim

Not many 3-4 year olds are independent swimmers even if they have done water babies etc. We put DSD to lessons at 4 and she was a competent swimmer by 5, you might find you start to see progress now he’s older. Are there any local gyms where you could take him to practise a bit more cheaply? Our leisure centre is quite expensive too but at the gym DH and I go to we can take DSD for the family sessions for £3 and it’s free for us as members.

This was my DD. In the end I paid for one on one tuition and in 8 weeks she was swimming

I think swimming lessons for toddlers are a waste of money. Just take him swimming yourself to get used to the water and then have some 1:1 lessons.

A lot of time in group lessons is wasted watching other people.

Nearly four is not a toddler.

I think 4 is fairly young for kids to be able to swim independently. My eldest didn't even start swimming lessons until 5 (covid), younger one picked it up a bit quicker and could swim independently at 4 but was the youngest in her swimming group. It's really not something I would worry about.

I didn't learn to swim until I was nearly 7 (Just a lesson in the pool from my mum teaching doggy paddle). I then had a near miss drowning experience in the sea in Greece about 6 months later. We had swimming lessons at school when I was 10 and I was so behind I had to go at a completely different time from my class and be with kids 2 year's younger (1 other girl also did but she was disabled). That felt humiliating!!! But even so, I'm a pretty strong swimmer these days! All to say, at age 4 I don't think this is a problem x

Well, as I say, he has suddenly seemed to get it, and swam half the pool length independently. Not the most refined or elegant stroke but I don’t care. I’m so happy 😂

Speaking as someone whose DC are grown-up, I'd say this is a completely normal reaction, but also, as you yourself say, unreasonable. I don't think you can help feelings like this. As a parent you are always comparing your DC to other people's DC, especially, I think, when they are small. Once they are grown you have a different perspective on it.

For example, I knew children who were very late talkers, which was frustrating to their parents, but of course once they learnt to talk, there was no difference between them and other children, and they all ended up going to university and doing well. Ditto a little boy I knew who didn't read until he was eight - he turned out fine too. Perfectly intelligent child (and now young man) but for some reason he was slow to get the hang of reading.

Your DS has been a bit slow with swimming, but he'll get there eventually. Children develop at different stages. But I quite understand that you still feel embarrassment about him being in with the little ones.

I posted that before seeing your latest message, OP! Well done to your DS.

If I was you, I’d look around for different lessons. It may not work, but my son wasn’t progressing at all at his first place we tried swimming. After a year and he was still scared to put his face in the water. We changed to somewhere else which was recomended with smaller group sizes and within six weeks he was not only able to put his face in the water but could swim confidently on his back. Front was a struggle but now he is an excellent swimmer. I think if we hadn’t had moved we still would have made little to no progress

OP, have you thought about putting him in 1-1 or 1-2 private lessons?

I skipped the long dragged out big-group lessons and put my DD though a bunch of 1-1 classes. It cost about the same because she did not need many lessons and progress was telescoped into a very short space of time.

The current classes are quite small so I don’t think it would necessarily make a huge difference.

My 11 year old son is in a class with his 5 year old sister. He's fine with it, it's just taken him a long time to learn how to swim. We've tried various teachers/swim schools.

When they go into year R they automatically get moved up to Stage 1, so I'd probably pull him out of those lessons or ask him to be moved up so he at least goes in without you.

I've got plenty of friends whose children have spent 2.5 years in the first stage of swimming. You can't force it. BUT are you topping up going with him yourself to help solve the issue? It can be difficult to progress when it is only 30 minutes a week.

I also used to sign my DS up for the intensive 5-days-in-a-row courses at our leisure centre during holidays. It definitely helped.

Tho that's one child

You quoted for whole family to go for 280/300

So would really be double that cost as both kids be swimming

I pay £75 a month - 15 a lesson with usually 5 max in the class - private

Council are cheaper but usually have 10 in class

Often feels we have 121 as teacher spends lots of time with each child

I know but it’s a 1:1 ratio and a bit mean to just take one!

That's a very good point

Then can swim whenever want to

Plus gym

He's not ready to swim. Take him out. Give it a year. He'll probably take to it then.