Mum drinking at pick up

[Cybertron]

After school pick up at 3.15pm a lot of us take our kids to the local park. The kids play on the playground and we sit under benches by the trees. I chat to the mums that are there and have done for a couple of years but I am not close to any of them. Today one mum was chatting to me and she reeked of booze. She told me that she had filled her water bottle with white wine and laughed saying it was the only way to get through the day. She then continued to drink the wine. Her kids are under 10. Should I say or do something or is this ok?
AIBU: leave it she deserves to unwind
YABU: drinking like that with kids is not ok

I tried to read it twice in my head and each time I was rapping like a G 🎤

My kids are unkempt and I never wear makeup. I’m not an alcoholic though. Just disorganized.

🤣 I think you’d need a wine to make it make any sense. 🫣🫣

Great. But entirely different to this situation.

This exactly. My mum was an alcoholic for about 15 years. Whilst working in a drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre. Only in the last year or so did it become clear to observers. Ironically discovered by vodka being found in a water bottle at work.

It's not great if she is drunk by pickup time. As a teacher I would report this to the DSL and it would likely to referred to social care.

There was the prosseco mummies at my kids school who brag they down a bottle of wine or two per night once the kids are in bed. Its no secret, they are quite proud of it and the teachers/other parents don't seem the least bit bothered by it.

Parents are allowed to drink, as long as they aren't dangerously shit faced (like blacked out while the kid runs in traffic), violent or trying to do something stupid like drive drunk then there little any services will do or care unless its showing signs of being on going neglect.

People also need to be careful of assumptions too. I'm not saying this is what happened in OP (if you say she was drinking wine) but in my case I'm disabled. I hardly ever drink but I am often mistaken for being drunk by people (co-ordination issues, slow reaction times, slurry speech, jerky movements due to spasms). I have had people report me before and its actually a form of discrimination. SS have investigated in the past and are aware of my disabilities, they know I don't drink and that my condition doesn't effect my parenting at all. Its very stressful being accused of stuff that isn't true though.

Excuse what?

It’s absolutely not great to assume she’s drunk. At no point did op say she was drunk.

Every social get together with Mum's n kids had alcohol provided for parents. .
I was on the PTA and helped with various events at school and we always sold alcohol to adults.
It is not a crime to drink and have children.

They serve Pimms at Sports Day!

I'd love to know how many of you have had a drink tonight with your kids in the house

🙋guilty

Lots of people have a drink after work on a Friday, it’s usually in the pub or their home but maybe she planned ahead. Either that or she has an alcohol problem, there’s no way to tell from this though.

The way to tell she has a drinks problem is that it’s not a social drink. She’s taken her wine along only for herself.

From the information given in the OP we don't know if she has an alcohol problem or not. We do know that this is exactly what someone with an alcohol problem would do, but also it's fine to have wine on a Friday (if you're not driving of course).

All safeguarding training says if you're at all concerned to report and then let the professionals decide if it's a concern. If there's been no other reports then it's likely that nothing will happen. Teachers may have already smelled alcohol on her before and this may be an extra piece of the puzzle.

I'm from a family of alcoholic (not me, I don't risk it so am teetotal) and in my family they've been fun social drinkers and it's all a laugh until one day it's not. For some of them they were heavy but social drinkers with their shit together until a life event happened and that was that. It's so hard to see from the outside who is an alcoholic and who isn't.

Me, but out of a glass, in my house. Not out of a waterbottle in a park.

Stop!! People on here will be gasping & fainting at this.
SS need to be informed, PTA need to be sacked & going forward, Ribena or sparkling water only.

So you would think it was better to take the whole bottle and all the mums start day drinking? More mums on the wine is preferable? Not sure I get the logic.

Same amount consumed? But because you had it out of a glass, you’re the better parent?

bloody genius idea if you ask me

So if people have a drink, by themself, by your reckoning, they’re alcoholics too? Thats quite an assumption.

What's the difference 🤔

I think drinking as friends together is a social bonding exercise, for better or worse. It’s present in a lot of societies as a way of forming close bonds together. It brings happy times and confidences and lowering of guards etc, But drinking alone is more likely a response to stress, it’s not positive at all. And to go out of the house and hide it in a water bottle… if it was not something to hide why not drink directly from the glass or bottle.

im not judging this lady, i just think something bad must be going on for her.

If it was a dad, reeking of alcohol and drinking alcohol out of a water bottle, would you report it?