Mum drinking at pick up

[Cybertron]

After school pick up at 3.15pm a lot of us take our kids to the local park. The kids play on the playground and we sit under benches by the trees. I chat to the mums that are there and have done for a couple of years but I am not close to any of them. Today one mum was chatting to me and she reeked of booze. She told me that she had filled her water bottle with white wine and laughed saying it was the only way to get through the day. She then continued to drink the wine. Her kids are under 10. Should I say or do something or is this ok?
AIBU: leave it she deserves to unwind
YABU: drinking like that with kids is not ok

How big was the water bottle?

I have a 750ml insulated one which is perfect for decanting wine into to keep it cold for a picnic or barbecue. If she had one of those then I’d be pretty concerned.

If she had the 250ml equivalent so the same as one large glass, less so.

Yeah I agree, it would be a shame for her to not feel able to join in with the group of mums and wondering who it was, as well as the stress it would cause with the school and potential social services

It doesn’t sound great and having it in a drinking bottle is very different to having a few glasses of wine over lunch then going to school pick up.

However, I don’t think social services or the school will do anything. There’s a local Dad who is known for being an alcoholic near us - nobody thinks to report him. I don’t think schools concern themselves with the drinking habits of parents. Unless they were doing something illegal like drink driving.

She could quite easily go home, have a cup of tea and be absolutely fine. Some Mums just drink in the day then sober up later.

I think this is true. You’d need to have more evidence of neglect. Being a bit pissed at pick up and sipping wine from a water bottle isn’t enough evidence.

500ml bottle

Have to say I'm shocked at the idea that it's normal to drink a few wines in the pub in the afternoon after school.
You are still going home half pissed to mind small kids.
And will be groggy and irritable later on. Then depressed the next day.

@Delatron have you ever done any safeguarding training? One of the key messages is that it's not up to the reporter to gain evidence. Just raise concerns and let the authorities decide whether they need to move forwards.

How can 39% of people think the OP is unreasonable!?!!

Because she's making a mountain out of a molehill. She knows nothing about this woman except she had some wine on a Friday afternoon in the park which there is absolutely nothing wrong with.

Most adults can handle there drink and don't feel like this after a couple

Eh? Whats the problem. Drinking with kids is ok. I can't see the problem.

Which part of the country do you reside in?

You are being unreasonable because clearly it's not ok, but you don't seem to give a damn beyond your own judgement of this woman who is evidently in a bad place.

Clearly. That doesn’t mean there isn’t one.

Of course it’s my opinion, not sure why that needs pointing out. Literally everyone’s posts on almost any thread are just opinion.

I'm fairly easy-going but I've been a bit surprised at some of the posts here!

Obviously this is not good, or safe for the kids. Can you approach her to offer to talk about her situation? Is there another parent who is close to her that you can discuss this with? Drinking heavily at this point of the day will not end well. She definitely needs help

I’m shocked at this thread. Genuinely. And I’m not a pearl clutcher, I’m a card carrying alcoholic in recovery, quite a long time I might add.

if this wouldn’t be worthy of reporting to anyone school, ss, then the UK has gone downhill since I left. Lot of people on here defending that behaviour should really be examining their own relationships with alcohol.

this isn’t normal. This is not a social situation like a party or a bbq where the children are at home or a safe location, they’ve got to go home and be looked after. Alcohol impairs your judgement. It slows your reactions. Great that she’s not driving- so they’re walking home? Would you want her supervising your <10s across the road? Be absolutely certain she’ll remember to turn the oven off after cooking dinner?

no it’s not bloody normal. 500ml is most of a bottle of wine. All this ‘well she told you so she’s not hiding it’. Do you know the easiest way to hide your drinking? Do it in public. Have one drink, then people think that’s it and don’t question all the ones you’ve had before. I know I’ve smelled of booze before so made a point of mentioning a (fictitious) celebration the night before and how I’m just not able for hangovers anymore. No one then knows about the wine I had for lunch.

If you think having to have a drink to get through the day is normal, then you’re wrong. I don’t care how many people would like to normalise it to make themselves feel better about doing it themselves, it not right, it’s not ok and it’s not bloody normal.

FWIW my kids and home were immaculate even when I was given 6-12 months to live. Report it to the school. Maybe they’ll act on it, maybe it will form part of a picture, maybe it’s just a one off. However, you might be doing her the biggest favour someone ever does her.

after all, if some of the posters on here are right and there’s nothing wrong with it.., there’s nothing to worry about is there?

im shocked and pretty disgusted.

I think OP you need to be a bit clearer. Do most of the mum's walk to school pick up and then rendezvous at the park or do you all generally drive? If I was calling at a park on, the way home, I would not be driving which would suggest a city area? I think if the mum in question is drinking and smells of drink at that time in the day, there could be numerous denominators that could indicate the root cause? Some more insight could help us to help you to help her🤔

Maybe the water bottle was used because its illegal to drink alcohol in outdoor public spaces? It is here in scotland anyway.

Also- how many of the people saying it’s fine would be happy if it were a childminder or nanny drinking with their children at the park?

Excellent point.

Haha..so true. I dnt see the big deal.

Me too. I've discovered on here that compared to many I was relaxed about playing outside, being out of my sight, ages could be trusted on their own. I'm far from a "pearl clutcher" and I'm surprised.

I don't think it's just fine more that she might have just had something really stressful happen to her making her act oddly if it is just a one of thing it's hardly the crime of the century