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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dog jumped all over my back stole my jumper and owner told me it was my fault WTAF?

118 replies

Reversetail · 20/09/2024 17:55

Can I just start this by saying I have had a very stressful week so tbh I am not feeling as capable of handling general stuff that life throws at you. I am also a dog lover and have my own dog, this isn’t a dog hating thread… but I was walking back from town with my primary aged autistic daughter who was wearing her green sunflower lanyard, (not that relevant but just adds to how selfish I feel this woman was). She was sitting on the only bench in a small park, my daughter wanted to sit on the bench as we always do but there was a woman shitting there taking up most of the bench on the phone with her young Labrador on a long lead. So I persuaded my daughter to sit on a wall a bit lower down. I did notice she had the dog on a long lead and didn’t seem to be paying much attention as she wasn’t looking what the dog was doing but when we sat down the dog was several meters away at the top of the park. The next thing I know something is on my back and it’s the dog. I grab hold the lead thinking she will call the dog and in attempt to pull it off, but she does nothing and the dog stays on my back so I get up, she doesn’t lock the lead or call the dogs name or even get up and come over. I realize she is doing nothing and the dog is not getting off. When I get up my jumper falls on the floor, a nice wool jumper, and the dog grabs it and plays with it. Still she dosen’t come over. I have to hold the end of the extended lead and I walk off with my daughter. As I get to leaving the park I heard her saying something about us on the phone making out it was our fault. So I shouted from the top of the park, as I am really pissed off “excuse me you should keep your dog on a shorter lead and she tells me ‘l’ll keep my dog on any lead length I like!’ I am stunned! That she has witness her dog jump all over me, grab my clothes and done nothing to stop it and then she then told me I shouldn’t have sat down, that I am self righteous and to fuck off. I am angry and shouting as a few metres away by this point at the top of the park. I keep saying all you had to do was apologise, and she tells me it’s all my fault for not noticing she had the dog, daring to sit down in a public park and that we probably sat there hoping she would move off the bench. I tell her I like dogs, but you need to keep your dog under control and I did her she is very selfish. Telling me he’s just a baby (at this point I said no he’s not he’s a dog!! Ffs) My daughter is very upset because I am shouting and I instantly regret loosing my temper and can’t stop crying once I get home as I feels like the straw that broke the camels back. After writing it out I don’t think I was unreasonable just wish I could have been calmer, I’m still stunned that anyone could be so selfish. So AIBU to have told her to keep her dog under control? The dog was not fully grown by the way but not a small puppy either.

OP posts:
Reversetail · 20/09/2024 20:25

@Barrenfieldoffucks that’s probably cheered me up more than anything. Why do we do it?! Hope your day improved.

OP posts:
Cantalever · 20/09/2024 20:27

OP that's awful. i was told by the owner of a dog that menaced me while walking along a footpath minding my own business, that it was my fault because the dog didn't like the colour of my coat! You couldn't make it up, they are so stupid and subjective (owners, not dogs).

EasyPeelings · 20/09/2024 20:27

Alifemadelessordinary · 20/09/2024 19:16

Of course YANBU OP! I'm so sorry you went through this.

I have two dogs which I love dearly, but the obsession with dogs being allowed in all public spaces is getting out of hand and the humanisation of dogs is just plain weird.

Yes, the anthropomorphism (is that the right word? ) is very peculiar. People referring to their dogs as "fur babies" and talking about them as if they're human - "my girl loves to go to the beach", "my baby boy is three years old today" etc and so on.
As you say, weird!

whynotwhatknot · 20/09/2024 20:29

my late mum would have been petrifed-why dont people just take responsibilty

SodaFountainMountain · 20/09/2024 20:41

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/09/2024 17:58

Really something has to be done about the domination of public spaces by dogs and dog owners. It’s really getting out of hand.

It does seem a bit like that.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 20/09/2024 20:43

I bloody hate those extending leads. Lazy owners use them because they can’t be bothered to train their dogs. If it’s extended you don’t have any control over your dog. Similarly, if you can’t trust your dog when letting it off the lead then you should put in the hard work and train it to recall. I say this as someone who lived with police dogs for twenty years. Dogs can be trained to ignore their impulses and be well-behaved but it takes time and effort.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/09/2024 20:55

SodaFountainMountain · 20/09/2024 20:41

It does seem a bit like that.

It’s not that I’m anti dog at all, it’s just they should be under the control of their owner. No one should have to be approached by a dog if they don’t want to be, still less jumped all over.

Ghosttofu99 · 20/09/2024 20:57

Two dogs once ran up and one ate the food out of my baby’s hand (her whole fist was in the dogs mouth) and the second dog ran off with her teether. That was post lock down when it was really bad with dogs everywhere. All I got was told not to worry because they (the dogs) are great with children. 🙄

It was basically a nightmare trying to share any public parks with dog owners for a while. Only semi-safe place is in the fenced off children’s playgrounds but even then I’ve had incidents where people have brought their dog into the play park and let them off the lead to run around. I confronted them (for the safety of my small toddler) but of course they act as if I’m in the wrong because ‘other people being their dogs in to)

Its really intimidating for a lone woman with a small child plus the dog poo everywhere.

The overall behaviour of dogs/owners is slightly better now but it’s hard to remember the last time I went out with the pram and didn’t come back with dog poo on the wheels. It’s everywhere, and sometimes quite hard to spot if it’s been raining on the grass. Today my DD (now 3) rode her scooter through some 🤦🏼‍♀️

Londonrach1 · 20/09/2024 21:00

Report this dog as being out of control.... imagine that happens to a child. Yanbu. Please report

Pinkwaterlillies · 20/09/2024 21:00

We had the police called on us a couple of years ago - a dog knocked then 2 y o ds over - I couldn’t get it off him so kicked it hard to get it away and the owner called 999! To be fair to the police they were extremely sympathetic and took our side but it was the entitlement of the owner who had a large dog with no recall off lead

jujuly · 20/09/2024 21:00

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/09/2024 17:58

Really something has to be done about the domination of public spaces by dogs and dog owners. It’s really getting out of hand.

Agreed.

Youcantwinthemall · 20/09/2024 21:07

StaunchMomma · 20/09/2024 18:06

There seems to have been a bit of a boom in arsehole dog owners, for sure.

The entitlement in some is mind blowing.

This. I live on the coast. On the promenade dogs always have to be on the lead. My mum has a border who’s occasionally reactive (if he’s surprised) and ALWAYS on a lead in public spaces. He also wears a reactive coat. I have lost count of how many dogs on the promenade, not on leads, bound up to my mum’s dog. When I say ‘he’s not always friendly’ they often reply ‘oh it’s ok. Mine is!’ Great! Your dog’s ’friendliness’ is exactly what’s going to stress my mum’s dog out! And before anyone starts, they never have any control of their off lead dog who should be on a lead.

OdeToBarney · 20/09/2024 22:16

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/09/2024 17:58

Really something has to be done about the domination of public spaces by dogs and dog owners. It’s really getting out of hand.

First comment has it. 👏👏👏

Elsvieta · 21/09/2024 21:08

Not really different from the people who will watch their dc hit yours with no provocation (or trash your house, or whatever) and then go ballistic if you gently suggest they don't allow that; their little darling can do no wrong and they get outraged at any suggestion that it's their job to teach them how to behave. Pricks.

Autumnismyfavouritetimeofyear · 21/09/2024 21:51

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/09/2024 17:58

Really something has to be done about the domination of public spaces by dogs and dog owners. It’s really getting out of hand.

No, not all dog owners, it is the CF ones who are the problem. There was a post last year about someone who had her dog on a long line and was reading things on her phone as she was going along - someone else walking past told her that she needed to pay attention to what her dog was doing and she was outraged. And defended her 'personal time to read her texts' to the hilt - without any kind of insight into the concept that you need to be aware of what your dog is doing at all times when you are in public, and ensure it is not being a nuisance. You dont have to be all over your dog all the time - but you do need to be paying attention to what it is doing so you can demonstrate it is under control (which is your legal duty). Long or retractable leads are not a good idea for this reason - you really have to be paying attention if you are using one.

Autumnismyfavouritetimeofyear · 21/09/2024 21:51

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/09/2024 17:58

Really something has to be done about the domination of public spaces by dogs and dog owners. It’s really getting out of hand.

No, not all dog owners, it is the CF ones who are the problem. There was a post last year about someone who had her dog on a long line and was reading things on her phone as she was going along - someone else walking past told her that she needed to pay attention to what her dog was doing and she was outraged. And defended her 'personal time to read her texts' to the hilt - without any kind of insight into the concept that you need to be aware of what your dog is doing at all times when you are in public, and ensure it is not being a nuisance. You dont have to be all over your dog all the time - but you do need to be paying attention to what it is doing so you can demonstrate it is under control (which is your legal duty). Long or retractable leads are not a good idea for this reason - you really have to be paying attention if you are using one.

Dunnoburt · 21/09/2024 22:15

Yanbu OP......I'd be livid........I had someone's off lead "baby" steal my child's lunch on the canal when we were fishing (karma is a bitch as it was chocolate spread)....I was met with a barrage of abuse when I said it should be on a lead if she couldnt recall/control it.......the owner also told every other dog owner we said hello to after we met her that there was a dog hater fishing and to make sure they kept their dog away from us! 😂honestly some people are just not on this fucking planet

MumChp · 21/09/2024 22:29

I had called the police at once if I was attacked by a dog and had personal stuff ruined at the park.
Her insurance (or her) should pay a new jumper and she owes a big apology.

coldcallerbaiter · 21/09/2024 22:31

AngelicKaty · 20/09/2024 20:00

Indeed, even when the OP states she has a dog herself and doesn't want to start a dog-hating thread. Some people just can't help themselves, it seems.

Some ppl hate dogs. I bloody hate them, they are disgusting.

AngryBookworm · 21/09/2024 22:41

What is it with those extendable leads? They're like a signal that someone can't be arsed to train their dog. And I'm sure it makes dogs more likely to pull as they just try their luck until the lead is randomly extended. OP, I would have done exactly what you did (yes it's better not to shout, but I know I'd have been the same) - what a horrible person. I hope her dog trips her up with its lead soon!

fluffyfurryfeatherythings · 21/09/2024 22:47

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/09/2024 17:58

Really something has to be done about the domination of public spaces by dogs and dog owners. It’s really getting out of hand.

Definitely.

Walked down a country path 600m to the beach today - had to dodge 6 piles of dogshit and had an off lead dog walk up and leave drool on my trousers.

Some of the dogshit hadn't been spotted by previous walkers as it had footprints in it. So sick of having to stare at the floor instead of at the scenery because of selfish arsehole dogowners.

Holidaysrule · 21/09/2024 22:47

I love dogs, all dogs. But that woman was an arsehole and of course should have had her dog under control. Public space (where dogs are allowed) is communal but that does not mean that her or my or any dogs should be allowed to invade anyone else’s space. Ever. My dogs are taught the command “on me” so they return to my side and stay with me past anyone else. If they even look like approaching anyone one else (as pp mentioned, picnics can be a challenge!) “on me” brings them back. And they are all rescue dogs, adopted as adults. I do not let them off until we have practiced, practiced, practiced in a secure area. There is no excuse for allowing your dog to behave like this.

dottiedodah · 21/09/2024 22:58

I think that's appalling .I have a dalmatian and would be horrified if she did this!totally unacceptable. The dog is not trained by the sounds of things

JohnofWessex · 21/09/2024 23:00

At one stage there was a ban on dogs in urban areas in Iceland

I can see getting to a situation where there could be a call for this in the UK and there are a group of dog owners who will have brought this in themselves

cadburyegg · 21/09/2024 23:23

YANBU op the entitlement of some dog owners is astounding.

My now 9yo DS has had a fear of dogs since he was a toddler and endless people just let their dogs run up to him and jump up at his pushchair. Before having him I was totally naive to the way some owners just don't control their dogs. I wish I had been more vocal about it back then. Some special stories:

Once a dog ran out of the house to chase DS down the path, the owner laughed because DS was scared 😡

A silly woman got offended when she overheard me saying to DS to walk on the other side of the path to an approaching off leash dog. I did this because DS was nervous, it had nothing to do with the dog itself. She tutted and said "he's friendly you know!"

One idiot on his phone walking his dog and letting it take over the path which meant we all (5 year old included) were forced to walk on the road.

Once when I went out running I saw ahead of me a man walking his dog who was off lead. I slowed down to a walk because it was a narrow path. I walked past the dog giving it as much space as I could yet the owner had the cheek to tell me I should "give her more space". I told him to put her on a lead if she didn't have good recall. Idiot.